Chapter Thirteen

Alice

"You scared me," I yelp before taking a few steps back, finding Eric standing near my car but I quickly cover it up with a small smile in which he returns. I never did expect to see him here as he waits for me to get my regular cup of coffee which confuses me. Then again, there might be something important that is not worth the wait. "Eric . . . what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you," He replies, smiling nervously.

"You could've texted or called me first. How did you know I was here?"

"I still remember your favourite place to get coffee,"

"Right . . . right, how could you forget. It was an everyday routine," I respond before clearing my throat, feeling a little bit uncomfortable as I hold tightly onto my warm cup of coffee—regretting my decision to have ever leave the house in the first place but here I am, standing in front of my ex-boyfriend.

"For the many years we were together. Still, you must be holding a caramel latte." He points out at my drink which causes me to chuckle, trying to hide the awkwardness.

Ever since Eric and I broke up, many things have changed because I never wanted to remember any parts of him but I couldn't skip my routine nor my favourite things. My relationship with Eric was almost toxic before it ended but it was really great in the beginning. He remembered everything about us, about the little things, too and it made me proud, for a moment, to have him as my boyfriend.

Until . . . it all went downhill.

"Impressive. You remember," I mutter.

"Hard to forget about you," He replies.

"Eric, just be honest, why are you here? It is a little bit weird to find you standing beside my car as I get my coffee . . . it feels like you're stalking me and it makes me really uncomfortable," I say, trying to utter the words as nice as possible.

Eric makes his way towards me, making me feel off-guard. "Don't think of it that way. I actually care a lot about you, Alice and I want you to see that—I didn't mean to come off weird or psychotic. I'm not even stalking you," He says.

"I feel like you are,"

"I'm not,"

"Look . . . what do you want?" I look away, trying to find a distraction.

"I just want us to talk. A real talk,"

Eric and I were over. We were long gone the moment we realised our feelings weren't valid anymore and it was obvious we wanted to end things. Our relationship turned chaotic and it was irresponsible to let it be dragged any further, one of the reasons why we decided to end it before it could get any worse. I didn't want to hurt myself more than I already was and he just needed to clear his head.

"A real talk? We should've had that years ago. Don't you think it's a little bit too late?" I ask, crossing my arms as he chuckles, leaving me feeling uncomfortable.

Truth be told, I just want to push him away and get in my car. Then, I'd drive off the road as soon as possible to get away from this man. He gave me trauma and I'm willing to make sure he won't do me any more harm. I'm fragile enough because he broke me . . . that was the finish line.

"We both needed the space, right? Come on, you know that." He breathes.

"No, I don't. I've moved on,"

"Then, why did I feel that our kiss was intense?"

"You meant the dare?" I raise an eyebrow, scoffing.

"It felt more than a dare to me. You meant it,"

"I felt challenged by you. It was a stupid game that we played!" I point it out, gripping hard onto my coffee before running my free fingers through my hair—not believing this is actually happening. The words that came out of his mouth just didn't make any sense and it is really messing with my feelings. My whole body is starting to shake yet I try my best to control them, wanting to breathe.

I need a breath of fresh air.

"Eric . . . we were playing a game," I mutter.

"You could've just said no."

"I didn't want you to think that I haven't moved on!"

"Clearly, you still haven't!" He responds, silencing me. "Just, be fucking honest about it."

I blink a few times, trying to distance myself away from him. "What is wrong with you?"

"What is wrong with me? You clearly didn't want to say the truth. Why are you still lying about your feelings towards me? You even went on a date with some stranger, just to make me feel jealous. How can I deny the fact that you still love me, Alice?" He asks, continuing to make his way towards me.

To my surprise, he reaches out for my wrist which causes me to remain frozen but his grip tightens, leaving me groaning in pain. I try to break free but he pulls me in further, spilling the coffee onto the ground as his lips near my own, "Don't try to deny it . . . you love me," He adds.

"Let me go, Eric!" I groan, pushing away.

"You're not going anywhere," He replies, pushing me towards my car as both of my palms rest on the window—trying to prevent my face from hitting the surface. "You don't know how much I miss you, how much I miss all of this. You always have this effect on me, sweetheart." One of his hand goes down to my dress before running up my thigh, causing me to kick him away but fail miserably.

"Let me go, Eric! What the hell are you doing?!" I shout, trying to scream.

"Shut the fuck up!" He cups my mouth, blocking my screams.

I look around, trying to scream for help but it confuses me. Not once was the parking lot ever this empty but today, right now, right here, I am left helpless. Eric pushes the unlock button near the door handle before he pushes me in the backseat, leaving my head to bump onto the door. I hear him closing the door behind us as he locks them, continuing to hold both of my wrists behind my waist.

