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She stared down at Damien's boots, listening to the others snicker quietly at her expense. He wore similar boots to Adrian, except they had straps as well as laces and were more beaten up.
"Hmm, I forgive you I guess," Damien muttered quietly. His tone suggested he didn’t care much. It was only Adrien who seemed angered by this past indiscretion.
"Thank you," Sienna whispered, sighing with relief.
As she went to get up Adrian sprang into action, grabbing her by the neck and forcing her head down.
"Kiss his boots," Adrian demanded, forcing her face into the dirty leather. "You are grateful, right?"
The first thing that occurred to her was his strength. She'd never felt a grip like it. The other thing that struck her as odd was the use of force—surely he knew she would obey either way.
When he released his hold on her neck, he sat back cross-legged and smirked.
"In fact, lick his boots until they're clean," Adrian said. His eyes sparkled with sadistic joy, unblinking as he saw the look of contention on her face. Something about the expression was predatory—wolf-like. He bared his teeth as he continued to stare, pupils becoming even larger.
Not only was it beyond humiliating, as the other lads laughed like hyenas and Damien stared down at her with a confused half-smile, but it was gross. Why would he want her to lick another guy's boots? What did he get out of it exactly?
As she looked into his eyes, all she could guess was this was meant to torture her.
'He gets off on humiliating me,' she realised.
A mental block grabbed hold of her and for a horrible minute, she couldn't move.
'Just go home,' her inner voice screamed, echoing through her brain. 'Why are you putting up with this?!'
The thought that she could just say no and walk out, saving what was left of her dignity, was quickly scrubbed away by her need to keep Adrian happy.
A voice whispered in the dark recess of her mind, 'You are nothing without Adrian. Your life will be over if he leaves you alone.'
The words didn't register, just the feeling of abject hopelessness and loneliness, cold and stark and sharp enough to cut her to the bone.
'If he decides he doesn't want me anymore, I'll be worthless,' she decided. She had nothing but him, despite having known him only a short while. Everything else she previously valued in her life was nothing in comparison to his presence.
'I have no choice.'
Her self-esteem reached an all-time low as she stuck out her tongue and licked away the dust. She tried to minimize the taste by holding her breath, but it didn't help much.
"Dude," Damien cried, addressing Adrian. "What the actual fuck?"
"She'll do whatever I say," Adrian told him with a hint of arrogance that would be easy to miss.
"Oh, what!?" Shane cried as though it were the best news he'd had all year. "So make her get naked and fuck us already."
Sienna closed her eyes, feeling her blood run cold.
"Damien?" Adrian asked. "What do you think? You forgive her yet or shall we punish her some more?"
Feeling the cold hands of dread clambering at her neck, Sienna's head snapped up. She stared at Damien with wide, pleading eyes.
Not wanting the others to hear, she leaned in close to Damien. Though acutely aware that her breasts were pressing against him, she didn’t have the brain space to care as she whispered into his ear, begging for him to take pity on her.
"Oh, please, Damien, please, please pleeeeease have mercy. Damien, please," she hissed quietly and frantically as the other lads discussed what they'd have her do in graphic detail. Her face flushed with shame as she listened to their disgusting fantasies. “Oh please, Damien, please I beg—"
He gently nudged her away, giving her the strangest look. For a moment, she thought he was going ignore her plea for mercy and throw her to the wolves.
"You guys are disgusting," he cried. "Women are not objects to fulfil your perverted sexual desires."
He picked up the remote controller. "Object."
He picked up the empty coffee mug. "Object."
He placed a hand on Sienna's shoulder. "Not an object."
He made this little speech in such a way that it was funny, making the others giggle, but also got the point across.
"If ya'll want to be rapists you can do it somewhere far away from me," he said finally, crossing his arms to indicate the subject was closed.
"Come on, let's play some Warfare," Jay cried, taking the hint.
His words sank in as she watched the guys taking turns at the boring shooting game. She had no interest in it so sat stared into space as they entertained themselves and ignored her.
'Would it really be rape if he told me to have sex with them and I obeyed him?' Sienna wondered. Damien seemed to think so, but he had some odd opinions—like the whole vegan thing.
As she watched Adrian and Damien play each other, sitting side by side, she noticed how similar they were in looks and style. She would never have considered Damien as boyfriend material in a billion years, yet she had fallen head over heels for Adrian who, all things considered, was a crueller version of him.
'Am I only attracted to guys who want to use or abuse me?' she asked herself. First Tom, who had used her best friend to torment her, and now Adrian who was torturing and subjugating her not only for his personal amusement, but to please his friends.
When Damien's turn was over, he returned to the sofa, gracing her with one of those polite smiles as he sat next to her.
"Thank you," she said in a low voice so that Adrian wouldn’t hear. “Really, thank you. I’m so grateful.”
He looked down and let out a loud sigh before turning to her.
"Give me your phone," he said, holding out a fingerless glove encased hand—one of those stripy black and red ones that all the alt kids seemed to love. Sienna secretly liked the style but would never admit to it. One of her first ‘girl crushes’ had been Avril Lavigne, back before she’d become the main bitch princess of the school. Being little miss popular meant keeping up with all the lastest fashions.
Sienna pulled her phone from her pocket and put in the passcode before handing it over. She didn’t even think to ask why or say no.
"I'm downloading some songs for you. If you want to thank me, listen to these songs over and over until you know the lyrics by heart. Okay?"
Sienna nodded slowly, frowning. "O—okay." She'd agree to anything he said at this point, being so immensely grateful not only for his mercy but the fact he'd sided with her and shamed the others for their cruel and perverted wishes.
When he handed the phone back to her, she found the new songs in her playlist. 'Fuck machine,' and 'Refusing to be a man,' both by a band called Propagandhi.
At first, she was confused by his motives, but as she put her headphones in and listened, she realised the songs were about sexism.
Staring at the coffee mug and remote control, a stomach-wrenching question popped into her mind.
'If Adrian only sees me as an object, is it possible for him to ever truly love me?’