Bang-lish [2/2]

I woke in the middle of the night, sweating from the heat surrounding me. I glanced down to see Ethan's hand and fingers in the same place they'd been when he'd fallen asleep. His upper body still covered the right half of mine. Seth was spooning Ethan and had, at one point, reached over to hold my left breast under his hand.

They were both still asleep. I could tell by Ethan's warm, steady breathing against my neck and the twitch that came over Seth's hand occasionally.

I placed an awkward kiss against Ethan's forehead and dropped a hand over Seth's. With a deep sigh, I tried to wiggle away to pee, but—not a minute later—I knew I was trapped. As much as I wanted to stay snuggled up against them I couldn't. It was hot, my bladder was almost full, and I was feeling emotional about my recent choices, but I was stuck.

My heart thumped rhythmically against my chest. "Ethan?" I whispered.

His dark lashes fluttered and lifted, exposing his impossibly green eyes. "Hey," he said, with a smile.

I heaved a sigh and lifted my gaze to the ceiling. "I'm gonna need you. I'm gonna need you both."

My breath caught in my throat as Ethan shifted his fingers, which were still inside me, and pulled them out. He wiped the wet residue against the sheet covering my hips before letting his hand drop against the breast Seth's hands occupied. Ethan hugged me to his side and settled his chin against the curve of my shoulder.

"Hmm, I feel like you're about to get serious on me."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and dropped my cheek to the top of his head. "I am, but before I tell you, just know, it's going to do a lot of good, for me and them."

"Look at me, Cass," Ethan demanded softly as he pulled away so it would be easier to stare at me. "What's going on? You know, I knew it was something. It's been going on for a while now. I just couldn't put my finger on it."

I gave him a half-smile, trying to keep the tears from falling. I almost didn't realize I'd been holding them in. This was my choice after all. I wasn't being forced into it and I knew I wanted to at least try for that couple.

"Over the past few months, I've been undergoing some heavy psychological counseling."

Ethan's eyes widened. "Are you okay? I mean—"

I shushed him. "I'm fine. It's a process that I have to go through to see if I'm fit emotionally to be a surrogate."

"A what?"

Ethan knew what it was, I was sure he did, but the puzzled expression on his face showed that it was too big for him to connect the dots at that moment. "A surrogate is someone who can carry a child full term for a couple who can't conceive."

Ethan glanced back at a still snoring Seth before turning his attention back to me. His body was almost rigid as he shifted from sleepy awareness to alertness. "Cassie—"

I cut him off quickly. "I already did the physical before I started the counseling, you know? What would be the point if I couldn't physically handle it, but now that the counseling is almost finished, I have to do another, slightly more invasive, physical," I paused and licked my dry lips. "I just don't want to go by myself this time."

Ethan gently pushed Seth off of us and pulled me up so that we were both sitting on the bed. "This is a lot to take in. A-are you sure you want to do this?"

Letting out a shaking breath, I nodded. "I'm drowning, Ethan."

His eyebrows snapped together. "What?"

"School, money issues, working all the time... I'm getting paid a lot of money to do this and it's enough to cover four semesters of school."

A small scowl started at the corners of his mouth and rippled to his forehead. "If you'd just accept my help and stop being stubborn I'd pay for everything. You wouldn't have to work and you know I have my own money, so it's not like you'd be taking from my parents."

"I love you, but I'm not your charity case."

He heaved an irritated sigh. "Don't look at it like that. Look at it as an investment in your future. I'll even make you pay me back if that's what you want."

"Ethan, please, let's not talk about that again, okay?"

"If you won't take my parents' money, or mine, or Seth's, then give me the money you do have and I'll invest it for you. That way it will be completely yours and you won't have to worry about anything being a 'hand-out'!"

"That's a great idea. I've been saving some so you can invest it for me, but this is more than just the money."

"Well, then tell me."

"I want to know that I can do something good for someone else. Something that means a great deal... I want to know that I can be good—like your parents were to me. Like Frankie and-" I stopped as my voice cracked.

We were already on a touchy subject and I didn't want to make it worse by talking about my dead adoptive parents.

Ethan lifted his arm and brushed his fingers through my hair, tucking strands behind my ear before cupping the back of my neck and bringing my forehead to his. "You are too good. You don't have to do this to prove that to anyone."

I shifted down and kissed his lips. "I'm not changing my mind, but thank you."

Ethan's hardened gaze softened and his shoulders slumped. "When do you want to tell Seth?"

"How do you think he'll take it? I mean, it's not gonna be his kid, and there's only gonna be that one time sex between us... it's not like I'm his girlfriend. Or yours. I guess you both don't have to be there for moral support, but it would be—"

"When is this physical happening?"

I bit my top lip before answering him. "In two days."

"We'll go with you, I promise." The firmness in his voice sent warm shivers down my spine and I couldn't control the goofy grin slipping onto my face. "So, is that why you want to lose your virginity?"

I pulled away from his hand and lay down on the bed. When he followed I let out a surprised gasp as he settled on top of me. The tip of Ethan's elbows rested in the curves of my shoulders, his forearms on either side of my head, and his hands held my head in place as he dropped teasing kisses against my lips.

"It's not the only reason, but yeah, it's a big one."

"How long have you been doing this by yourself?"

"Almost a year—it's a pretty lengthy process. I guess the emotional trauma that can come from being a surrogate mother is pretty bad. I've looked up some people taking out lawsuits to keep the baby. It's crazy, but it's a requirement to go through with it. I won't even be using my egg. Her husbands' sperm is going to be injected into her egg and I'll just be holding the baby to term."

"If they're both fertile why can't she have it?"

"Her health won't allow her to physically hold the baby."

