CHAPTER 18: Date 1...

Ajax
"I'd like the lunch date today if that's okay."
"Sure. Pick me up at my room at noon?" Celeste says with a smile.
I look at my watch. "So that gives me over an hour? I can work with that. I'm going to go ahead and step out while you're finishing up. Is that okay?"
"Of course. I'll see you in a bit."
I leave Celeste's room and head straight for the kitchen. My initial thought is to take her for a picnic so that we can have some quiet, private time. First, I need to toast thick slices of baguette for the bruschetta. While that works I make the bruschetta itself. I put a simple antipasto platter together in some Tupperware and some sliced fruit in another. I wrap the bread in a cloth napkin and take out the picnic basket. I pack all the food, a couple bottles of water, a bottle of wine, and dinnerware. After I'm all packed up, I take the basket out to the car. I take one last look at my watch. Good, I still have twenty - five minutes. I have time to go back to my room and change clothes. I'll grab a blanket too. I can't believe one little date is making me this nervous.
About five minutes before noon I knock on Celeste's door. She opens the door and my heart stops. She has her hair and makeup done. She's wearing a light sweater dress, the color of the ocean, tan leggings, brown knee - high leather boots, and a smile that's sexier than all of it. "Wow, Celeste, you look amazing."
"Thank you, Ajax. You don't look so bad yourself. Let me grab my jacket and we can go."
"Great." I bet I'm grinning like an idiot right now. Anyone would be if they were watching Celeste from behind walk across the room to get her jacket in that dress. Fuck me, it's going to be hard to concentrate on conversation today. We finally make it downstairs, into the car, and we're off.
"So where are we going today?" Celeste says from the passenger seat.
"Well, I know you want this date to focus on getting to know each other better, so I planned a picnic at Lake Isabelle. It's nice and quiet. I made some finger foods to nibble on while we talk too. Is that okay?"
"Oh, Ajax, that sounds perfect!" Man, I love the way my name sounds on her lips. Like it belongs there.
We get to the parking lot at the lake in about fifteen minutes. I grab the supplies and open Celeste's door. "It's just a five - minute walk to the area that I chose for the picnic. Will you be okay with the walk in those shoes?"
"I'll be fine. They are very comfortable. Thanks, though."
We are fairly silent on the way there, just taking in our surroundings. We finally arrive and I lay the blanket out. Celeste takes a seat with her legs stretched out in front of her, facing the lake. I start unpacking the basket right away.
"Wow, how did you have time to do all of this?"
"Well, Celeste, I'll have you know I'm a very impressive man." She brings her hand to her mouth to try, unsuccessfully, to hide her giggle. "And so humble too."
"Oh, that goes without saying." It's hard to keep my fake serious face, but I somehow manage, which only makes her laugh harder.
After I've unpacked everything we dig in. It's all delicious, of course. We spend the next hour eating, and talking about nothing in particular. Just idle small talk. I take this opportunity to study the curves of her face. The sleek soft lines of her exposed neck. Everything about her is so beautiful. Inside and out. "So, Celeste, I don't think you wanted these dates for just good company. There are things you want to ask me. Right?"
She takes a sip of her wine, and then looks down at her lap for a moment before meeting my eyes. "You're right. I guess, for starters, what do you want from me?"
"Just jumped right in, didn't you. Well, I want a relationship with you. A real one that we can build on."
Celeste grins slightly, but it doesn't reach her eyes. "I thought you didn't want a family, you know, wife, kids, house in the burbs, all that."
"I've always thought I would get married someday, I just never wanted kids."
"Ajax, having kids is a big part of what I want for my future. I want to carry on my species, but I also just really want to be a mother."
"I decided that a long time ago, Celeste. I had never been in love. I certainly had never been married. I feel like things change when you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. The things you want for your life change. I never told you the reason I decided I didn't want kids, did I?"
"No, I guess I just assumed it was because you wanted to keep your freedom and bachelorhood intact."
"It was actually when your mom passed away. I watched your dad go through so much pain when you weren't around. When he was with you, though, he put on a strong face to help you through it. I'm not as strong a person as your dad. I didn't want to leave that burden on my wife if I passed unexpectedly, and I knew I would never be a good - enough parent to do what he did if it was my wife that passed. I decided right then to spare my child of my weakness."
"Wow. Ajax, I had no idea."
"I know. I didn't want to make things worse for you at the time. You were going through enough." I keep my gaze focused on the lake. If I look at her right now, I'm going to want to hold her.
"Hey, look at me," she says, her voice dripping with concern.
"I can't."
The next thing I know, I feel her hands on my cheeks turning my head toward her. Damn it! Her face is so close and she smells so good. "You were just a kid. You can't be expected to deal with that situation the same way my father did. You kind of did, though, if you think about it."
"What are you talking about?"
"You did the same thing for me that my father did. You just didn't realize it."
"How?"
"That one incident impacted your future. You didn't want to have kids because of it. Instead of telling me all this back then, you decided to bear the burden of it yourself. You could have come to me to talk through it, but instead, you put on a strong face so that you could help me with my problems. You pushed your own problems to the side to help me when I needed it."
"I assure you, I was not that noble. I just didn't want to make things worse. If I told you about my fears, you would have known how hard a time your dad was having too. If he didn't want you to know, then it wasn't my place to tell you."
"You are going to be a great father someday, if that's what you decide you want. You are kind and understanding. The fact that you thought about all of that, and decided to give up having a family because you thought it was in their best interest shows you are self - sacrificing. You have to do what you think is right, but I think a child would be lucky to have you as a father. A wife would be lucky to have you as a husband. I was lucky to have you as a friend all those years ago, when I needed one the most. You're a good man, Ajax. Don't doubt yourself so much."
I stare into her eyes, amazed at the kindness and compassion in her heart. The world dealt her such a shitty hand all those years ago. She really needed her mom during that time in her life. She could probably use some motherly advice right now, because of this situation we have put her in too. She didn't let it jade her though. She persevered. She is amazing. I try to form the words to answer her, but I can't. I guess she can see that in my face, because she smiles a big beautiful smile at me. That broke me. I'm telling you, that smile could stop wars and move mountains. A guy like me? I stand no
chance against it. I can't hold back anymore. I put my hand on her face and pull it to mine. Before I know what's happening, I've sealed her lips with mine. They're so soft. I feel her whole body tense up for just a moment. I'm afraid I've made a mistake, but then she relaxes into my kiss. It's sweet and tender at first, but quickly turns hungrier. Both of us seeking out the other with fervor. Our tongues entwine together, breath turning ragged. Oh god, if I don't stop now, I won't be able to at all. I slowly, and hesitantly, pull away. "Wow, okay. If I don't take you home soon, I might keep you here the entire trip."
She giggles at my huge smile. "Celeste, listen. I really do want to be with you. I think we could be really happy together, but the most important thing is that you do what is going to make you happy. I couldn't live with myself if I thought I guilted you into being with me. Your happiness means more to me than my own."
"Thank you, Ajax. If I choose to be with you it's because I really want to be. I hope that if I don't, though, that we can always be friends."
"Well, it may make me throw up to see you with one of those two, but I'll do my best." She smiles at me before giving me a hug.
We pack everything up and head to the car. This is an amazing day. We get to the car and start heading back to the house. "Thank you for today, Celeste. Even if it's the only one I ever get like it, I'm am lucky to have had it."
"Don't thank me. You are the reason today was so great. I will always treasure it, so thank you." We finally get back to the house, and I reluctantly let her go back to her room. If I don't end up with this woman, she will be the one that all the others get compared to. Tall order.