How Much I Want You

“You got the short end of the stick as you were growing up, but you didn’t let that stop you. You weren’t bitter about it or trodden down. And I remember thinking how strong you were when I met you.” He leaned in and brushed my lips with his. "It's the same now. If I were you, I would be so angry. But you're smiling and beautiful and happy about the snow..." He broke off and shook his head.

I threaded my fingers with his, not needing him to say another word. I knew what he was trying to say, and it meant the world to me that he felt that way.

Suddenly the baby kicked hard, and both of our mouths fell open, our eyes widening in surprise.

"You felt that, right?" I asked, knowing he hadn't been able to feel the baby move much at all up to this point.

He nodded slowly, his eyes glancing down at our hands. "He's going to be a soccer player."

I giggled when he bent over to place his head on my belly. "Kick for Daddy. Kick me."

It took a few pleas for him to get his wish, but he sat back up afterward, rubbing his cheek with a mile-wide smile. It was just about the cutest thing ever.

I laughed. "Quit acting like it hurt."

"You don't know. My boy has some strong legs."

I gave him credit for realizing his mistake almost immediately, gulping at my mock glare. But I wanted to play with him.

"I don't know? Did you really just say I had no idea how it felt to be kicked by him?"

"I didn't mean it that way."

I narrowed my eyes. "How did you mean it, then?"

He hesitated, watching my face to see if I was serious or not. "There's no way for me to get out of this, is there?"

I couldn't hold my smile in any longer, grabbing his shirt and pulling him closer for a real kiss. It felt great to have some of our normal back. The normal was short-lived though. As soon as we pulled in front of the home, I only got a second to enjoy the sight before Nicholas was bundling me up and helped me out of the car.

"It's too cold out here," he said, bending down to pick me up in his arms.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting you inside."

I groaned. "Don't you dare treat me like an invalid."

Although it felt good to be in his arms, I was tired of not doing things for myself. He kept going, being very cautious and slow on the steps leading to the front door. Just as we got there, he kissed me and put me on my feet.

"I don't think you're an invalid. I just didn't want your first set of stairs to be snow-covered."

He was right. I was being a brat. Before I could apologize, the door swung open and Laura hurried us both inside.

"It's so good to have you back." Laura didn't even pretend to hold back her tears. I turned to face her again.

"It's good to be back." She eventually let go, taking my hand.

"Come on then. Let's get you settled."

Nicholas chuckled and held my other arm.

I was surprised as we passed through, turning to look at him. "You left up the Christmas decorations?"

He nodded. "We weren't going to have the holiday without you."

I almost choked on a sob. "So we can still have Christmas?"

"Everyone's coming over in a couple of days to celebrate."

It meant so much that they would wait for me. "I'm surprised you managed to keep them all away today."

He laughed. "Yeah. That was a tough one. I had to threaten bodily harm to a few of them. But I wanted you to have time to get settled first."

When we passed the stairs, I raised my eyebrows at Laura. "Where are we going?"

Nicholas cleared his throat. "I had some remodeling done."

Neither of them said another word, although I was bursting with curiosity. I didn't expect to find what awaited me. He'd reconfigured part of the first floor into another master bedroom.

"This is just temporary until you feel you are able to get up and down the stairs well enough," he started, sounding nervous.

I was surprised but amazed at his thoughtfulness. It was definitely better than me falling down any stairs again or having to deal with him wanting to carry me around or something equally ridiculous.

"This is great." I squeezed his hand to make sure he knew I appreciated it. "Thank you."

"Are you tired? Do you feel like a nap?" he asked while Laura left my side to put my bag away.

I shook my head. The last thing I wanted was to be lying down again.

"I want to take a shower and eat."

Laura practically did a jig. "I have so many of your favorites ready to go. Let me go whip some things up."

Nicholas and I laughed, watching her rush off toward the kitchen. I leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He hugged me back, rocking us both a little. Almost like we were dancing.

"This is what I last remember," I said, smiling against his chest and filling my nose and lungs with his smell. "The way it felt dancing in your arms."

He stopped moving, and I glanced up to find him frowning.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head, giving me a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Nothing. Let me show you the new shower I put in."

I held back a sigh, but let him lead me away. How long was it going to take for him to get back to normal?

.

"Closer." He scooted in more. "Tighter." His arms squeezed around me.

But it wasn't enough.

I wiggled my body, nestling my back to his front, wanting absolutely no space between us.

It was wonderful to be home. To be in Nicholas's arms while we slept. After having that taken away while in the hospital, I was savoring every second. But three days in, I was craving even more.

He was being too careful. Too chaste. He was scared to push any physical limits, despite my assuring him I was fine.

Over six weeks without Cocky Jr. was not okay with me. And it wasn't just about the sex. It had never just been about the sex with him. It was about the connection. The intimacy. I wanted that back too.

"Nicholas." I pressed my butt against him, hiding my smile in a pillow when he groaned. Damn him for wearing pajama pants.

His hand slipped under my nightie, gently roaming my skin while he delivered light kisses to my neck.

I almost giggled when his hand stopped moving and his body tensed.

"Fuck." He almost sounded in pain. "You aren't wearing any panties."

"No. I'm not."

Sometimes a girl had to take some initiative. When he started to lift his hand off my hip, I placed mine on top, steering both down between my legs. Exactly where I wanted him.

"I don't want to hurt you." He was breathing harder, the warm air rushing over my hair and skin.

"You won't. Please?"

He made some strangled noise, his fingers tentative.

I sighed and turned my head toward him. "Don't you want me anymore?"

He actually growled at me, putting his lips right next to my ear. "You know I do. I know you can feel how much I do."

Yes, I could feel it. I could feel it all. Every single inch he pressed against me even harder to prove a point. That's what I wanted though. And his gravelly voice vibrating in my ear at the same time made me want it—him—even more.

His fingers started moving without my insistence, sliding along my skin while he mumbled words like warm and wet in my ear. He was driving me crazy.

His breathy chuckle made me shiver. "You really want this, don't you?" Duh.

"Yes." I reached behind me, tugging on the waistband of his pants.

"Take these off." He hesitated again.

"How about just my fingers?"

"No."

He nibbled my ear. "How about my mouth?"

That one made me pause. He could do things with his tongue that made me forget my name. But it wasn't what I wanted. "No."

"I love it when you get all demanding." I smiled, feeling him kick off his pants. He immediately returned to me, guiding my top leg forward and bending my knee.

"You have to promise me." He slid his cock against me, and I was so slick and ready I would have promised him anything. "Promise me you'll tell me if anything hurts. Promise?"

"Yes, yes. I promise." I was close to whimpering.

He started pushing in, both of us panting. It felt great, but he was going so slow.