74- Don´t laugh at me

he next morning, an alarm is not needed to wake me up.
My eyes are wide open and have been for the better part of the night, so when the blaring
begins, I immediately pick up my phone to shut it off.
My gaze is fixated on the barreled ceiling above, the lines of its trim now solidly committed to memory.
The world seems tilted to me, as though everything is out of balance and incredibly foreign.
And I know it’s just me because once again, and against my better judgement, I have allowed myself to be fucked senseless by my boss.
There is absolutely no way that I can go into the office today. I don’t want to and my lack of sleep has already guaranteed that even if I did, I would be nothing but a sloppy, exhausted mess.
My hands tighten around the phone in my hands, as the guilt of irresponsibly calling in sick when we both know that it is not the case, haunts me. The slight patter of rain on the roof reminds me of how cozy my day could be if I succumb to just remaining in bed, so I turn to my side and pull the blanket over my head. I still have an hour to make up my mind.
Three hours later, I’m jarred awake by my ringing phone. The moment I read the time to see what my initially intended ten minutes nap has extended into, I jump out of bed swearing, “Fuck! Fuck.”
I see that it is Allen who is calling, and it terrifies me more than anything. I quickly answer the call as I hurry to my closet to pick out the first item of clothing that I can find. “I’ll be right there. I’m so sorry I’m running late. There was an emergency.”
“Um, calm down,” he says. “I’m just calling to find out why neither you nor your boss are at your desks? I thought you both went for a meeting somewhere. So none of you are in yet?”
I halt at his words, and take the few needed seconds to calm myself. “He’s not there?”

“He isn’t.”
“Um, have you tried to contact him?”
“I can’t. His phone is switched off. It’s a Tuesday morning and he can’t be reached. I’m pretty sure there’s a problem.”
“Um, what do you want me to do about this? I mean, what can I do?” “Do you have his house address?”
“I don’t think so,” I respond. “Or maybe I do but I have to search for it.” “I’ll send it to you. Head over to check on him.”
This instruction doesn’t sit too well with me but before I can work up a complaint or excuse, the call disconnects. I stare at the phone, my entire mind in a complete muddle and soon, the message with Grady’s home address comes in.
I stare at it and wonder at the force that seems to be pushing me so desperately towards him. Suddenly, there is a brief knock on my door so I turn around to see Lee Rang come in.
“You’re still here?” she asks in surprise. “I slept past my alarm.”
“Yikes,” she says. “I didn’t know you were still at home or else I would have woken you up.”
“It’s okay,” I say. “My boss is late too, so I think we’re both just not ready to face the world today.” She’s amused at my statement. “Why? Did something happen?”
“Nope.” I shake my head and keep my face as expressionless as possible.
“Okay,” she says. “I’m about to make some oatmeal. Grab some before you leave.” “Alright,” I reply and once again, I am left alone in silence.
I immediately search for his phone number to dial it and just as Allen said, it is indeed unreachable. I have a few meetings scheduled for him today which I have to quickly cancel and reschedule if he truly isn’t going to be coming in. Anxious, I rush to dress myself then head to the bathroom to brush my teeth. It’s as I am brushing my hair into a ponytail that another message comes in. I quickly lower my gaze to my phone and see that it’s a message from him.
My heart slams against my chest in alarm, as I let go of my hair and dive for the phone.

His message is very simple. I won’t be coming in today. Please reschedule my meetings.
I stare at the message for a long time, wondering what the problem is. And then it occurs to me that I myself need the day off too. So I head over to my bed to take a seat.
After plopping down on the soft mattress, I send him my response.
Are you all right? Is there a problem?
I’m nervous because the words are too endearing but I don’t know how else to phrase them.
His reply soon comes in. Everything’s fine. I just need the day to handle some personal matters.
I don’t want to say anymore but I know that I need to ask permission to also be away from the office. Just as I’m thinking about this, another message comes in.
Take the day off too. I think we both need it.
My sigh of relief almost deflates my entire frame.
Sweeter, more appropriate words have never been spoken.
With a heart nearly bursting with joy, I fall back onto my bed, beyond grateful that I don’t have to go through the hassle of becoming a functioning human for the day. So I pull my dark, creased slacks off, along with my camisole and bra then crawl back underneath my blankets.
But then I remember that I have to reschedule his meetings.
With a groan, I throw the covers off, grab my laptop and in an hour both his and my schedules are clear.
After Lee Rang’s delicious breakfast banana and blueberries garnished oatmeal breakfast, I return to the haven underneath my covers and slide into a long, exhausted slumber.