56

It wasn't the same as last time.

The first time she had smoked weed with Damien it had made everything seem much funnier... or more edible.

This time she simply felt paranoid. She couldn't stop looking at Damien. His face would change, becoming monstrous and distorted.

"Can this stuff give you hallucinations?" she asked him.

He shrugged. "It can. It isn't exactly like taking mushrooms or acid, but it does mess with your head."

He turned to her with a crazed grin. "Why? What do you see?"

"Erm..." She forced a laugh and looked away. "It's nothing."

Something wasn't right. She felt it deep inside, but it wasn't something she could put her finger on or explain in logical terms. Instead, she decided to bring up an issue she could describe.

"Your friends don't like me very much, do they?" she asked.

"Do you expect them to?" Damien shot back without giving the question a second thought.

"W—well... I mean... you could--" Sienna stuttered.

"You've been awful to every single one of them, and have you ever apologised? You said sorry to me but have you ever said sorry for all the times you looked down at them or treated them like trash?" Damien asked.

"I... erm... no," Sienna muttered, feeling herself shrink. He was right, of course. They had no reason to be nice to her or accept her.

"Sometimes I wonder who you think you are," Damien went on. It felt like he'd gone from explaining his point to attacking her. "You expect them to forgive you with no apology and no actions to rectify the past. It almost feels like expect them to be happy to have Queen Sienna in their group, but I can assure you the opposite is true. They despise you. And it is one hundred per cent your fault."

Tears welled up and spilt before she could even think to mentally shove them back. As she blinked another couple of fat droplets gathered and met at her chin. She wiped them away, hoping he wouldn't notice in the dark.

It wasn't the fact that his friends despised her—she couldn't care less about those lot.

Damien despised her.

She could see it on his face as clear as day, but it was more than that. She knew it in her bones... in her very being. He hated her.

'So why is he pretending to like me?' she wondered. 'Would he really make me fall in love just to break my heart?'

"You hate me too," she said. Her lips trembled as she closed her mouth, staring down with her eyes wide to halt the tears.

She had only just started seeing him, but the thought of life without him wasn't quite bearable. With everything that had happened, she didn't think she could cope with that pain. He was all she thought about. He was the only one she wanted. If he hated her... what did that make her?

'Alone.'

He let out a long sigh and stopped walking.

"If you honestly believe that is the truth... why are you still here?" he asked.

When he turned to her, placing a hand on each of her shoulders, she couldn't hold back the tears any longer.

As she sobbed, all she wanted was for him to hold her like he had done that day on the park bench.

"Well?" he asked. "It's no good crying. Explain yourself."

"I... I don't... I don't know." She sniffed between tears. "I just... I don't want you to hate me. Please don't hate me. I really am sorry."

"And I've told you I forgive you," he said. "Are you really going to throw a fit because I don't think my friends should forgive or accept you automatically just because I have?"

Damien shook his head. "Because this behaviour is pretty diva-like."

What he was saying made perfect sense. She was in the wrong. Every point he made was bona fide.

And yet.

She knew it was all lies. He despised her and this was all a cruel trick.

"Please just tell me the truth," she whispered.

"Truth?" He dropped his arms and paced about, shaking his head. "What truth? I don't know what you're talking about."

"I don't blame you," she said quietly, avoiding eye contact. "I understand why you hate me and why you’re doing this. But it's gone far enough. Please, Damien. Please tell me the truth. Please."

"If you are so sure this is all some sort of messed up trick to hurt you... why don't you walk away and never speak to me again?" he asked.

It was a fair question. The reason she couldn't walk away was the tiny chance he wasn't pretending to love her. If there was even a one in a million chance... she would cling to it.

"I want to be wrong," she said. Deep inside she knew she wasn't. She knew it, but she couldn't accept it. Not until he admitted it.

"But I'm not, am I?" she whined. "Oh, please, please just tell me. Please."

"Oh, Sienna." He tutted and took a step forward, standing so close she could feel his body heat. With his index finger, he traced a gentle line up her cheek before pushing her hair behind her ear. "Adrian did a real number on you. It's no wonder you feel this way. Like nobody could ever love you. But I am not him. Okay?"

Sienna nodded. Her small body trembled as she tried to steady her breathing and cease the tears. It was pointless. He clearly felt no pity for her.

'I'll have to go along with this,' she decided. 'I'll have to wait until he gets bored of punishing me.'

Her only hope was that her mental state would be better at that point and not worse.

"Let's go to my house." He smiled. "We don't have to do anything. We can make hot chocolate and brownies then curl up on the sofa with a movie."

That would have been heaven yesterday. It would have been amazing any other day.

But today was different because now she knew the truth. Now she was simply waiting for him to destroy her.

She smiled back at him and nodded. "I'd love to."