05

After my words had issued into the air, I pushed Rook off of me and climbed to my feet. Ignoring him, or trying to as my senses were on major overdrive, I turned back toward the cabinets, muttering crossly under my breath. “I am having that damn cup of cocoa!”

As I was reaching for another cabinet door, continuing my search, Rook's arm suddenly snaked around my waist, before lifting me off the floor, he tossed me over his shoulder.

Immediately, I started struggling. “Dammit Rook, put me down!” 

The only acknowledgement I got of my words was a low grunt, as turning, he began making his way out of the kitchen and into the living room, where he continued across it and into the hallway, before snapping, “Just because you couldn’t sleep doesn’t mean others weren't! And most, I imagine, are now awake because you are slamming every goddamn cabinet door you can find. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m tired. It has been one hell of a long day, and I only have a few hours left before I have to get my ass back up and deal with more bullshit. So, one way or another, you are going to bed as well, and not wandering the fucking house for hours!” 

As his words drew to a stop, and having reached the door to his bedroom, he gave the minimalist amount of hesitation, before opening the door, he stepped through. Afterward, crossing to his bed, he dropped me onto the mattress, holding me down. For a second I stilled, surprise rippling through me, before I began struggling against him.

After a few seconds of all-out-warfare, where I used every weapon I had, teeth, nails, fists and feet, I was suddenly pinned beneath his full weight and with the contact, I froze. Images started flashing through my mind; of a fist, smashing into my face, knocking me to the ground, where for moments I lay dazed, before being blindfolded, I was dragged on my hands and knees, fighting the cord around my neck like a dog fighting its leash.

From somewhere deep within my sub-conscious, I heard myself screaming and Rook’s exclamation of, “What the ever-loving fuck, Cat?” before jerking back to awareness, the shattering depths of what had been done to me began escaping in anguished sobs.

Rook, now standing some distance away, breathed, “What the hell—”

A sudden frantic banging on his bedroom door cut off his words, as Keeley, a buzz of other voices behind hers, called out from the other side of the wooden structure, “Rook, is Cat in there with you? I heard her screaming, and she’s not in our room.” 

Though the initial fear had begun somewhat to subside, muffled sobs continued to escape my lips, and pulling me against his chest, Rook snarled, “I got her Keeley, just go back to bed!” Then, his attention returning to me, he questioned, “Cat, what the hell is going on?”

A shudder ripped through my body and I felt the pain surge forward again, overtaking me like a tidal wave and leaving me soaked within its powerful deluge as Rook, unknowing of what I had been through, nor of the memories he had brought forth with his actions, ripped wide open the wounds that had only been scabbed over, nowhere near being healed. 

The armor I’d wrapped myself within to hide, was now shredded to bits, and I couldn't stop the pain that rocketed through me at the revelation at how inadequate the lies I’d told myself all this time were. Lies that I could handle what had happened, that I could bear it alone, and I found, despite the consequences, I couldn’t stop the flow of words from my mouth. “I was raped, Rook. Tied up and gagged while the bastard raped me.”

As the words had poured out of my mouth, Rook had stilled, before, voice emerging deadly soft, he growled, “What did you just say?”

I couldn’t say the words aloud again, and instead, I shook my head, as jerking from him, I jumped off the bed and ran toward his bedroom door.

Pulling it open, I escaped through it and ran down the hallway toward my bedroom with tears continuing to coat my cheeks.

I'd barely slammed the door shut behind me when it was thrust open again with such force, I gave a start, then cringed as, shoulders filling the width of the doorway and face a dark, menacing stamp of death, Rook hissed, “Tell me who, and God help whomever it is when I find him!”

There it was, what I’d feared the most. The reason I'd withheld the information of being raped, to begin with, for I'd known how he would react, of how he wouldn’t let it rest until he had my rapist’s name. It wouldn't do him any good to have it. The bastard was dead. It was forbidden to kill our own kind, but I had anyway.

As such, I remained mute, watching the pale blue of Rook’s eyes turn from hard, to pain-filled, before jerkily making his way the rest of the way into my room, he walked over to the window, where standing, his back to me, he peered out into the night.

Minutes of silence passed, before he finally breathed, “When, Cat?” Before I could say a single word, he was whipping around and advancing in my direction.

Within seconds he was drawing to a stop before me, and with realization sliding over his face, he reached out, and gently cupping my jaw, he softly caressed my cheek with his thumb as he painfully whispered, “That’s why you left, isn’t it? And I know the bastard, don’t I?”

I found myself, without conscious thought of the action, placing my hands on his chest, and whispering, “Please, just let it go, Rook.”

He stared at me, then finally hissed disbelievingly, “Let it go? You want me to let it go?”

Nodding, I could only whisper, “Yes, I want you to just let it go.”

Minutes ticked as the tense silence stretched and grew between us. Then, with indecision clearly at war within him, Rook pulled away and paced back and forth. After repeatedly running his fingers through his hair, he came back over to stand before me, and with his voice gruff, he stated, “I don't know if I can.”

Afterward, at seeing the tears that had begun to slip down my cheeks, he reached out, gently wiping at the moisture as it trembled on the curve of my lip.

Unable to stop my actions, as having denied myself any form of affection for over a year now, I found myself suddenly beyond denying the comfort of Rook's touch, unaware until this moment of needing it so badly that I ached with it, I turned my face into his caress.

I gave into the weakness for only a few seconds though, before stepping away from him, I uttered the words which were going to be the biggest lie that had ever slipped past my lips, but one that was necessary. “The reason I want you to let it go is that I don’t know who raped me. You see, I was letting any guy who wanted to, feel me up after you left my birthday party.” Afterward, shrugging, I continued, “So, your guess is as good as mine as to who it was.”

Within seconds of the words spilling from my lips, I ran from the room. I couldn't have survived seeing the look of disgust I knew Rook would wear for what I had done. He'd never voiced his opinion about cock-teasers, but I'd seen the disdain in his eyes.

Minutes later, I hid within the shadows created by the moon's rays peeking in through the solarium's windows. It was the only place I could think to hide where I needn't fear running into anyone—witches were notorious night-wanderers, their magic amped by the energy of the moon—and even distracted, I could feel the energy's siren song. It sang to me, hummed through my blood and wove its way into my mind, making me hunger to let it loose.

Shoving the urge aside, I watched the darkened image of the trees swaying in the breeze outside, and sighed, as pulling the small pendant I wore about my neck, I lightly rubbed at it, willing its strength as my mind journeyed to the past, to the night everything changed. To the night that forever changed me!