Sam - **Trigger Warning**

Sam’s POV
Today has been okay, I think to myself. The weather had been drizzly, so sadly I didn’t get to go out to the park with Rosie, but my sister Jo had come round and we had had fun together, just chilling out.

Rosie had gone down for her nap about 2:30pm, which gave me time to clean the house and start prepping dinner for her daddy.

‘Steak for dinner, bab XXX’ I texted him, excited that he would be home tonight after working away all week.

About an hour later I got a text back ‘Going for a drink with the lads. Home about 7.’

My heart sinks a little… I was hoping to have a nice evening with him, and maybe put Rosie to bed together. Last weekend was traumatic, and I am hoping to have a chat and put it behind us… He had gone out drinking last Sunday, and when I challenged him about it, when he finally got home at gone 11pm he had hit me. It isn’t the first time, I don’t like it when he gets angry, but like he said I make him crazy, when I talk to the men at work and nag him about coming home.

I am slightly panicked about how I am going to keep the house tidy when Rosie wakes up. At just over two years old, she is a one child wrecking machine, and it upsets her daddy if the house isn’t spotless.

Maybe I should stop working, then I could devote all my time to Richard. I am sure that would make him happy. Yes, that is what I will do, I decide. I will tell him later after dinner.

Dinner is all ready to cook, potatoes chipped and ready to fry, onion rings, peas, steak and peppercorn sauce ready to go on.
It gets to 6:30pm and I text Richard ‘Let me know when you leave the pub, so I can put dinner on. XXX’

‘Just having one more’ comes back.

It is nearly 8pm and still no Richard, and still no text, so I reach out again. ‘Are you going to be long, bab XXX’

I take Rosie upstairs, we brush her teeth and wash her face, then I read her a story and settle her down to sleep.

There is still no answer when I get downstairs, so I decide to ring him. He picks up on the third ring.

‘What do you want?’ he snarls down the phone at me.

Shit, I shouldn’t have phoned, I think. I am so stupid.

‘I w-was just wondering when to put dinner on,’ I say in a conciliatory tone.

‘Checking up on me more like you useless cunt.’

‘Sorry, bab, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.’ My heart rate is rising. I don’t want him to be angry when he gets home. I should know better than to upset him.

‘I’ll be home when I am finished.’ He hangs up on me.

I don’t know what to do… should I have food; but last time I ate without waiting for him he was really upset, and broke one of my ribs; having said that if I don’t eat, I might not get to eat at all today. I decide not to eat, and put the food away in the fridge, for later or tomorrow.

I scrub the kitchen with bleach, so he can smell that I have cleaned it, and sweep through downstairs. Part of me wants to vacuum, but Rosie is in bed.
…
I must have dozed off on the couch. I am awakened by the sound of a key in the front door. Richard staggers in with his mate Keith, talking loudly.

‘Shhh,’ I say, not wanting the men to wake up my daughter.

‘What the fuck do you mean… shhh… this is my fucking house; I pay for it you stupid slut.’

‘Rosie’s asleep…’ I beg him.

He stares at me, struggling to focus. Keith is clearly a bit more sober and excuses himself, mumbling an apology.

I thank Keith and shut the door behind him…

Crack… my forehead bounces off the hallway wall. I turn towards Richard only to be grabbed and thrown into the front room.

I stumble and fall, shooting out my arms to catch myself. There is a loud snap as my collar bone breaks. I grab my injured arm to me.

I sit on the floor looking up at him… his face is angry and contorted.

He walks towards me; I scoot backwards across the floor.

I watch him remove the heavy leather belt from his trousers, with no comprehension.

Thwock… I bite back a scream as the metal buckle tears into my flesh… his arm pulls back and again the buckle hits me.

My arms, torso and legs are on fire from repeated strokes, so I curl into a ball until he is finished. This is the worst it has ever been. I shouldn’t have said anything.

Then it is over. He switches on the TV, sitting calmly on the couch calmly.

‘Get us a beer love, and rustle up some food,’ he commands.

I pull myself up, only one wound is bleeding, and go and get him his beer.

‘What would you like to eat?’ I ask in a subdued tone.

‘I thought you was doing steak tonight,’ he responds, so I rush back to the kitchen to cook.

My left arm is pretty much useless, but I don’t want to anger him again tonight, so I retrieve the food I put away and start cooking.

Twenty-five minutes later I place dinner on the table, with a fresh can of beer for him and a glass of water for me.

We sit opposite each other, not talking, I am struggling to cut my meat, even with a steak knife.

‘What the fuck is wrong with you,’ he growls.

‘I think you broke my collar bone,’ I say foolishly, inspiring his anger again.

‘Fucking clumsy twat, it’s not my fault you fell,’ he yells at me, pointing his steak knife at me threateningly.

WAAAAAAAH…. Oh my god he has woken up Rosie. My heart is in my throat.

‘MAMA,’ Rosie screams from upstairs.

Richard’s face is blank, his eyes demonic…. ‘another stupid cunt I have to take care of,’ he mutters, as he gets up.

He has the knife in his hand… no not Rosie, he can’t hurt my baby… Like a veil lifting I can see that this is all wrong.

I grab him to pull him back, and he backhands me into the wall, rattling my teeth, I see stars… but I can’t stop. I manage to get in front of him… blocking the stairs… his arm goes back and pain sears through my belly… I cover the pain with my hand, it is warm and wet… shit he has stabbed me.

The hand holding the knife is coming towards me again… I try to defend myself, as he slashes at my hands and arm… Again, and again the knife comes down… he is screaming profanities at me, covered in my blood… all I know is that I can’t let him get up the stairs.

Then it stops, and he is looking at me, and at the blood.

‘What the fuck did you want to go and make me do that?’ he says. Then he grabs his coat and his keys.

I start moving towards my phone. He sees me and grabs my phone.

‘Please… I need an ambulance.’

‘Nah I am not letting you call anyone and blame me, you bitch.’ With that he walks out the front door, locking me and Rosie in.
…
I make it to the bottom of the stairs before I passed out.

I come round and my blood is everywhere. Rosie is quiet now, I hope she is okay, thankfully the baby-gate stops her getting down to this.

I need help, I need to get my baby out of here. I crawl towards the front door.

It takes all my strength to get up and try to open it, but it is locked. I start sobbing quietly to myself. I want my mum, Richard has been worse while she has been away, she would help me with Rosie. Mummy, I sob, a silent prayer. I miss you, I need you.

I wake up on the hallway floor, I must have passed out again. I feel so weak, I wonder if this is it, if this is how I die. I am pretty sure Richard will manage to get away with it… he always gets away with everything.

I am sobbing, big snot bubbles are forming… my corpse is going to be an ugly snotty mess… who will look after my angel I wonder.

My vision is narrowing and there are dark spots, I don’t think I will wake up if I lose consciousness again…

I hear the key in the door… Shit, don’t tell me he has come back to finish the job, I try to crawl away… the door flies open, and there are people in my house…

How did they get a key? A pretty black lady is checking me over... ‘My baby is upstairs,’ I whisper to her, ‘save my Rosie please.’

I sink into the welcoming darkness, if this is death, I accept it. As I fade out a male voice howls ‘Mate’

*Author's Note... if you are in a relationship and your partner undermines you, constantly puts you down and / or hits you that is domestic violence. Please reach out to services such as Women's Aid... Because you are valuable and you don't deserve to be mistreated.*