Those of the 'bat shit crazy' variety

I sniffled as I ripped a square out of the empty Hamburger Helper box I'd been too lazy to toss in the trash. Rummaging around in my nightstand drawer I found the three things I needed: a piece of a black crayon, super glue, and three toothpicks.

Rubbing the tears off my face, I walked into the kitchen where I'd left The Coffee Barn box that had once housed the best cupcake muffins ever. With the black crayon, in large bubble letters, I drew 'RIP' on the piece of cardboard all the while trying to ignore the new onslaught of tears blurring my vision and the ache in my heart that wouldn't go away. I glued the toothpicks together and then placed the half-assed drawing against them.

"I can't believe I wasted you guys," I mumbled, cutting an opening into the box to put the rest-in-peace post I'd made in place.

Picking the box up, I put it on top of my broken microwave, deciding if it wouldn't cook my microwave dinners then it was going to be good for something. I stood back, realizing the ridiculousness of my little art project, but a little surprised at how well it had come out. The greens and silvers of the box brought a little flavor into this place.

Then I felt it, the tickling of crawling legs and antennae on the back of my hand. In a panic, I flipped my hand over, confirming what was there. With a yelp, I brushed the cockroach off and watched as it scurried away into hiding again.

"Come on," I shouted at it. "We had a deal! I don't stomp on you and you don't show yourselves when the lights are on! Little fuckers."

I couldn't kill them because I'd feel bad for days about it. Didn't even kill spiders and I always avoided the anthills, or at least I tried. No point in senseless killing just because something is a creepy crawler, just because something is different from me. I was probably a creepy stomper to them. It was all about perspective.

The sudden, loud pounding on the door made me jump high. I slammed a hand over my rapidly beating heart and glared at the door a mere three feet away. "I'm gonna try out for the long jump at school if you keep that loud ass knocking up. Who the hell is it?"

"Cassie, let me in!"

My breath caught in my throat at the angry voice hidden behind my door. Ethan. Red clouded my vision and I walked towards the door, wrapping my knuckles back in response, but not opening it. "Do you know where you are? You can't come around here knocking on doors like you're the po po!"

"What?"

"The police you asshole!"

"Open the door, Cassie," Ethan demanded.

I looked through the peephole to see a wrinkled top and jeans hanging sloppily on his body. His face was red, either from the cold outside or anger. What the hell did he have to be angry about?

"No, I will not."

"Seth left too. He wouldn't talk to me. Someone has to talk to me. I thought we were all good after the bathroom and then a cupcake in the face wakes me up to you and Seth fighting. What happened?"

"You could sleep through the apocalypse," I grumbled.

"What?"

"Ethan, you need to leave. I'm sure Seth will talk to you tomorrow when he's cooled off. If you don't leave the police will come."

"You're gonna call the police on me?" he asked, sounding hurt.

He was such a great actor. They'd both fooled me for a long time. That's not fair, Cassie, I reasoned with myself. Those automatic thoughts were a bitch sometimes.

"No, I won't but someone else will. I'm not letting you in. I can't talk to you right now! We're not friends anymore... be sure you tell that to Seth since he seems to have such a huge problem with me. He'll eventually come around."

Another lie from me--I would always be their friend--and I was the one angry for how they fooled me? What a double standard.

I bit my lip, feeling ashamed and ready to turn away, but his fist slammed harder rattling the frame of the door, startling a gasp out of me. "You don't just get to up and decide when we're finished being friends. Besides, we're more than friends now. I know this has something to do with what happened tonight and I'm going to find out what the hell Seth's problem is, but I need a little give. I need you to let me in, Cass."

"His problem just cleared up a few things for me so whether he comes around or not the decisions been made. I'm no longer your problem!"

I peeked through the peephole again to see the confusion on his face before he leaned his forehead against the door, bracing himself against it with both hands.

"Cassie," his voice was so low I almost didn't hear him. "You were never a problem. How did you come to that conclusion? Please open the door. We need to talk!"

"No."

Another hard pound that made the door shake and I wondered how long it could last against Ethan's strength. "Cassie, I—"

I heard something click and the apartment's door, across the hall from me, creaked open.

Oh shit. My neighbor.

I swung my door open quickly and pulled Ethan inside, mumbling an apology for the interruption. The old man's handheld a hard, black shiny object as he narrowed his eyes at me and then slammed his door.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked, pushing Ethan in as I slammed my door. "This isn't your neighborhood. You can't come here acting like this."

Ethan was frowning, still looking down at where the man's hand had held the gun. "Why would he have that?"

"Again, this is a bad area. Mr. Powell has been robbed several times so he got a license for a gun. He doesn't care much for me, but just by association I get protection because I do live here," I said.

I swallowed when I noticed my hands were still against Ethan's chest. I dropped them instantly and folded them over my chest. "Now, what do you want?"

Ethan swallowed, clearly still lost in what had just happened. He rubbed his chest, visibly disturbed as his gaze connected with mine. "Have you—" he cleared his throat, "ever been robbed?"

I shrugged casually. "I've had people break-in, but then they realized the only thing of value I have is a toaster. No one has broken in for weeks!"

"Christ!" His chest concaved from the large exhale of breath he let out. "Why didn't you ever say anything? You really can't stay here anymore. I'm going to call-"

"You have your answer."

