TWENTY-SIX: REAL FEELINGS

KIMBERLY


I didn't get to meet Mrs. McGillivary again because she left the house, going for the meeting Liam had said he would go for. We ate our food in silence for a while. Aiden had left for work. Liam could let him stay out of work for days, as long as they were together, but once Mrs. McGillivary was around, no one misses work and gets paid. Even Mr. White was in the house waiting for Liam and me to finish our breakfast. Mrs. McGillivary had dropped a message for Liam, telling him that she would see him at the party by seven.

"Hey, it's not as if someone died, it's just my mother," Liam said.

I peeked at him from my lashes. "Well, you all made me feel like she was a messenger of death."

Liam chuckled and I glanced at him. I didn't know I could be funny. "Eat, she doesn't bite."

I calmed down and ate my food, refusing to look at Liam. I couldn't get what happened last night off my head. I needed to know how I got up to the bed and my imagination started running wild. What if he carried me from the couch? Did I follow him willingly? Wait, did he like me? I suddenly shook my head, but my cheeks burned and I looked at him. He was eating without looking up at me.

"Uhm..." I started.

He looked up at me and corked his eyebrow. "What?"

"Nevermind," I said quickly and kept eating my food.

Liam dropped his fork and wiped his mouth. "If you never wanted to talk about it you shouldn't have brought it up."

I paused my lips. I didn't know how I was going to ask him about it. I inhale and exhaled. "It's nothing, I'm just being curious."

"Curious about what?"

"Last night."

"You don't still remember?" he asked his eyes a little dilated.

Was I supposed to remember? I was a deep and bad sleeper. My breath almost caught in my throat when I thought that I could have actually been the one that went up to his bed. "Did I go there myself?"

He scowled at me. "You don't even remember how clingy you were last night..." He looked away from me and clicked his tongue. "So horny."

My eyes widened and I looked around. "Horn...I can never be so horny."

He looked back at me. "Hey, do you have feelings for me?"

"What? Are you being serious right now? Where is that coming from? Why...Why would you feel I have feelings for you?"

"Because you were clinging to me last night like I am the only one you want to be with. You were not even drunk."

"What?!"

He smirked. "I know I am handsome but we are not compatible. Sorry."

My mouth fell open and I wanted to reply to him, but the words just refused to form. He sat there looking at me with a smug smile on his face. I chuckled unbelievably and blinked my eyes, his smile widened and I suddenly found my voice. "Hey, Never!" I said looking him in the eyes.

His smile faded a little and he gave me a quizzical look. "Never what?"

"I can never have feelings for you."

An incredulous look crept into his eyes. "Really?"

I dropped my spoon. "Does it look like I have any interest in you?" It was my turn to feel smug because I saw incredibility printed on his face. "You are not my type."

He was definitely my type, but I was getting back at him for always making me feel less important. His face was serious. I didn't expect him to take it as seriously.

"What's your type? Aiden? The guy I saw you with last night? I am more good-looking than both of them put together."

I scoffed. "Pat is my friend, not my lover."

"Is that what you think?" he asked.

My brows drew into a quizzical frown. "What do you mean?"

"You are the one taking him as a friend."

"Stop saying nonsense. Pat and I have been friends since high school and he had never made any advances toward me. You are just being jealous."

Jealou...what? Me? Jealous of you?" It was his time to be stunned. "Wow, never! I am not even attracted to you." He leaned closer. "Last night, if you were another woman, I would have ripped you apart."

My cheeks burned. I didn't know which I felt. Anger or embrassement. I quickly stood, flushed. "I will be going over to my place today."

"What? Why? The party is by seven p.m."

"I will be back before seven," I said trying to keep my voice as normal as possible.

"I will have someone drive you."

"No, thanks." I left the dining hurriedly, not waiting for him to say anything.





Mum and dad stared at me as if I was an alien when I walked into the restaurant. Mum had been cooking in the kitchen while dad was arranging the counter, there were no customers yet. Mum was holding a cooking spoon in her hand and her eyes ran over me. Then, she moved closer and spanked my shoulder.

"Where did you go last night? Why did you turn off your phone? Where did you get such an expensive dress from?" She kept spanking me as she spoke.

"Ah, ah, ah, Mum, that's so painful," I whined, stepping away from her, but she followed me. My mum was a bull and she cherished authority so much, while my dad was the quiet one. "Stop mum!" I cried and she stopped staring at me with anger. "Why do you hate me so much!" I was in a foul mood. The statement Liam made at the mansion still rankled me and mum was here making things worse for me.

"What?" mum asked, looking at me in surprise.

Tears started pouring down my eyes. "No matter what I do, I would never be good for anyone! I am so tired!" I was even surprised at my outburst. Mum and dad stood there looking at me in awe. Mum's spoon hung in her hand as she stared at me. "I am always the same person, nothing I do is good enough. No matter how I try to brush away the stain from me, it would never go away. No matter how expensive the clothes I wear are, no matter the house I stay in, no matter the kind of food I eat, I am still classless and worthless!"

"Kim..."Mum called softly but I cut her off.

"You hate me so much that you don't introduce me as your daughter to anyone unless they ask, you want Khloe to move into her own room because I was disturbing her, you are beating me because I spent a night outside, but Khloe spend days outside and you accept her with open arms..."

"Are you drunk?"

"Do I look drunk!" I yelled that my mum flinched. "I am tired...I am tired of everyone not seeing any good in me, I am tired of not being an option for anyone." My parents were shocked to the bone marrow because even when I stormed up the stairs, they didn't shake.

It was how I really felt. I didn't belong anywhere. No matter how much all these girls were jealous of me, I felt empty. I could never be good enough for anyone. I just felt like running far, far away from everyone, I just felt like letting myself drown in water, I felt different things at that moment. I went up the stairs, went into my room, and headed straight to my closet. I took out my briefcase and started throwing in my clothes. I didn't have anywhere in mind to go, but I just wanted to leave.

I didn't even want to go back to Liam's place, I didn't want to see him and I didn't want any more derogatory remarks from him. Once I was done putting my clothes into the briefcase, I closed it and started down the stairs. Mum and dad were seated at one of the tables. They quickly rose to their feet when they saw me coming down the stairs.

"Where do you think you are going?" mum asked.

"I am leaving," I said quietly, dragging my briefcase down the stairs.

"Kimberly," my dad called.

"Dad, please." I didn't want my dad to talk some sense into me, I didn't even want to look at him so I won't change my mind.

"What has gotten into you, my child?" dad asked.

"Can't you see I'm rebelling?" I turned to mum. "I am leaving so that you won't be embarrassed or uncomfortable introducing me as your child."

Jimmy walked in and we all turned to look at him, he stared with surprise, looking from mum to dad and then to me. "What's going on here?" he asked no one in particular.

I dragged my briefcase towards the door, but he held my forehand, stopping me. I looked up at him, he was my younger brother but he was taller than I am.

"Kim, what is this? Where are you going to?"

"Do you have a death wish?" I asked, looking down at my hand.

He quickly let go of me and I dragged my briefcase out of the restaurant. They all stood there staring at me.