"How long were you going to wait until you told us this?" The interruption came from behind Ethan. The noise was a deep, sleepy growl that sounded slightly angry.

I turned my head to Seth. "Seth! You're awake!" I said around a surprised yelp.

"Are you going to make me repeat my question?"

My mouth dropped at his snapping, but I shook my head. "No. Y-you don't have to repeat it. I guess I didn't think to tell you both sooner."

Seth's eyes darkened, his pupils enlarged, and his facial features tightened into a scowl. "Maybe you need to start thinking better then."

"Seth!" Ethan whispered harshly at him.

"What, Ethan? Is she really that stupid?" He stopped at my enraged gasp and turned to me. "Are you that fucking stupid, Cassie, that you don't think this would've made a difference with things?"

My jaw clenched and I tried to push Ethan off me, but he refused to budge. "Things? What do you mean by that?" I asked tight-lipped and almost afraid of his answer.

"Why don't you go lose your v-card to someone else and leave my boyfriend out of this shit?"

Ethan gasped. "Seth! What the fuck, babe?"

This time my palms shot out and slammed into Ethan's chest. "Get off me, Ethan!"

"No!" Ethan snapped and reached for Seth's bulging bicep when he tried to stand up and away from the bed. "We are not leaving angry!"

"You know what? Just forget it. You can go with her. Hold her hand at every appointment, but count me out! I've been there, done that, and I don't plan on visiting that reoccurring nightmare again."

I was still miffed at Seth, but something in his voice shifted at his last statement. I lifted my gaze to stare at him. His eyes looked haunted... afraid. I wanted to ask about it but knew that would just continue leading them into another argument.

"Seth," I whispered, awkwardly slipping my arm out from Ethan's body. "I'm sorry if I upset you. You don't have to help me with anything. I swear, but Ethan's right. We shouldn't leave angry. And I—" My voice vibrated with emotion so badly I had to bite down on my bottom lip. "I want my first time to be with you two."

Seth's gaze softened just a little. The shirt he'd reached for on the floor was bunched in his hands and he stared down at the piece of clothing. "Look, I'm sorry too. It's not the best way to wake up, you know?"

I nodded. "I didn't think—again, me not thinking—" I gave a halfhearted chuckle, "that it would be much of an issue. We're not in a relationship or anything, so I assumed."

Seth's jaw clenched, but he sat at the edge of the bed. "You know what they say about assuming things."

I gave another nervous chuckle, still torn between keeping the peace, being hurt, and wanting to scream in rage at the cruel way Seth had responded. "So, can Ethan still boink me?"

The anger and tension melted like butter over fire and I could feel myself sucking in air at the lighter change in atmosphere.

Seth shrugged, that cat-ate-the-canary smirk slipping easily onto his face, "Only if I can too."

"But of course," I said, trying to keep a serious face. I darted my leg out and gently let my foot rub up Seth's thigh, "wouldn't have it any other way!"

Seth crawled up the bed and settled on my side opposite Seth. He leaned forward and kissed me deeply, but he pulled away quicker than I would've liked. Seth reached forward and cupped my face. "I'm serious, Cassie. I don't want to have anything to do with it."

A shocking knife-like stab into my heart took my breath away, but I covered it as quickly as I could. He wasn't under any obligation to be there for me, so I'd just have to get over it.

"Okay, but this is not a discussion that's on the table anymore, right? We need to get into the mood. So, stop speaking American English and start speaking American Banglish. You know? Come-on-I-wanna-lay-ya!" I said and lifted hips, bumping against Ethan's who snorted at the quote.

"That's what you consider Banglish, a quote from Grumpy Old Men?" Seth said, matching Ethan's snort before looking over at him. "What is Banglish again?"

Ethan gave a casual shrug. "I'm assuming it's Cassie's version of dirty talk."

I hissed at them with the help from the tiny gap between my front teeth. Pushing my lower lip out, I pouted. "It's Grumpier Old Men. Get it right! Now, come on let's screw. Please?"

Ethan frowned. His steady gaze, clearly disapproving in my use of the word 'screw,' made me want to shrink back I had a feeling my 'Deflower Me' plan wasn't going to happen. Ethan lifted off the bed and turned his clock so he could check out the time. He released a rush of air from his lips but turned with a large smile on his face. "I have a business class to teach and Seth—"

"Seth has an appointment with his personal trainer at the gym," Seth answered for him.

I pouted. "Ethan, your business class has a paid teacher to teach. Just because you're smarter than he is doesn't mean you have to teach his class. And Seth, your body is perfect—"

Seth cut me off. "Why do you think that is?"

My pout deepened because I knew where he was going with it. "Fine! I have the day off and everything. What's a girl to do?"

"Wanna come to class with me? You could learn about stocks and bonds," Ethan suggested, a slow smile creeping onto his face because he knew how much I hated that stuff.

"Do you want me to kill myself?" I asked.

Ethan shrugged and walked towards his dresser grabbing his wallet. He pulled out his platinum Amex card and tossed it at my feet. "You can go shopping."

"Ooh, getting out the big guns!" I said. "I'm not—"

"I didn't say shop for you. Don't get your panties in a twist," Ethan said.

"Ha! I'm not wearing any."

Seth's tiny, clearly unhappy groan as he walked towards the bathroom let me know he wasn't overjoyed to be leaving either.

"I'm running low on supplies. Need some more food and—"

I dropped back onto the bed, fanning my legs and arms out. "I know. I hate going into that store though. They treat me like I've got some type of contagious, incurable disease."

"They don't either. It's in your head."

"Yeah right," I mumbled. "Stupid uppity rich shops are not made for people like me, but fine. I will be your slave for the day."

Ethan lifted his chin in acknowledgment, gave me a silly grin, and followed Seth into the bathroom.