Chapter 30

“Um…” Clarissa curls her loose wavy hair behind her ears. “Can you show me where the bathroom is?”

“I can show you.” Gabby, who was standing nearby, responds.

“Oh..” She takes a few nervous steps back. She was sorta determined to get Jacob away from Beth.

“Watch where you’re going…” Jacob warns.

Tingles flooded her belly as she shifted her gaze to his serious one. There was something about the way he was watching her, a worried stern look, and something about the way he spoke to her. She didn’t know. She had no idea what “Huh…” She took another step back and there wasn’t ground where she placed her foot. She fell back first into the pool. Luckily, no one was in that area. She barely had time to struggle for the surface when she was lifted above the water.

The kids had stopped playing, and the adults had stopped talking, all of their eyes were focused on the pool with their mouths ajar. The sight they were seeing was Jacob cradling Clarissa and rising out of the water effortlessly. His jeans and a crisp green shirt were soaked and pasted to the ridges of his stomach, her fingers clutched his shoulder, and her face hid in his chest.

“It’s only four foot of water bro…” his brother-in-law Mark announced and laughter started around them.

The family begins to make fun of Jacob’s heroic qualities and his unnecessary panic. They teased and joked while the two amusingly gaze at each other.
He then carried her to the edge and set her on the tile. His palm automatically reaches her cheek. “You okay?” He inquires.

Her lungs filled feeling his soft touch and her insides liquified at the scene of his soft gaze. What was happening to her suddenly? She nods.

He releases a breath as he puts down his hand and then climbs out. Once completely above the water and standing up, he extends his hand and pulls her up.

They were led inside by Sara, who gave fresh clothes and showed them where the drier, and a room to change was. They both entered into the guest bedroom where Clarissa goes into the bathroom first.

She removes her dress and covers her body with the soft texture of a black and red striped romper. When she comes out she sees him unbuttoning his shirt. Unexpectedly she insisted. “Let me help you.”

He freezes upon hearing her and his brows nearly touch in confusion.

She neared, laid her graceful touch, and undoes the buttons with high concentration, one by one until she gets to the last one. As she lifted her head and met his eyes she realized he was scrutinizing her. His penetrating gaze beat down on her like the first heavy rainfall of the spring. They locked eyes as if in trance. She glides her hands up to his collar and peels his wet shirt off his shoulder. So powerful his gaze, that she had to ask. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking.” He blinks his squinting eyes slowly. “That I wish I had the right to touch you the way I used to... more than that... I wish you wanted me to.”

She drops her hands regretfully and turns away.

After grinding his teeth in a moment of regretting as well, he grabs his clothes and enters the bathroom.

Clarissa was so confused about her feelings. Things were sprouting in her she never thought she would ever feel again. After finding out that Jacob wasn’t a pathological liar and cheater, she really hadn’t contemplated how she felt about it all, or if it changed anything for her. She was in a place of anger for so long. Him telling her that he didn't love her anymore and breaking up their home the way he did, weren't things she could easily forget. She thought it best that they were friends, but things were stirring within her and she was losing control of her sensibility.

He came out after a few minutes in black jeans and a crisp white shirt. She was sitting on the bed with her legs crossed. “You alright?” He asks while buttoning his sleeves.

“How does it feel to see the girl who broke your virginity after all these years?” She couldn’t stop herself, it was like her lips and vocal cords stopped listening to the commands of her brain. She shouldn’t be asking him this.

One of his brows elevates. “Excuse me?”

“You know, Beth… how did it feel, seeing her after all this time?

He shrugs. “I couldn’t tell you because I didn’t feel anything.”

“Oh come on.” She instigates. “You don’t remember your first time…” she rises slowly and approaches him in an almost seductive manner. His transfixed gaze locked on her as she continued. “I know you do. There’s nothing like your first time.” She reaches inches before him and stills.

“Oh yeah…” he coaxed. “Tell me more…”

She glances away in awareness. Mental images of her first time enter both their minds.

She cleared her throat. “Tell me about yours.”

“Everything is a blur before you... but I’ll tell you what I remember as clear as day... your first time.”

She takes a step back and glances at her fiddling fingers uncomfortably.

He runs his fingers through his hair and slides his hands into his pockets. “Clair, what is this about? What is the point you’re trying to make here?” She was behaving so oddly and confusing the hell out of him.

Her eyes squeeze shut. “I…”

“What? I must want her?”

“No, I…” she shakes her head.

He cuts her off. “Because you know what I want.”

“I…”

“And do you have no faith in me?” He interrupted again?”

“No… I do…”

“Then what are you getting at? What are you doing? Really?”

She curves her hair behind her ears and bites her lips. “I guess... I don’t like how close she was to you.”

His brows shoot up in surprise.

“Don’t look at me like that.” She orders. “I don’t think it’s appropriate for her to be flirting while you’re reconnecting with your family.”

“Beth is married.” He withdraws matter of factly and folds his arms. “We didn’t speak a word to each other, at which point was she flirting? And with her husband being opposite to me at the table.”

“She’s married?” Her jaw drops.

He nods. “I think she has two kids as well, around Emmie and Matthews' age.”

She shakes her head. “I didn’t know.” God, what was she thinking? What got into her to just assume because she was close to him that she was trying to get him back?

He steps forward and rests his strong grasp on her shoulders. “What’s going on? Huh… Are you uncomfortable?”

She shakes her head.

“Tell me…” He lays a hand on her jaw and cheek and tilts her head to meet his worrisome gaze. “You have been the hardest person to read. Just tell me what's wrong so I can stop guessing.”

Her eyes involuntarily shift to his mouth. Suddenly, his every touch, his every breath and move, she was aware of. She was aware of where his warmth seeped into her skin and the soft survey of his eyes. She felt as if her body was screaming for him and had been for a long time, only now she could hear it over the echoes of doubts and reasons because they were starting to fade.

A knock at the door interrupted them. She took the opportunity to grab the wet clothes and opened the door. It was Sara just wanting to check-in.

Jacob was stunned for a few seconds. He contemplated what he saw in Clarissa’s expression. He wanted to believe that he saw desire but wasn’t so sure, he could never be sure with her. He follows his sister back outside where he found it hard to have a conversation or focus on much of anything other than Clarissa. He kept finding her no matter where she was, and more often than not, she was looking at him too. He couldn’t help but wonder what was happening between them. Could it be possible, or should he even entertain the thought that she might want him? His insides soared just thinking about it.

After a few hours and nightfall, they loaded in the truck and left for home. Jacob glanced into the rearview mirror and noticed all of his children had fallen asleep. Clarissa laced her fingers together and kept her head in the direction of the window. Just earlier they were comfortable and at ease with each other and their new friendship was blossoming but now the air was saturated with awareness. There was a shift and they both felt it.

“Are you going to tell me what that was all about?” He questions as he strokes his chin and shifts lanes.

She wasn’t going to pretend she didn’t know what he was talking about by asking. She glances down at her joined hands and clears her throat. “I guess... I was jealous.”

His neck snaps her way. “What?”

She releases a breath. She didn’t know what to say so she looked back out the window up at the bright almost full moon.

“Why?” He presses.

Without looking at him she answers. “I guess because… things are in such a good place for us I just don’t want it to change.”

If disappointment was a color, he would have been midnight blue. “Don’t worry, nothing or no one could ever be more important than you and my children to ever change what we’ve got going here.” He smiles and she smiles back.

It took a lot out of him to put on that smile but did for her.

~~~~~