Chapter 212: Maizie
“We have to get them out before it’s too late.” My words hung in the air for the longest moment. My fear for my friends, for the people who had saved me was undeniable, but my fear for the kids we left behind terrified me more.
Rhys nodded at me, but I was too lost in my own head to really notice.
I had only taken on the mission in order to protect my sister. My sister who wasn’t in these pictures, but that I was sure they were taking their anger at me out on her. Every single alive and tortured kid was related to someone here. Had I made a mistake in choosing to stay here? Oh goddess.
“Maizie?” Michael looked at me with wide eyes.
I stood up and took a step back. My vision was closing in and I gasped, “I- I- can't breathe.”
But I didn’t stay, I bolted out of the room. The panic consuming me. Those kids. Those poor poor kids. I had let them down. I had let everyone down. It was my fault. Everything was my fault.
My back hit the wall, and I let myself slide down it. The sound of a door closing met my ears, and a pair of boots entered my vision before the person crouched down in front of me.
“Maiz,” The voice tried, but I couldn’t force myself to look up and meet his eyes. “Maizie, my girl, breathe. Breathe.”
I shook my head. Every breath was shallow and fast. I couldn’t slow it down. I couldn’t do anything right. Not even breathing. How the fuck would I ever be able to save them?
His hands cupped my face, forcing me to look into his eyes. His beautiful dark eyes that were so mesmerizing, yet also so tortured. I was torturing him, and I didn’t want to do that.
“I can’t,” I whispered.
“You can.” He answered calmly. “Come on, follow my lead.”
He thumbed at my tears, wiping them away, and I tried to follow his deep breaths. This was not how today was supposed to go. Nothing that had happened was how this day was supposed to go.
“What happened baby?” He asked gently, when he decided I was calm enough.
“It’s all my fault.” The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them. I wasn’t sure I really wanted to admit that even to my mate. My mate who I had barely even acknowledged.
He frowned, but didn’t back away like I thought he would. “Why you think that?” He asked finally.
“Those kids.” A small sob escaped my lips. “They’re being tortured because I chose to stay here and not die. It’s all my fault.”
Sawyer sucked in a sharp breath, and I averted my eyes. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in his eyes that I knew would follow my statement. He was my mate, sure, but that wouldn’t be enough when I had hurt so many people.
“Maiz,” He said gently, forcing me to look back at him. “It’s not your fault.”
“No, you don’t understand!” I exclaimed.
“Yes, I do.” He answered. “I saw Grace when she first came here. I saw you that first day. Grace was beaten up so bad that I didn’t really know how she was functioning. You were nothing but skin and bones. I have no doubt that they were torturing you and everyone else for any reason at all. Calling it punishments for anything and everything. They might have picked those kids as messages. But they would have done it anyway. And you know that.”
“But I could have protected them!” I argued.
“No.” Sawyer said softly. “No, you couldn’t have. You would have tried. You probably would have taken their punishments for them when you could. But there is no protecting in a, place like that. Besides, if you had chosen to protect them, you wouldn’t have been able to protect the ones here. And they are safe because of you.”
“It’s not enough,” I whispered.
“It’s more than enough,” Sawyer whispered back. “You can’t save everyone, Maizie. As much as we want to. As hard as we try, we can’t. But we do the best we can with what we have. We protect those we can. We do the best we can. And for those kids that now get to live in a home with a family who can love and care for them? That’s everything.”
I took a shaky breath and nodded. I still felt guilty, but he was right. I couldn’t save everybody, but that didn’t mean I stopped fighting for them either. And I couldn’t do that while I was sitting out here crying.
I knew that Sawyer believed every word that he had told me. And I might not be quite there yet, but there was still work to be done. We needed to get Grace, and we needed to get those kids out and stop whatever horrible thing they had planned next.
I wiped the last of my tears away and stood up with Sawyer following my lead. Before I could talk myself out of it, I walked right into him and wrapped my arms around him. If he wanted me, then he could have me... Just not right now. We had work to do, but for a moment, I could enjoy the comforts of his embrace. His arms immediately engulfed me, and for the first time in my life, I felt like I was home.
I pulled away first, but not before he kissed my forehead. I almost melted. I couldn’t wait to find out what else those lips could do. But now wasn’t the time. So, I grabbed his hand and marched right back into the office. Failure wasn’t an option. We had no choice but to succeed. Now, it was time to truly set our plan into action, and I was lucky because I got to do it with my mate by my side.