Chapter 18

I want to feel the love.

I opened my eyes the next morning feeling like I had lost feeling in the lower part of my body. I couldn’t move.
"Morning," the fairy nurse said, entering my room. "How are we feeling today?"
"Fine, great," I replied. "I feel oddly restrained."
"Oh, sorry, dear, we charmed you yesterday." She waved her hand.
I had my body back, and I was still sore, but the pain wasn't as bad. Nathaniel was nowhere to be seen and I was so happy to be alone. As the relief washed over me, I thought about the girls. I should have insisted that they stayed out of my idiotic ideas. Everyone was right. We should have waited for my father instead of walking into that old warehouse.
Five minutes later Dad entered the room, looking like he didn't get much sleep last night. And like his anger hadn't faded either.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, arching his eyebrows.
"Fine, my leg healed up well, and before you even start—I don’t need a lecture. I did what I thought was best."
“That's why you’re getting a police escort from now on."
"What?"
"You heard me. Two undercover police officers will be following you from now on," he said. "I have no choice; you just don’t listen when I say to stay out of trouble. And La Caz approves of my idea."
"I don’t need an escort, Dad. I can take care of myself," I muttered, feeling betrayed again. But the tiny voice in my head kept saying, You brought this on yourself.
Maybe Dad was furious about what I’d done, but I felt stupid for not listening to him.
He smiled. "Don’t be silly; it’s final," he said. "You shouldn’t blame yourself for Rufus’s disappearance."
"But I was right. Those guys were working for McGregor; we heard them talking about how he’s still in London."
“I'll take care of this. By the way, I need to take your statement, and your friends mentioned that a wizard killed those two other paranormals who attacked you?"
"Yeah, Jasper showed up. He saved my butt." I sighed. He wouldn't understand why Jasper kept coming back into my life.
"Jasper? He’s back in London?"
"I guess so, but you won’t find him. He’s too clever to talk to the police."
Our conversation was interrupted by Nathaniel, who walked in uninvited. He was wearing jeans and a blue shirt, looking hotter than ever. A violent tremor passed through my body when our eyes met.
Dad gave him a faint smile and cleared his throat.
"Mr. Taylor, I apologise for the intrusion," he said. "I came in to check on Julia."
"Don’t worry, La Caz. I was just leaving. I'm assuming that you will take my daughter home?"
"No, he won’t. I can get there by myself.".
"Of course, Mr. Taylor," Nathaniel said, completely ignoring me.
Dad kissed me on the cheek, whispering that I had to come home for dinner this weekend, and then left. I couldn't believe that he was happy leaving me with Nathaniel. What kind of parent does that?
I looked away as a long, uncomfortable silence settled between us.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, sitting on the chair next to my bed.
“What's it to you?"
"Fuck, Julia, why do you do that?" he asked, looking angry. "Everything was fine between us a few days ago. Civilised people talk to each other rather than throw themselves into life threatening situations."
"Well, civilised people don’t lie to each other, do they?" I asked as my energy started to boil, radiating through my skin.
He raised his left eyebrow. "Lie?"
“Don't pretend that you don’t know what I'm talking about," I said. "I know why Caleb hates you. Elena told me everything."
Nathaniel’s expression didn't change, but surprise flickered in his eyes. He exhaled, looking away. His scent was like a breath of fresh air, but he was still a liar and a man who fooled around with his best mate’s woman.
"I didn't lie to you."
"What? You’ve been lying since I met you. You stole the girl that he was in love with and now he’s looking for revenge." Maybe I was exaggerating, but if I hadn't seen Elena, Nathaniel would never have had to explain what happened between him and McGregor, because I would never have known.
Nathaniel shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned closer to me. "I didn't take anyone away from him. Have you not considered the fact that she might have just simply chose me?"
I didn't respond.
"How do I know that you’re not lying?"
"I have no reason to lie to you," he said, raising his voice. "If you’re willing to listen, I can explain.
He was way too close to me now. My body reacted, but I tried to act like I didn't care.
"I'm not scared of you, Nathaniel La Caz," I whispered, but my voice was too high. Sexual tension whipped between us, pulling us to each other.
"You might not be scared of me, but I know that you want me," he said, breathing into my neck, and then he sat back in his chair. “It's a lot to go through."
"Crack on, then," I growled, folding my arms together. "I'm sure my dad would also be interested to hear about this."
He sighed and sat back.
"We made a bet over Isabelle."
"Your fiancé?"
