Chapter 33

Clarifications.







I got used to the antiseptic smell in the hospital after a few days. I slept for hours trying to forget. When I woke up I felt emptier than I ever had before. The guilt hung on my chest like a heavy a handsaw. I kept telling myself that I was only protecting the people that I loved, but deep down, I was a killer. Dad looked like he was on the edge of nervous breakdown.
“It's over. Come on, Dad, you don’t have to worry anymore," I said, hoping that after three days of collecting evidence, worrying about what could have happened to me and cleaning up the mess, he would finally let go.
"You can’t trust anyone these days, absolutely anyone," he yelled. The nurse had reminded him three times already that he needed to be quiet. I couldn't take it anymore. He had to calm down otherwise I would start screaming.
"He was in McGregor’s pocket. You wouldn’t have known," I told him.
“That's the point, I should have known!"
He was stressed and tired of keeping me away from Mum. I sighed, ignoring the pain in my neck. I was slowly recovering. My shoulder was dislocated, my neck was nearly torn apart, and if not for Jasper, I would have been raped as well. I had to give that statement. There was a warrant issued for Jasper’s arrest. I owed him my life, but he needed mental help and he had to answer for his crimes. Police had been trying to track him down, but he vanished.
"We need to move on from this mess. We all just need to get back to normal."
Dad paced around the room, talking to himself. He had a lot on his mind; bodies had been piling up like bricks. His investigation was slowly moving forward, his neck was on the line.
Nathaniel was on the intensive care floor. His injuries were severe: he had broken wrists, ribs, and a concussion. He had deep wounds all over his body and he’d lost large amounts of blood. He was in bad shape. For over a week he wasn't allowed to have any visitors while the elves were trying to patch him up. I found out that McGregor sent his people for him. They nearly killed him. He was lucky that he survived that hell.
Rufus was in a much better state than Nathaniel. He had been kept in isolation for several months, but apart from scratches and deep cuts, he was recovering quickly enough. He was back on his feet within days, but he wasn't allowed to leave the hospital. I couldn't stop myself from being overly emotional when I finally saw him.
"Hey, boss, how are you feeling?" I asked, sitting in the chair next to his bed. His face was still swollen and bruised.
"Fine. I had my first decent meal in months and my wife doesn’t want to divorce me."
"I'm so sorry, Rufus." I started sobbing.
"Hey, what are you sorry for?" he asked, laughing. “I've never seen you cry. Come on, stop it; it’s disturbing."
“It's all my fault that you were kidnapped," I howled. He embraced me with his large arms.
“Don’t be silly," he said. "They would have taken me anyway. I should have known that it was a trap."
"If it wasn't for me, this wouldn’t have happened."
"I will fire you if you don’t stop talking nonsense," he said, raising his voice. I wiped my tears away, looking at his bruised face.
"I'm sorry," I repeated, blowing my nose. "Tell me what happened? Why didn't you go to the police?"
"I couldn't; they were watching me. I had to act quickly, so I sent my kids and Elena abroad to keep them safe. I was planning to talk to La Caz, but then Fiorillo called me asking me to meet him and I only went for old time sake. I should have known that they would bug his phone."
"They were waiting for you?"
"Yeah, Fiorillo was nowhere to be seen and then I was surrounded. I didn't stand a chance, but I think I killed one of them."
I dropped my head feeling sick.
"They took you away trying to gain information," I said. "I guess they were violent about it?"
"Don’t worry about it. It’s all in the past. They needed me, so they had to keep me alive."
Rufus explained what kind of information McGregor was trying to get out of him, but he was reluctant to tell me about the torture he was subjected to. Rufus never showed any weakness, but I couldn't even imagine what he had to go through while he was isolated for over three months.
"I wanted to live for Elena and for the kids, so I played tough. They were getting restless with me."
I wanted to ask more questions, but Elena arrived with Tommy and Jessica, so I took my leave.
Ella arrived later on. She stood in the entrance to my room, looking lost and unsure if she should enter. We both stared at each other in silence. Ella hated hospitals, but she was here for me and I was so glad to have her.
"Julia, I hope that you don’t mind that I came over?" she asked shyly, finally letting go of her fear. She looked much more like the Ella that I used to know. Her red hair was worn straight, her fake tan was back along with long nails and eyelashes.
“Don't be ridiculous, of course you can come over. You’re my best friend. How did you know that I was in the hospital?"
"I called your dad and he mentioned that you were going through a rough time."
She handed me a box of chocolate and sat in the chair next to me. An uncomfortable silence settled between us. I was so glad to see her; after this hellish week, I needed to feel normal.
"What happened to your face?" she asked.
“It's a very long story." I sighed.
"I want to hear it," she demanded.
