Loss (Trigger Warning)

Peter’s POV
Emma is going shopping, what is it with women and shopping? I wonder to myself. Still, I loved the way she asked, a smile twitches at my lips. And understand her not wanting to witness Jerf’s lashing, as she feels responsible for it happening to him.

I hear her yell upstairs that she loves me as the front door opens.

*Love you too, kitten,* I link her.

*Everything okay commander,* I link to Sonia, one of my top commanders, an elite warrior and childhood friend.

*Yes, Alpha,* she responds in her I am on duty tone. *I have the Luna. Dave, Percy, and I will accompany her to Newton and return her to you by dinner.*

*Thank you, commander.* Dave and Percy are a good choice, twins and very loyal to the pack.

I finish dressing, and head downstairs for brunch in the communal dining room.

I decide on a full English breakfast, smiling that I have chosen a traditional dish from my mate’s homeland, and digging into a plate piled high with bacon, sausages, black pudding, fried eggs, mushrooms, beans, and toast.

After food I walk to my office, checking on the hunt for the missing children, pictures of all twenty-three that we are aware of, no matter the pack, stare back at me from a board I have set up. I sit at my desk and sign various orders that are waiting for me and check in to see if we have any new occupants in the cells… we don’t.

At quarter to two I make my way to the training grounds. The area is crowded, but quiet. Most of the pack has gathered to witness the punishment, as once it has been completed Jerf will be accepted back to the pack as if nothing had happened. Wolves don’t hold grudges.

Jerf is already in position, tied to a post in the centre, his back bare and exposed to me.

‘You ready,’ I ask him, as the clock approaches the hour.

‘Yes, Alpha, let’s do this.’

‘Thank you all for coming today, once Jerf has received his lashes, he will become your Luna’s permanent protection unit.’

They give a small cheer for his promotion. Then Barlas hands me the whip, a plain leather lash, nothing extra, and the assembled pack-mates fall silent.

SMACK… the first stroke lands, his skin reddens, but doesn’t break. He grunts slightly.

SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK… blow after blow criss-crosses his back. The blood starts to flow after the twelfth stroke and becomes more and more with each subsequent one.

SMACK… He screams in agony on the twenty sixth stroke, I falter for a moment, knowing that Emma would hate this. Then pulling myself together I deliver the last four quickly.

With the final lash I walk forward and cut Jerf down, he has acquitted himself well, and I am proud that he will protect my love going forward.

I grasp his forearm pulling him up and letting our foreheads touch, a sign of respect and comradeship.

‘C’mon, let’s go get you cleaned up, or my love will be making me sleep on the couch tonight,’ I tell him.

He nods and we head in companionable silence towards the training area shower block. Suddenly he stops. Spinning on one foot, like a weathervane.

‘LUNA,’ he roars, his eyes cloud. ‘There is fear, she is in danger.’

*SONIA,* I scream into our mindlink, Newton is at the far edge of a practical mind link, but I try anyway.

*Lauren… rogues… swarm…* I get back like a whisper in static. A radio message from a long way away, not quite tuned in properly.

I can’t reach Percy or Dave, they aren’t as strong as Sonia, and I feel the link to her go dead, even the static has gone.

I open the pack wide link.

*BARLAS, form up the warriors at the front… Newton and the Luna are under attack… we leave in 2 minutes.*

I look over to Jerf, his eyes are still glazed, although he is moving, or should I say staggering towards Newton.

He goes down poleaxed, I don’t know if it is the blood loss or something through the bond, I seriously regret the lashes now.

I look around and summon over a couple of omegas, ‘Please get Jerf to the hospital,’

They take him, and I shift, destroying my clothes. Braon will be faster than I, and we are going to war.
…
Braon’s POV
Mate is in danger runs through my mind. I charge to the front of the packhouse. A hundred warriors face me in human form, seeing my form clothes shred like confetti and they shift to wolf too. Everyone understands the urgency, that delays to save clothes are unacceptable.