That word stuck in my throat. He’d been engaged to a human, so I didn't understand why he couldn’t commit to me.
"Yes, we both noticed her when she arrived at Oxford, and we were very competitive. All of my friends were vampires. I was wild then and I didn't care about the protocol. It was just after my mother died. I partied a lot, attacked and drank from many humans. Caleb and I became friends. His maker left him after he turned him, so he was extremely hungry for blood, and I just went with it."
"How could you be friends with someone like that?"
"We were both young and we had all that power. I looked up to him. We were both the best in our year," he explained.
I wasn't saying anything so he carried on.
"Isabelle was a fresher. We both wanted her, so we made a bet to ask her out on a date. She agreed to go out with both of us, but then she started dating me exclusively."
"I can’t believe this," I said, feeling disgusted more now than before.
"It was a stupid idea, but the consequences came after. Caleb knew that he couldn’t be with a human unless she knew who he was. No one knew about the bet, but she was the only girl that I was truly interested in—and not because of the bet. We dated for a while and at first, I thought that Caleb didn't care that he lost. He got bored of Uni and left."
Nathaniel stopped talking and I waited. There was more to it. I just knew it.
"What happened to him?"
"I don’t know. He left London and we lost contact. I calmed down, stopped partying and feeding on humans. I was crazy about Isabelle. She understood me and loved me unconditionally. After I graduated, I proposed to her and got on with my business. I never got in touch with Caleb again."
"But you didn't end up marrying her?"
A spasm of pain appeared on his face. Maybe I was pushing him too hard. Maybe I should’ve just left it alone, but I couldn’t; I had to know.
"A few years later, we went to France to visit my sister. We were going to get married in Paris. I was going to tell her the truth about what I was. I’d had enough of the lies. I wanted to be honest. What I didn’t know was that Caleb had kept track of Isabelle and me, stalking us. He hired a few paranormals to follow us. One night in Paris, I left her alone for a few hours. He’d been waiting until I left, and he broke into our apartment. He could never forgive the fact that she had chosen me."
I brought my hands to my mouth and gasped. "He killed her?"
Nathaniel shook his head. "She didn't die. No, this was so much worse than death."
My stomach contracted because I realised what he was talking about.
"He told her that I had been lying to her for so many years. She didn't understand until he turned her into a vampire," Nathaniel said, staring blankly at me. "He recorded everything. When I came back they were both gone."
Shock wreaked havoc throughout my body while I tried to process the idea of someone being that cruel.
"Oh, my god" I whispered.
"For two years I searched, but they were gone. I wanted to kill him, but he was a vampire and was surrounded by his powerful friends. When I finally found them, Isabelle nearly killed me. She became a monster. She defended him. Caleb convinced her that he wanted to tell her the truth all along; he wanted to give her the immortality from the moment they met. He taught her how to kill and how to enjoy this new life without sunlight. She was a good person but being a dark creature transforms you. You don’t understand compassion, you forget how your body used to respond to emotions. Isabelle’s previous life became a blur. She hated me because I didn't give her that chance, because I lied to her about who I was. Isabelle was the love of my life. I never thought that you could suffer like that just because of love. Mum died soon after Dad leaving. When I found Isabelle, I understood why my mother told me to stay away from this suffering emotion of love. I was too arrogant and too stubborn to understand when to let go. I had to pay because I refused to leave her alone.
He stopped talking and sat there unable to respond. I wished now that I hadn't been so stupid. Elena kept saying that she didn't know everything, and I just assumed that Nathaniel was the one to blame.
"You wanted to know. So, now you understand why I don’t like talking about this. McGregor desired her for himself; he couldn’t bear that she’d chosen me."
"Is she still alive?"
"I believe so. We haven’t seen each other since that day. She wasn't the same person after she was turned."
McGregor didn't have a soul. People told me that vampires were the most dangerous creatures that lived on the earth, but I never cared. Now I understood why my grandmother wanted me to stay away from Nathaniel.
"I would understand if you desired revenge."
"His business was flourishing, so I did everything in my power to destroy him, and in some respect, I succeeded," he said, smiling. "After my mother died, I was rotten, then Isabelle came and took all the pain away. I loved her."
“I'm sorry that I doubted you," I said and wrapped my arms around his body, burying my face in his neck. He didn't move, and he didn't hug me back.
“That's why I wanted to protect you. I wasn't planning to ever be involved with a woman again. Then you came along and ruined everything. Caleb hurt you because you were close to me. He won’t stop until he has you."
"I'm sorry."