55

Sienna sat on the bed, watching Damien play his acoustic guitar. His other friends were scattered about the room, talking about some show they all watched—one she'd never watched or even heard of. They didn't include her in their conversation. On the rare occasions that she did try to speak to any of them, they looked at her like she was an idiot, nodded with a patronising 'uh-huh,' and then changed the subject.

Damien either did not notice that his friends were shunning her or did not care. That made their treatment so much more upsetting. If he even said one word in her favour it would validate her presence... but he didn't.

When he put down the guitar, he didn't come over to sit beside her but instead sat on the floor beside Erin. Erin was one of those artsy kids who always carried a sketchbook full of drawings. Until today, Sienna had not seen her artwork. Her former self would never bother with a loser like Erin.

She'd never liked Erin, but now she hated the girl. Partly out of jealousy and in part because of how Erin sneered and looked down her nose at her. Erin would make snide little comments about how Sienna was a fake and a try hard and the guys would snicker in agreement.

Never before had Sienna felt so out of place. So uncomfortable in her own skin. She wanted to go home. To go home and curl up in a ball and cry.

A deep sigh escaped her lips.

If she did that, she would forfeit time alone with Damien after these boring losers finally left.

Why wouldn't they just go away?

As she stared over at Damien, watching his lips move without hearing the conversation, she imagined kissing him. He was a surprisingly good kisser... among other things.

He must have sensed her staring because he glanced up at her and raised his eyebrows as if to ask, 'What?'

For some reason, she felt her cheeks turning red with embarrassment.

She flashed what she hoped was a cute smile before looking away. The odd thing was, she didn't know where to look. She felt as if everyone was watching her—the odd one out—and waiting for her to implode. This was ridiculous, of course. They had no way of knowing how close to breaking down her mind sat, teetering on the edge of sanity.

'I hate this feeling,' she thought, as Damien's cronies looked over at her with sly smiles and whispered.

The evening dragged. It dragged so hard her stomach turned over when they finally announced their intent to leave.

"Why don't we all go and hang out at the old graveyard like we used to?" Erin suggested, looking at Damien specifically. "We can take beers and smokes."

Sienna wanted to kick her. She even envisioned kicking her stupid little round head.

"Hmm." Damien pushed his lips to the side, considering the prospect.

'Please say no,' Sienna willed. She made eye contact with him, trying to communicate her overwhelming desire to do anything but. 'Please, please, pleeeeeeease.'

Damien stared blankly.

"Sounds fun, right?" he said at last.

Could he honestly not read her face?

Swallowing, Sienna nodded. What could she say? 'No, it sounds about as fun as eating glass?'

The air outside was still warm. Not as warm as when the unforgiving sun had beaten down on her bare shoulders, giving her a burn, but warm enough that they could wear bathing suits if they'd wanted to.

The group surrounded Damien, nattering in his ear about this and that. Again she was left out of the conversation, so fell to the back, following them to the graveyard her grandma and uncle were buried in. It seemed crass, tacky and disrespectful, but voicing such an opinion was hardly an option. If Damien chose to argue she would only end up looking stupid. Making people look stupid was his speciality and she wasn't in the mood to become his next victim.

As the group sat in the middle of the central clearing by the watering can filling station, Erin took candles from her bag and began to light them.

"For the ambience?" Sienna asked—a final attempt to start a conversation with the only other girl.

Erin curled her lip. "So I can see to roll the joint."

"Ah, right." Sienna gave a thin smile and fell silent once again.

"You smoke?" One of the guys asked her.

"Erm... only one time," she replied.

"Oh, it was funny." Damien smiled. "She was a complete mess. Couldn't even walk straight. I had to carry her home."

When the others laughed, she couldn't figure out if they were laughing with her or at her.

Once Erin was finished rolling, she passed it to Damien to light up. After taking a few puffs he breathed out what seemed like a never ending stream of thick white smoke. Instead of passing it to Sienna on his left, he passed it back to Erin. This was probably the done thing since she'd rolled it... nothing to get jealous over.

When the joint made its way to Sienna, she was excited to try it for the second time. It had been freaky, but fun.

It didn't even occur to her that she would be skipped.

As Mike passed it over her to Damien, she assumed he would give her some.

He took another crazily large drag and passed it to Erin.

'Am I invisible or something?' her inner voice raged. 'Am I one of the freaking ghosts?'

At that point, she wanted to walk away. But if she did, would Damien think she was pathetic? Would she look pathetic?

'What would Adrian do?' she found herself wondering. Why he'd popped into her head at such a moment was anyone's guess. Still, one thing was for sure... Adrian would not take this shit.

'Why is he in my head?' Sienna questioned, but his image wouldn't shift. She hadn't thought about him since the cupboard incident. Maybe it was her brain's way of shielding her from the trauma, but she'd pretty much forgotten all about him up until now.

She knew the answer to the question. Adrian would take what he wanted. He would take it and he'd challenge anyone who had a problem.

'I can't do that,' Sienna realised.

She asked herself a better question. What would the old Sienna do?

The answer was obvious, she'd get up and get the hell out of here.

After taking a deep breath she shifted, preparing herself to rise to her feet.

Her heart almost stopped when she felt Damien's hand in hers. When she turned to him and frowned, he smiled warmly.

"Do you want to try some?" he asked. "I won't think any less of you if you don't. We don't do peer pressure in this group."

Erin and the others all turned to look at her, smiling for the first time.

"Nope. It's up to you. Wanna try?" Erin asked, holding out the joint.

The little orange cherry glowed in the dark night, waiting for her decision.

"Sure." Sienna reached for it. "Thank you."

When they cheered her on, she finally felt like part of the group rather than an annoying outsider.

Damien chuckled, not unkindly, as she tried not to cough up a lung. He draped an arm over her shoulder and pulled her in.

"That's my girl."