Anguish

Peter’s POV
I woke up to find the hotel room empty. I couldn’t sense her heartbeat and her scent was fading fast.

I lurched out of bed, realising that her clothes were gone, I dressed quickly. Desperate to find her, fear and worry nibbling at the edges of my mind. Braon was pacing like a caged animal.

I followed her scent to the lift and made my way to reception. Scanning every corner, every hallway, every open door I pass. Looking, looking for her.

I paused in the foyer, my eyes narrowing as I realise her scent leads out into the city streets.

‘Excuse me, Mr Bilavoda,’ a woman’s voice interrupts my thought process.

I turn, snapping ‘What?’ a snarl on my face.

The woman pales. I take in her smart uniform, her name badge and the fact that she is holding a piece of hotel stationery. Shit I have just terrified the receptionist, I think to myself.

‘S-sorry, to d-disturb you,’ she stutters. ‘Your companion l-left you this.’ She holds out the piece of paper to me.

I take it from her trembling hands, and she scuttles into the private office as fast as her legs will carry her.

I look at the folded piece of paper in my hand, it just has my name written on the outside. I take a moment to admire the script, realising this is the first time I have seen my love’s handwriting. I can smell her on the paper, I realise her tears have soaked it, imbuing it with her essence.

My fear deepens.

I don’t want to read the note, but I need to know where she has gone, why I have been presented with just a note.

Slowly I unfold the paper and read her message. So short, so stark. I crush the paper in my fist, and I am out through the door, running… following her delightful aroma… if I can find her quickly enough…

She didn’t enter a car, she walked, her smell still lingers in the morning air… I am thankful that it is Sunday, so there are fewer people around to hide the scent.

I am moving too fast, I risk drawing attention to myself, but I must find her. I slow as I approach a large building. NO, I think, as I realise it is the train station.
Sunday the station is quieter than during the week. It is like a vast echoey stone room. I scan the concourse, there is no sign of her. Her trail leads to a ticket machine then through the barriers to the platforms.

I run towards the platform… behind me someone is shouting, but I simply don’t care. I take the stairs two, three, four at a time, bounding down onto the platform.
It is empty.

The train has long gone, and so has my Emma.

I drop to my knees and howl.
…
Once I have pulled myself together and sorted out the minor misunderstanding with the station employee about me jumping the barrier, I take off to the only other place I can think of… her home.

The house is in darkness, cold and forbidding, but I believe she will return to it because of the cats. Personally, I can’t see the appeal, but clearly, she is very fond of her feline companions, and I feel sure she won’t just abandon them.

I crouch and sit on the pavement, across the street from her home, watching, not wanting to scare her off… she has to come home… Doesn’t she?

While I am waiting I calm down a little. I still have the message, carefully I uncrumple it then fold it, placing it in my wallet for safe keeping. Then I contact Fel.

Fel I mind-link.

*Emma’s gone and I don’t know what to do*

*Where are you?* She asks.

*Outside her house*

*Stay there I will come to you*

Twenty minutes later Fel turns up in her sensible black Ford and beckons me to join her in the warmth of the car. To be honest until then I hadn’t notice that I was sitting on the cold tarmac on a frost February morning

Fel hands me a coffee in a paper cup.

‘Want to tell me what is going on?’ she asks.

Urghh.. where to start? I start by giving her the note Emma left.

Fel reads it and her eyes flash, angry for me and not at me.

‘I have to find her Fel. I don’t think I can survive without her’

Fel sighs. ‘I know Petey, but how dare she hurt you like this, you offered her everything’

I smile sadly at the use of my childhood nickname, ‘I also said she had to give up everything for me, but I need her, the pack need her.’

‘Are you sure that a weak human is what the pack need as a Luna, especially with the disappearances?’

I look at Fel.

‘Yes, otherwise the Goddess wouldn’t have paired us.’

We sit in silence, waiting.
…
It was getting dark again when I spotted Jo approaching the house. She didn’t stop and knock, she just let herself in.

Lights went on in the house.

I got out of the car, walked down the path to the front door and knocked.

After a few moments Jo opened the door. Her eyes blazed and she punched me square in the face.

‘What the fuck did you do to my mum, you arsehole?’ she hissed.

I stood stunned, boy does that girl have a strong right hook for a human girl, blood dripped from my nose.

‘Awww crap, I did warn you though,’ she continued, realising she had popped my nose. ‘You better come in while I find some ice and explain what the hell is going on.’

Jo and I talk for an hour, she doesn’t know where her mum is. She got a text message asking her to look after the cats, and saying that Emma didn’t know when she would be back.

At least Jo has stopped blaming me, although she is right, it is all my fault. I demanded that Emma choose me and abandon everyone in her life. Jo and Sam have been nothing but kind to me, helping me understand their mum. Shit, I am jealous of their relationship with her, their bond… I want Emma to be mine and mine alone, so I gave her an ultimatum and now I am reaping what I sowed.

Jo is right I am an arsehole.
…
My days find a new structure. I speak to Jo or Sam daily for news of their mother. She never says where she is, she never gives a single clue. Mostly the contact is by e-mail or text, but she has set it up so they can’t reply.

There was one video sent, for Rosie’s birthday. Sam sent me a copy and I watch it on repeat. She looks tired and thinner in the video, but she is so stunning. I pray that the Goddess is watching over her.

The second week I summoned Barlas, my beta to help coordinate the search.

I know the train was bound for the north, which supported the financial data we gathered.

Griffin hacked her bank accounts once I involved the pack, and I now know she withdrew a large amount of cash from a branch in Edinburgh the day after she vanished, and her credit card has a charge the next day from ‘Touring Trips’, a company that hires out caravans and campers. Other than that nothing. My girl has dropped off the grid.

Sleep is a fleeting friend now, if I get two hours I feel blessed. In my dreams I find her, and she forgives me, then she is ripped from my arms by and unseen force and I wake up screaming.

The pain in my chest from the mate link maintains a steady dull ache. Food tastes like ashes in my mouth and I am drinking too much, but at least I know she is safe.

I haunt the house, my concentration is shot. Braon is barely communicating with me. It is worse for him, humans can have multiple mates, he can only have one.

I have moved Spot, Romeo, and De Niro in with me. Braon and I finding a strange comfort caring for the felines, they sleep on our bed at night, and I make sure that their food is fresh and wholesome.

I have also started taking care of Jo, Sam, and Rosie. I want them to accept me, so I can prove to Emma that we can be a family together.
…
It has been nearly four weeks since Emma left. The place Fel and I have called home here is packed up and ready to go. We should have left nearly a week ago, but I remain, hoping she will return.

I am standing at the back door, looking out over the city, the dull ache of my mate bond ever present, when it flares into life, knocking me to my knees.

Pain, fear, panic flow through me, threatening my equilibrium. My eyes flash purple. My phone is ringing.

I roar ‘**EMMA, I AM COMING**’