"Oh come on! That's not fair—" Ethan started, but I cut him off.

"Do I have to explain why life's not fair here?" I patted his shoulder. "You're a big boy now."

He scowled and rolled his eyes before his face morphed back into the serious, worried look he'd had early. "Seriously, what happened?"

I licked my bottom lip and turned half away from him. "Seth was gonna leave you... I mean us, but you because he never wanted me to begin with."

"That's not true! What do you mean he was gonna leave?"

"He'd gone to the closet and gotten all of his clothes. He was gonna go back to his apartment."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ethan frown. "That's not entirely abnormal. It doesn't mean he was leaving."

"And then he said he couldn't do it anymore. That I was the problem all around, that I'd always been the problem. He said he was just an experiment to you until you realized who you really loved, so he was done." Re-hashing the words tore my 'trying to mend' heart even more.

Damn. I'd really been falling for Seth hard.

His jaw clenched. "Who was this person I was supposed to really love?"

"Me."

"Damn it, I thought we'd gotten past that two years ago."

"Me too, but apparently not."

Ethan raised an eyebrow. "Why did you leave then? Practically in the middle of the night in your pajamas... and you walked here? You have no idea how pissed I am right now!"

"Pissed? I figured you'd be relieved. You don't have to take care of me. I don't need you anymore.′

"You don't need me anymore?"

I nodded, pursing my lips. "That's right. I got what I wanted out of you."

Ethan looked at me skeptically, "Are you saying you used me for sex?"

"According to you, I've used you and your family your entire life. Remember, I ruin everything?"

Ethan raised his arms in frustration. His grunt of irritation was the only sound heard for a minute. "When in the hell did I ever say anything like that?"

"Remember your birthday? When I threw up all over you? Then!"

It didn't take long for him to remember and the realization morphed over his face. "I was fucking twelve, Cassie! I was a little boy! You can't hold words I said when I was twelve against me."

"It wasn't just that. If you hadn't given into me that one time Seth's ears would've bled. Remember that one?"

His eyes shut slowly. He looked like he was praying. "He was joking."

"I'm just tired of feeling like a burden. So, I'm finished too."

This time when he opened his eyes they were bright with determination. "Well, I'm not," he said, darting forward so quickly I barely had time to register the movement. His hands were in my hair, on either side of my head, as he pulled our foreheads together. "You are fucking crazy. Bat shit looney!"

Didn't he know to never call a woman crazy? I inhaled sharply. "What-"

My words were cut off by a harsh, punishing kiss that forced the skin of my lips into the tiny gaps of my teeth. I tried to pull away, but he kept me there a second longer before jerking my head away.

"We're gonna be good together. All three of us, I know it. I'm going to figure out what got broken and I'll fix it. I'll be here tomorrow afternoon. Everything should be right by then."

"I won't be here."

His gaze darkened. "Then I'll find you."

"No, you won't."

Ethan's fingers clenched in my hair causing me to cringe with discomfort, "Cassie, don't—"

"I have another psych eval tomorrow, okay? So you wouldn't have found me."

I could've smacked myself. I was such a wimp. It would be for the best, for Seth and Ethan, if I could keep this act up.

Ethan sighed and leaned in to kiss me on the nose. "I'll pick you up at The Coffee Barn then. Don't try to get off early and walk home."

"Ethan, just stop it! Don't you love Seth? I'm giving you both an out here. Are you too stupid to take it?"

"Are you too stupid to see that I never needed one?"

My mouth dropped open. I quickly closed it, trying to think of something to say.

His hand slid into the side of his jeans, pulling out a cell phone. I frowned down as he tried to hand it to me. "What is this?"

"Your cell phone."

I bit my bottom lip. "I've never had a cell, Ethan. That's not mine."

"It is now. The bill comes to me so you don't have to worry about that."

"Oh, great, another piece of charity," I grumbled, still refusing to take it.

"It's not charity!" he spat out. "It's insurance into my future!"

I frowned so hard I could feel the wrinkles forming on my forehead. "What?"

"Your asinine ideas get you into trouble too much and since you insist on being a brat and running away from any sort of conflict in the middle of the night, you're taking the damn phone."

I let out a low growl of warning. "No. I'm. Not."

"Fine. I'll leave it outside your door. If someone steals it I guess I'll just have to buy you another one and I'll keep on doing it—wasting my money that is—on buying you a new phone every time someone steals it. Your choice."

Clucking my tongue, I snatched the phone out of his grasp. The smirk he tried to stop lifted the corner of his mouth. He leaned in, trying to steal another kiss, but I turned my face away. He stayed there, staring at the side of my face, before gently placing a kiss on the curve of my cheek.

"Good choice. I've got to get to Seth's now and work this shit out. We'll see you tomorrow."

With that he left, leaving me standing a few feet from the door. "He's so stupid," I mumbled, clutching the phone tightly.

And then it rang. My heart jumped at the song playing. It was one of my favorites, a collaboration of Sia and David Guetta, She-Wolf. I flipped the phone over so I could see the screen.

Ethan.

I pressed the green phone. "Weren't you just here with your "I Tarzan, you Jane," spiel? Why are you calling?"

I heard him sigh with relief. "I wanted to make sure you didn't throw it away. G'night, Cass."