"Are you sure? It’s all over now. It’s better to forget and just move on," I said, massaging the nape of my sore neck. Ella was making progress and I didn't want to scare her off.
"No, I'm fine, you can tell me. I won’t freak out.”
"Oh, Ella, I don’t know."
"Shut up and start from the beginning."
I swallowed the giant lump in my throat. Maybe she was ready to hear about McGregor and his master plan. She was part of the chain, witnessing the murder during the networking event. I didn't have to lie to her anymore. I took a deep breath and went through everything that happened after Ludwig Spencer was murdered. I told her about Rufus, Nathaniel, and the damp basement. It was hard to go through the part where I was nearly raped. Once I finished, she hugged me tightly.
"He saved you, after all that, he showed up?" she repeated. I knew how she felt about my ex-boyfriend. Now she probably hated him even more.
I nodded.
"I'm sorry that I’ve been such a bitch to you."
“It's not your fault. I lied to you."
"When you told me about who you were," she began, playing with her fingers, "I was afraid, I didn't want to go out. I had nightmares about that night."
"I should be the one apologising,” I said. “I had no idea that you would be immune to a memory spell. It all went wrong from there."
"I still don’t know what happened during that night. I feel sick when I try to remember."
Dad’s investigation hadn't revealed anything new. He had a couple of suspects but no one that he could charge with murder. Ella was the only witness, she was aware of bits and pieces, but we needed a description.
"Nathaniel hired a troll to look after me, and someone murdered him; you’re the only witness," I explained, chewing on my bottom lip.
"I feel like I have a hole in my head," she said, tensing her body.
I squeezed her hands and brushed her hair away from her face. She didn't need to go through that nightmare again, but Ludwig deserved justice and so far, no one had been arrested. McGregor’s rotten body was burning in hell, but the case was still open.
"Listen, we can try something if you want. I can help you remember."
She nodded, looking slightly taken aback by my words. "Okay, if that will help your father to find the killer."
I touched her hands and concentrated. "Close your eyes and imagine that you’re back in that room; try to remember small details like the smell, the noise, or the colours around you."
Ella squeezed her eyes and I waited. I didn't use magic, I didn't know if this would help her, but I had to try.
"I was trying to find the toilet. I was with Christina, but she was chatting up the waiter," Ella said, frowning. She tightened her grip. "Then I felt sick; the light was too bright. Someone was screaming."
She started shaking and I knew that I should stop.
"Open your eyes, Ella. It’s okay," I told her.
"I'm sorry it’s not working," she cried, sitting back. "I can only remember that odd cinnamon smell. Nothing else."
"Cinnamon?" I asked, frowning.
"Yes it’s that spicy, oriental fragrance and cinnamon, I think I recognise it but—"
"Jasper," I whispered, feeling all the blood rush to my ears, and I was pretty certain that I was going to collapse.
"Oh, my God, Julia, what’s going on? Should I call the doctor?"
I was so fucking stupid. I should have known that Jasper killed Ludwig. It was obvious all this time McGregor was talking about a wizard that had been helping him. Jasper had been sniffing around me, and he probably came to the networking event to talk to me, but the bodyguard must have stopped him. I had to keep Ella out of this nightmare; she couldn't know that it was Jasper she saw that night.
"No, I'm fine, "I replied, breathless. "I was a little dizzy."
"You said something about Jasper."
"He saved me so I kind of owe him, you see."
Ella wasn't stupid but she didn't know that Jasper was a killer. Her memories were in pieces. When the nurse came in announcing that visiting hours were over I was relived. Ella left, and I kept staring at the wall wondering why I hadn't figured it out earlier. Jasper was unpredictable, but I couldn't believe that he was capable of murdering an innocent man. Ella had recognised his cologne but I wasn't fully convinced. Maybe he was there that night and he lost control. Maybe he killed Ludwig accidentally. I hated his guts and I hated that I had learned the truth.
***
After a few weeks, life went back to normal, well, as normal as it could get. Rufus went back to work acting like he hadn't just suffered through any trauma. I was just glad to be busy in the office, knowing that McGregor was dead.
Nathaniel recovered well, but since that terrible evening we had been growing apart. He threw himself into his busy schedule, forgetting about me and his responsibilities in London. He left the country as soon as he was back on his feet. His business in Geneva was flourishing. I assumed that he still couldn't come to terms with everything that went on with McGregor, so I left him to deal with his own pain. I kept telling myself we both needed space after such a trauma, but I was disappointed that he ran away.
I spent more time with Nicky, babysitting her kids and pretending I was happy that way. Kelsie kept dragging me to wild parties hoping I would snap out of my depressing mood. It was soon clear that Nathaniel didn't want to rebuild what we had. Kate was there for me, as always, assuring me that everything would be back to normal soon. I believed her, at least I hoped that I did.