Risking The Dignity Of A Queen

"What? Your highness. Tis me, Hector. Your handmaiden."

She blinked, then pursed her lips and moved away from him. "Why? Does that make me not worthy?"

His brows furrowed? Not worthy? How could the queen not be worthy of him? It was, if anything, the other way sround.

"Your highness...that is not what I meant to say. Just that..."

"It should be you." The Queen said, then backed him, as the nervous tears filled her eyes. She dreaded his response, but his hesitation was killing her even more. Why could he not just answer 'yes your highness' like he did to an impossible job of getting those books in fifteen minutes? Was marrying her an even more formidable thing than that?

"Your highness."

"It can only be you." She said again, as if he didn't say anything. "For the first time in my life, I actually want something. I was not asked my consent to be born a queen. To have to restrain myself when I actually want to yell. But, I... never wanted to be a maid either. Till that day."

She took a deep breath and turned back to him, blinking the tears away as she raised her head high. "You have to marry me."

"Your highness."

She shook her head. "That is not how you answer. You answer with, 'yes, your highness.' The way you always do."

"But..." He started to say.

Her gaze hardened as she waited for the opposition. She has expected it, anyway.

"Your highness, I am merely your servant. How can a lowly servant like me be worthy of your hand in marriage? When every eligible bachelor in this country and beyond want you for themselves? How dare I?"

How can he want her? Worst was, he didn't even want her. He wanted Lana. But what if he didn't factor Lana? She was still not a woman he could take as a wife. She was above him, now and forever.

"Does my opinion not matter in my own marriage? Are the vortices I feel not enough to upset whatever predestined pattern have been drawn ahead of me to follow?"

He swallowed. Her eyes were wide and angry, her hands balled into fists. She kept squeezing her hand harder, as if trying to keep her emotions in check.

Hector bowed his head, then slowly went down on his knees. She watched him, a tear escaping her left eyes, her lips slightly apart. She was like a beautiful sonnet with misplaced lines, bleeding of all the things she had strived all of her life to live down, or change.

"I apologize, your highness. I am sorry." He shook his head. "I can't do this. Your husband..is a strong king waiting somewhere else. Not me, or any one of my likeness."

She closed her eyes and bit down on her lower lip. "Stand."

"I am sorry, but I would like to kneel here, so you can see where I actually belong. At your feet, your highness."

She lightly pounded on her lap with her balled fists, then suddenly dropped in front of him, coming face to face with him.

"I am not a Queen who drops to her knees." She said, shaking her head. "I am not a queen who begs. I am not a Queen who stoops low. I am graceful, I am majestic. And I believe..." She let her voice trail off as she moved closer, her palms facing the floor. "I believe...all of that...my majesty...my grace, poise...I...it can all belong to you."

He looked up, his eyes meeting hers again. Hers were glassy, sure, his confused, hiding a turbulent storm behind them.

She raised her palms to his face, and calmly placed them on each side of his face, her eyes darting from both of his. It was like she needed to catch every minute expression, and all she saw was hesitation. All she saw was confusion.

She swallowed. She never once believed anything would make her nervous, much less a man. But here she was, the hands she had held his face with, trembling a little, her lips quivering as she gazed down at him.

"I believe..." She said, her voice surprisingly calm. It was way calmer than she felt, way calmer than the beating of her heart was. "That...you could be the one to rule this kingdom with me. That you could be...the one I spend the rest of my life with."

He watched her as she slowly leaned toward him, a small smile on her face, yet the cautiousness embedded deeply in her eyes.

He was too confused to move. Too startled to react on time or stop her as she leaned in, her hands on either side of his face, and took his lips in a small, slow, cautious kiss. The kind of kisses that were as delicate as rain clouds. A small push could get it anywhere, a small movement could ruin it.

Her lips fluttered like a feather against his, as she showed no desperation in showing him how she felt, with less words and more actions, slow action, that even though unwilling had him kneeling there, his eyes closed.

She slowly pulled away from him, her hands still on his face. She moved only far away to allow her see his eyes. "I am risking...my dignity as a queen." She shook her head as she bit on her lip. "Don't make me regret it."

She pulled away, then stood up, her long royal blue gown following after her. She left her scent filling his nostrils even after she left him kneeling there.

"I will not apologize for that. And...you can answer me comes sunrise. I will wait for it."

She turned away, and went back to the library, closing the door behind him.

He sat there, his knees unable to keep him on his kneeling position. What had just happened? The queen? Marriage? What of Lana? What of the dreams he had with her?

He touched his lips lightly, his hand shaking, as if he was scared of his own lips. Had the queen really just kissed him? He turned towards to the library where she had gone to. He felt like a heavy weight was on his chest as he pulled himself up, and walked away from her chambers, wishing he could leave everything he had heard and felt back there.