Chapter 39

A month and a half have passed since my life was changed by a simple statement. A statement that tied my life to another fate different from what I had envisioned for myself. What I wanted didn't matter anymore. I was a slave to routine.

When you think of going jail, you might assume all you do ,all day is stay in a confined space and you are not allowed leave. Okay some part of that statement is correct but not all of it. I had the same thought. I thought people in prison, sleep all day and were let out of the cells only during meals.

Well that was what I expected but it was the total opposite. We are supposed to wake up early, do our tasks or chores and then go to learn. Not the normal studying in school, no. We are taught manual labor. Things like sewing, metal work, repairing cars ,making furnitures , gardening and so many other things.

Some inmates were enrolled in the normal school, especially if you didn't have a chance to finish primary school or highschool. Since education was free all over the country, they were also given a chance to study and get their papers. Incase you are finished with your sentence at least you will have papers to help you find a job.

I think it is very noble to give someone another crack at life. Most people became criminals because they didn't have a way to provide for themselves. I am not justifying most crimes but some crimes like stealing were done mostly out of desperation.

Once you are integrated into prison life ,the high ranking guards go through our personal files and determine which career choice is best for you. At first I was put in sewing for a few days before I was suddenly transferred to gardening. When I asked about it I was told shut up and do as I am told. They also went ahead to comment that I shouldn't have stolen money from Marcus.

They knew his name. I realize the trial was public but I didn't think it would be this bad ,that people will recognize me so easily. Most of the guards already knew my name for some reason. And they kept teasing and insulting me for my bad choices. Choices I didn't make.

Since I was a little girl I had a plan, go to school work hard, pass go to a good highschool - pass and then go to medical school. After medical school, I thought maybe I will meet someone special and fall in love. Get kids after three to four years of enjoying each other's company.

That was my plan. However along the way the plan has changed. Now I will be wasting twenty years of my life rotting while life passes by. It causes me physical pain when I think of the person I have become.

Crutching to my knees, I removed all the weeds I had gathered and threw them at one place. After I am done I will take them to the pit . Everytime I saw this farm I felt like I was in hell. I hated gardening with every fiber of my being and yet somehow they knew this and they are punishing me with it.

I thought being eight months pregnant will make them feel pity for me and give me an easier job but boy was I wrong. Instead of giving me a chore that I will be able to stay off my feet, they gave me one that had me on my feet all day. By the time evening came I was dizzy and too tired to eat.

That was my punishment. At some point I wondered if the warden knew Marcus because they is no way they can do this to a pregnant woman. All the other pregnant women were given the simplest jobs except me.

Everyday after work I fall on my bed and sleep. It didn't matter that the mattress was too stiff and the pillow was uncomfortable. None of that mattered when I was too tired to open my eyes.

My cellmate Mary was the best. She works in the kitchen, so she hides some food for snacking later and she always ends up giving it all to me. I was skeptical at first but when I came to know her better ,she was the sweetest person ever.

I know you are wondering how can she be sweet when she is in jail? Well her situation is quite different. She took the blame for something - she has never told me in details what- and they paid her handsomely. She told me she didn't care if she had to stay in this walls for ten years as long as her children were taken care of.

She was paid enough to ensure her children's future. They would be able to go to the most expensive schools and universities. I guess I understood that kind of sacrifice. I had a child of my own to take care of.

" Zee, you have a visitor" said one of the inmates.

I dropped my jembe, clapped my hands to get rid of the dirt and gave it to my senior.  In prison every tool assigned to you is supposed to be returned at the end of the day. If you don't well... It's bad, that's all I know. She checks my name of the list and allows me to leave the farm area.

I washed my dirty hands at the tap before I followed a guard to the visiting area. I haven't been here even once. They refused to let my family see me. I didn't understand why but I let it be. I didn't want to start making enemies when I had nineteen years and ten months to go.

The heavy metal door was unlocked and I was allowed to pass. Sitting on the waiting area was John. He didn't look any different.

" Hey Zee, sit down please" he said.

I sat opposite him, when I noticed there were two guards in the room with us.

" Hey John ,how are you?" I asked

" I am good ,Zuri and the baby are doing good too" he answered

" I am glad. So what brings you to this side of heaven?" I teased him

" Have you been eating?" He asked instead of answering my question.

" Yes I have . Why?"

" Zee you have lost alot of weight and that is not good for a pregnant woman"

" I can't do anything about that. I eat what I am given" I said in a soft voice

" Fuck! That monster" he hit his hand on the table making the guards come closer.

" Everything is okay" he tried telling them.

They asked me to stand up, inspected around us until they were satisfied ,then they went back to their corners.

" What brings you here John?" I asked

" I came to see you first of all"

" Okay"

" Second as your lawyer I had to tell you about a procedure that will be performed on you tomorrow morning"

" What kind of procedure?"

" A DNA paternity test"

" So he finally wants to know whether the child I am carrying is his"

" Yes also somethings have happened to him recently, pushing him to do this"

" What kind of things?"

" I am not at liberty to say. "

" Okay Mr lawyer" I chuckled

" I know it's a stupid question to ask but I will ask anyway. How is prison?"

" Well... It's different from what I expected but not as bad as I had anticipated "

" No one is beating you up or anything like that?"

" No, no. Nothing like that"

" Are they giving you special treatment because of your condition?"

I looked at the guards listening to our conversation before I answered.

" Yes, they are abit linient with me" I said nervously.

" I feel relieved now that I know that. Zuri and I were worried that you are not taking care of yourself"

" Don't worry about me ,I will be okay. Where will the the test be performed?"

" You will be transported outside the prison to a hospital chosen by Marcus. They will preform the process in his presence"

" You mean he will be there?"

" Yes, he insisted on being there so that no one tampers with the results"

"I don't have a choice ,do I?"

" No. I am sorry Zawadi" he said apologetically

" No ,it's all right. I knew this day would come" I mumbled.

" I will also be present . I want you to be as comfortable as possible."

" Thank you, I would feel much better with you around."

" You don't have to thank me"

" But I will anyway"

" I have to go now but take care of yourself and see you tomorrow at the hospital" he said before he left me alone.

I sucked in a gulp of air before I left the room. I felt tears threaten to fall but I stopped myself. No one can see me crying here. I tried to go back to the farm since it was still early but I was instructed to go and rest before my big day tomorrow.

'How considerate of them' thought sarcastically.