I howl my pain, they howl back, then we turn to Newton.

I lead the pack. I am the Alpha, they follow me, a sea of fur and claw and teeth. Wrath and vengeance.

We flow through the forests, but I am aware of Mabel on the road to the pack-lands, I go to intercept her, until I realise the saddle is empty.

Pain rips through me, a void where my mate-link should be, I can not feel her. Rage consumes me.

We get to the town, rogues are everywhere. Everyone knows their duties, so I dive into the fight.

I rip the throat out of the first rogue I encounter, the coppery taste of blood in my mouth doing nothing to sate or lessen my anger.

I leap to the next, jaws on their nape, they roll trying to shake me off, I feel claws from a third, and then a fourth locks their jaws around my rear leg. I shake my head, snapping the neck of the one I hold, then I turn to the others.

Wolf after wolf dies by my jaws, by my claws. I have wounds across my body, blood matts my fur, but nothing matters, I can’t feel my mate.

The foes slow, and then there are no more. I howl again for my mate.

Barlas approaches me, tall, broad and in human form, probably the best idea too, as a wolf approaching at the moment would die.

‘Braon,’ he says, eyes down, submissive posture. ‘Braon, I need Peter back, please, her body isn’t here.’

How can her body not be here, they haven’t looked hard enough.

I take off, circling out, I find Mabel’s scent and follow that, nearly to the tree line, then there is the ghost of her and others. Then it stops… but there is no body, I don’t understand how this can be.

I sink to my haunches in the last place I can smell her. Then I let go.
…
Peter’s POV
I feel hollow, Barlas found us near the forest, and keeps thrusting sweatpants at me, as we walk back to the epicentre of the attack. How does our nakedness affect anything?

Dave is dead, Percy and Sonia are barely alive. When they found her the disembowelled and unconscious she-wolf was being used as a ‘pleasure toy’ by a group of rogues. All of whom are now dead. Percy was found near the stables, under a pile of rogue corpses, he had nearly bled out from the number of wounds he had suffered.

I hold no anger towards them, it is clear they fought with everything they had, and the fact they aren’t dead means the Goddess was looking out for them.

‘For Goddess sake put on some pants,’ Barlas huffs at me. ‘There are fucking kids here, not all of them are wolves and you look… you look like shit.’

‘I can’t feel her, Barlas,’ I mutter, taking the pants and putting them on. ‘I can’t feel Emma, just a void… it hurts… but where is her body?’ A tear rolls down my face.

‘I don’t know, Alpha,’ he tells me. ‘We have captured five rogues, but lost eight of the pack, including Dave. The rest of the rogues are dead or fled.’

I look round with dead eyes. Blood paints the cobbles, and the sides of the building. My eyes are drawn to eighteen bodies off to one side, covered in blankets, a woman sits by them, her eyes as dead as mine, rocking back and forth, uncaring of who is around.

‘Who are they?’ I point to the bodies, the woman.

‘Town guards, the groom from the stable, a constable… all the people who stood up against the rogues… they didn’t have a chance.’ Barlas tells me.

‘And the woman?’

‘I have no idea, a wife, a mother, a mate, maybe all three.’

I want to go to her, but I have no idea what to say, her face mirrors my pain.

‘Leave a troop here to help guard the town. I will head back to the pack and question the prisoners.’
…
I walk back to the pack-lands. I am a hollow man, I had her, I found her, and now she is gone. It is not like before, then deep down I knew she was still out there, just hiding from me.

I walk, tears flow down my face, I see her face smiling at me. So many images of laughter and excitement. I can feel her compassion and warmth in my memories.

I stop, sobbing against a tree, it is not fair, I only just found her. I am weakened by her loss.

I walk on, vaguely aware of a protective circle of wolves, keeping me safe. If the Goddess wants me, I will go willingly to her, without Emma, without my kitten, what is the point?

As I enter Whitewater, grief rolls over me. The grief for our fallen, the grief for the Luna. A howl echoes through the lands.