"What are you doing, Eric? Just let me go, please." I mutter, tears falling down my cheeks.

"Not until I get what I want,"

"Stop it!"

A harsh slap comes across my face which causes me to fall down as he continues to push me harder onto the backseat, leaving my body helpless. He is stronger and bigger than me, there is no way I'd be able to break free from his strength. I continue to scream and kick out in anger as he lowers my panties, touching the area that he shouldn't.

"No, no, let me go! Let me go, Eric!" I scream but another slap lands on my face, silencing me.

"Shut the fuck up. Just shut up!"

I moan in pain as soon as he enters it forcefully, making me close my eyes shut. The pain continues to make me groan, causing me to hold my hands tightly but Eric doesn't seem to care, he continues to thrust in fast. My dress is being pulled down and torn away, revealing my breasts clearly to view. He doesn't waste the opportunity to roughly squeeze them, causing me to scream.

"Eric . . . please," I cry, it sounds like I'm begging.

"Shut up," He replies, slapping me across the face again.

I continue to cry as memories of this exact scene replays in my head, even though it was years ago, it happened. I am already numb by the pain as he thrusts in harder, making me moan louder; not in pleasure but at the stinging sensation underneath. Yet, he manages to pleasure himself while I close my eyes, legs kicking out.

"You're so fucking good. Fuck, I miss this." He groans, pulling my hair as he goes faster.

"Mmmm," I cry, tears streaming.

"Fuck!" He moans, finishing on my bottom as pushes my wrists tightly onto the seat.

I remain quiet with my face facing down, trying to process what just happened. As he pushes himself away from me, I am left bare and naked—too numb to cover up or be embarrassed. Slowly, I sit near the door as I pull my dress up to cover my skin, "Don't. Leave it," He interrupts, pulling the dress away from my grasps. "You don't need to cover up that beauty. Leave it out,"

"You did it . . . again," I look up at him, eyes red with anger.

"And? You had fun,"

"I fucking hate you."

"Haha, you don't. We are just getting started," He raises his hand to caress the side of my face before unlocking the doors and exiting the car, slamming the door behind him.

As soon as he walks away, I immediately lock the doors back and scream out in pain. Tears continue to stream down my face, my palms covering my face in embarrassment. The way his eyes were staring down at me, the way his hands were roughly hurting my body, it is as if there was no humanity left. I was treated like a doll, as if I have no heart nor feelings.

Nobody knows. No one.

This has happened more than once. This has happened countless times, even during our relationship because he was upset. He forced me into every sexual activities or he would hit me. Not even the word 'no' or my voice screaming out in pain would stop him . . . he'd just continue until he is satisfied.

I cry, holding the dress up close to my naked body.

With both of my hands trembling, I manage to slowly drive back home. As I park my car in front of my house, I let out another stream of tears before holding myself back together—not wanting to feel weak even when it's clear, my eyes are beginning to look puffy.

Luckily, my parents aren't home.

I immediately step into my house and make my way towards my bedroom, locking the door behind me. My body collapses on the bed, letting me close my eyes and grip hard onto the sheets, blaming all that has happened on myself. Why can I never have the courage to report this to the authorities? Maybe, because they'll end up blaming you.

I'd be the one to blame. I'd be questioned for what I was dressing and I might even be framed for trying to ruin his reputation. After that, I'd never be able to continue my life as I always have.

My head turns to the side, imagining Damon beside me:

His body lays still beside me as he stares into my eyes, wiping away the fallen tears. Our touch would instantly bring sparks and everything around us would disappear, we'd be the only ones in the world. Everything would be perfect, everything would be complete.

How can I feel this much with one person? A person I just knew.

"I wish you were here," I mutter under my breath, trying to conceal the pain.

"I'm always here," He smiles.

I smile, remembering the night we spent together. It was only a couple of days ago but it felt as if I haven't seen him in an eternity, pretty dramatic. We spent the night talking, painting our nails and laying in each other's arms. His warm touch manages to make me fall asleep and I swear to god, I've never slept as soundly as I did that night.

The luckiest part is, when I woke up in the morning, we were still arm in arm. He didn't leave during the cold night but he stayed, comforting me. I have never felt safer in my entire life.

"Why is this happening to me?" I question, crying.

The imagination of Damon has disappeared, leaving me staring at the empty space. I realise that I'm only alone in this room and he doesn't know how much I've suffered in the past. I feel safe with him and I feel way more content but I need to understand, he might leave me . . . as soon as he sees me break.

Then again, he might stay. He might.

So, I make the decision to hurt myself, taking a blade to my wrists.