CHAPTER 12: Lighting up the room...

Celeste
I sit there looking into the face I once thought I was in love with when he was a boy. This face is different, though. It is a man's face. Looking back at me are deep blue eyes, a sharp square jaw, and chiseled cheekbones. Gorgeous dimples accentuate the whole thing. My favorite part, as it always had been, is his big bright smile. That smile always warms my heart. Now, even though I am looking at his face, I can't help but notice his body had turned into a man's body too. Everything on him is rock - hard and perfect. Okay, back to reality, Celeste. Sigh. "Ajax, I have never hated you. You and your dad were there for us during the worst time in our lives. I will always hold you two in my heart for that. Who knows? Maybe that's why I thought what I felt for you back then was the beginning of love. Maybe it was just respect and appreciation."
He looks sort of sad, almost regretful. "I really am sorry I hurt you back then, Celeste. I definitely could have handled the situation better. I was young, though. I have grown up since then, I promise."
"Hahah. Well, I would hope so. It was twelve years ago. If you hadn't grown up a little, there would be bigger problems than your maturity level to look into."
And there's that warm smile. "I guess you're right. I would like the chance to show you. How do I get that chance?"
I bit my lip and look down, already feeling a little guilty about what I'm about to say. "I don't know. When we were kids, after that night, I convinced myself that my feelings were just misplaced. I told myself that I was just thankful for your kindness and interpreted that as affection. I let the thought of us being together go, right then and there. I wouldn't know how to get it back."
At this, Ajax looks like he goes into deep thought mode. For a minute he just stares off, brows knitted. All of a sudden, he looks up at me and smiles. "Do you remember when we were about sixteen, and you told me about how your mom always wanted to take a trip to see the northern lights with your dad?"
"Of course. They would have been away for an extended amount of time, so she wanted to wait until I left for college. Why?"
"When you told me that, you also told me that since she didn't get to, you wanted to fulfill that dream for her. With the man you love."
What in God's name is he getting at here? "Well, yeah, but I'm not in love with anyone, Ajax."
He stands up and holds his hand out to me. I take it, with reluctance. He pulls me over to a part of the balcony that has a roof, and drops my hand. He smiles that smile at me and raises his hands toward the roof. In a few seconds, colored lights start to slowly roll across the roof. He looks over at me while I'm marveling, mouth agape, at the lights. "It's not the real thing, but hopefully one day, you'll feel real love for me and we can see the real ones. Together."
I feel heat flood my chest. And my eyes. At that moment, I can't stop myself.

Ajax
As I look at her shocked expression, I see her eyes get misty. Oh shit! Maybe I fucked up. Maybe all I did was make her sad. Maybe... Oomph! At that moment, she launches herself against my chest, wrapping her arms around me. I, instinctively, wrap mine around her too. She buries her face in my chest. Her body feels so small in my arms, and despite the chilly fall air, warmth radiates from her. "Celeste? Are you okay? I didn't mean to — "
"Thank you, Ajax," she says, cutting me off. "Maybe you aren't quite the asshole I thought you were." I see her smile, that heart - stopping smile against my chest, and I tighten my arms around her. I hear a chuckle when I do. "Don't get excited there, buddy. I said you aren't quite, I didn't say you were completely absolved."
"Hey! It's a start. I am not opposed to hard work, especially when the reward is this good."
"Flattery will get you nowhere, Mr. Barton."
"Not flattery, Ms. Torelli. Truth."
She pulls away from my chest and takes a step back. I instantly miss her warmth. She looks up at the lights one more time, and then back at me with a smile. I smile back at her, and against my will say, "It's getting late. You should get to bed. I'll clean this up."
She nods and starts to walk away, but stops as she puts her hand on the doorknob. She takes a deep breath, then turns her head to look at me. "Ajax?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you. You have no idea how much this meant to me." She gestures upward with her eyes as she says this.
My smile is so big, I'm afraid my face is going to crack. "You're welcome, Celeste." With one final wave of her hand, she retreats inside.
I don't know how long I stood there staring at that door, but it feels like a long time. When I finally come back to earth, I raise my hand to kill the lights. I gather up our little picnic, and head inside. My heart is still racing. I don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight. I do know one thing, though. I passed up a chance with Celeste once. I won't do it again.