Chapter 120: Grace
I awoke with a gasp, my body flailing in an upward direction.
“Hey, hey,” Rhys’ familiar voice met my ear as his arms snaked around my waist, stabilizing and comforting me all at once. “You’re okay. Everything is okay.”
I leaned away from him as a dizzying sensation took over, and I felt my stomach churn.
“Can someone grab a-”
But throw up waits for no one, and I puked all over the floor. My body was in more pain than I ever remembered being in. It was like a pulse of energy almost that I couldn’t control in the slightest.
“Never mind...” Rhys called out; his voice so loud in my ears as he pulled the hair out of my face till I was done.
“Too loud.” I told him as I sank back into the bed.
“Is she aw-” Sawyer’s voice called out, but he stopped dead in his tracks as he looked at the scene in front of him. “Ah, okay. I see. Lemme just grab a trashcan, and something to clean that up, then I’ll check her vitals.”
I closed my eyes trying to block out the dizziness. If I had known I was going to wake up feeling this awful, I would have never chosen to wake up at all.
“Where am I?” I asked Rhys when I could open my mouth without chucking everywhere.
My eyes were still closed, but I knew Rhys well enough to sense his relief fade to confusion and worry, and that his frown was back on his face.
“At the cabin, still. We just moved the bed down, so you’d be more comfortable. Do you not remember being here?” His tone laced with worry.
“I do.” I answered. “Just wanted to make sure I wasn’t dreaming again.”
I could feel Rhys’ confusion through the bond, but I didn’t feel like explaining to him everything that had happened to me quite yet. Not when I felt this shitty.
“Gracie, I’m so sorry,” Rhys’ voice broke, and I opened my eyes despite the dizziness to look at him. His eyes were red with bags under them. He looked utterly dejected and exhausted. He didn’t in any way look like the Alpha King I knew he was.
“Why?” I asked in confusion.
“I almost killed you.” He stated in horror that I would even ask that.
“My choice.” I told him, closing my eyes again as Sawyer came back over to us and the spinning room made me want to hurl again.
“You don’t understand...” Rhys pleaded with me.
“No.” I told him. “I’m here. I’m okay.”
That was too much for Rhys apparently. He broke down, burying his head in my neck, his tears soaking my ripped shirt.
Wait. Ripped? Damn. I liked this shirt too. That was a disappointing realization.
“Grace? Can you open your eyes for me so I can start my exam?” Sawyer asked.
“Not unless you want me to throw up on you.” I told him, feeling that an exam was unnecessary at this point. I was alive and that’s what mattered.
“Dizzy?” He asked in surprise.
“Very.”
“Pain level out of 10?”
“8.5.”
“That high?” Again he sounded surprised.
A large part of me wanted to lie because Rhys was so distraught, I didn’t want to add to it, but there was no real point in lying right now. It was obvious, at least I thought it was, that I was not in good condition.
“Yes.”
“Where?”
“Everywhere. And you’re too loud.”
Sawyer ignored my last comment and placed his cold stethoscope touched my chest, and it took all I had not to jump away from it. He seemed satisfied with whatever he heard because next I felt the blood pressure cuff go around my arm, and he moved the stethoscope to go under it.
“Well, the good news is all your vitals are completely stable,” Sawyer stated as I heard him dig through his bag.
“Did the ritual work?” I asked.
“It appears so,” Sawyer answered sort of reluctantly. “I see no signs of any bindings. You both are lucky it worked.”
“Good.” I answered. “That’s good.”
“Come on, let’s go ease your pain with a bath,” Rhys said, his voice husky with exhaustion.
I nodded and he scooped me up carefully. The bath soothed a lot of my pain, and getting clean made me feel even better. I’m convinced hot water is healing.
Rhys asked me what I needed, and I told him I just needed to sleep, and that’s what I did for 2 more days. By day three, I was feeling almost completely normal. As much Rhys had wanted a little getaway, I don’t think he expected for us to stay that long at the cabin. But he stayed by my side the whole time. I woke up several times as he was handling work things, but when I was awake, all of his attention would turn to me, no matter what he was doing before.
“Gracie?” Rhys called out as I tied my hair into a loose knot at the base of my neck.
“Yes?”
“Are you well enough to head back tonight?” He asked hesitantly.
“I’m good.” I told him, pecking his cheek as he wrapped his arms around my waist.
“Promise?” He asked.
“Promise.” I answered, but it was barely a whisper.
“Okay... Then there’s one thing I want us to do before we leave.” He sounded hesitant, so I realized right away what he wanted.
“You want me to shift?” I asked so he didn’t have to ask me.
“Yes,” He breathed.
“Okay, then let’s go do it.” I smiled at him, and the relief on his face was palpable.
We went outside in the snow, but I was only wearing a pair of biker shorts and a sports bra. And it was freezing.
“So how does this work?” I asked, fighting to keep my teeth from chattering.
“Have you heard from your Lycan at all?”
“No? But Ethan made it sound like it’s just another version of me, so I’m not sure I’m supposed to.” I answered, moving from side to side to stay warm.
“Okay, well for me, I just have to envision my other form and allow it to take over.” Rhys said, like it was easy.
“Okay.”
I shook my body out and then tried to envision growing into what only a couple weeks ago I had called a monster. But nothing happened. I didn’t grow claws and fur. My torso didn’t elongate. My arms and legs didn’t change shape. I just stood there, cold.
‘I give you control,’ I tried to tell my monster if she was in there, but if she was, she didn’t care. She didn’t want to come forward. I tried to shift at the same time as Rhys. We tried go on a run throughout the forest. We tried meditation. But again, nothing worked.
My whole body was shaking and a sob raked through me when I finally accepted it.. Everything I had went through over the last week had been useless and a waste of time because I might not be bound anymore, but I still couldn’t shift.
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