Chapter Forty Two: Nothing Breaks Like a Heart

Lorraine was in her room; it was already past midnight and she had been lying in her bed staring at the ceiling. She left her window open, intentionally this time. She had been waiting for Cedric to show up, waiting for that feeling she had the previous night alerting her of his presence to happen again. However, there was nothing. She was worried about that newfound and very confirmed fact that she was a witch. She was worried about Victoria Delvaux and about her mother, who since Lorraine arrived at their house had kept herself in her room.

There were many things she was worried about, but Cedric and the kiss they shared was taking the bigger part of her mind. She groaned and put a pillow on “God! I’m such a teenager!”

“That’s a biological fact.” His voice startled her into jumping up from her bed, almost falling over.

“You’re here!” She exclaimed with a yell.

He put a finger over his lips, gesturing for her to keep quiet. “You don’t want to wake your mother, do you?”

“Where have you been?” Her eyes gave him a death glare and her tone turned angry.

Cedric gave a small, rare smile, “You missed me?”

She scoffed and put her nose up, “I did a spell today.”

“I know, Bates told me all about your little achievement today.” He walked closer, “He also told me that you asked about me.” He seemed hesitant for a second, before he said, “He also told me about the little story he told you.”

She nodded her head and bit on her lower lip. “Where have you been?” She asked again.

“I was thinking.” He sat on the bed next to her, but he didn’t look at her. “You know about Darla now, maybe not the whole story but you know enough.”

“Is that why you came here tonight? If Bates didn’t tell me, would you still be here?” She was beginning to feel pain in her chest. She could feel her heart aching at the prospect, however she tried not to let her voice betray her how she really felt.

Cedric let out a breath, “A human came and found me.” he started and she was surprised at the change of topic. “It was before I found Raymond, before we went to Victoria’s house. She told me of a spell in the Vancsura grimoire.”

Lorraine furrowed her eyebrows, and turned her body so she was fully facing him. “What kind of spell?”

“A resurrection spell.” At first she was confused why his voice held something akin to guilt in it. Then she wondered why that particular spell was important in everything they were going through. When her eyes widened, and her heart began to beat slightly faster, Cedric knew she figured it all out.

“That’s why you insisted on me opening the grimoire, not caring for whatever consequences that held. That’s why you came here last night.” She stood up and her soft voice was becoming louder, “You want me to bring her back! That’s the only thing you’ve ever wanted, that’s what your whole life is about!” She stood up and began pacing in front of him feeling her heart breaking in her chest, then she stood before him swallowing the lump in her throat. “Is that why you kissed me last night?”

Cedric stood up, “It’s not like that!” He sounded even more frustrated that she was, “I already told you that you make me feel things, you make me question what I want, what I have lived my entire existence wanting.”

She glared at him, “But you still came here asking me to bring her back.”

“I didn’t ask you to do anything!” Cedric retorted angrily. “I… I don’t know what I’m asking anymore, alright! I don’t know. I hate that you make me feel like this. I thought I would never feel this way again. Then you came along and everything changed.”

“To hell with this!” she shouted and the tears that had been forming in her eyes, fell down freely on her face, “This isn't fair.” Her legs couldn’t even hold her weight any longer; the only thing Lorraine felt was an intense pain in her chest. She felt her heart breaking. “Just leave.” She said softly under her breath

“Lorraine.” Cedric called her softly; it had been a while since someone made him feel guilty, since someone caused him that amount of pain. However, seeing her like that, knowing how much he hurt her, disappointed her even, pained his heart. Yes, he still wanted Darla back. But he didn’t want Lorraine hurt in the process of that.

Lorraine only shook her head, barely containing the sob that wracked her body. “Just leave.” Cedric glanced sadly at her trembling shoulders, hoping that her eyes would meet his, but she kept them away. He knew there was nothing he could do but leave, so he jumped out of the window and walked into the night. Lorraine didn’t know why she was so hurt, she had always suspected, known, that he was hiding something. It shouldn’t be that surprising that it was about the love of her life. She wondered if she was only a means to an end, if he only saw her as nothing but a witch, a way to bring back the love of his life. Lorraine had never, in her short life, known heart break. She never expected to go through it. *“Look at me now.”*

He knew that it was Victoria’s fault, he was sure that she was behind that piece of information that was given to him on a silver platter. However, he found himself following the tip without even giving it a second thought. He wondered what would interest Victoria or the Brotherhood in bringing back Darla, he wondered if Lorraine would ever forgive him.