104- I will never

He turns his full attention to me now, so I fill him in on what happened between her and my father the previous day.
For the first time ever, I watch Allen get stunned into silence. “Are you serious right now?”
I cross my arms and lean against the counter. “I’m just as shocked as you are. From the moment we left my father’s place till when we arrived at her house, she didn’t say a single word.
“And then this morning she calls to tell you that she’s not coming in.” “She didn’t call. She sent a text.”
“Well, maybe she just needs a day to process all of this. That’s pretty normal isn’t it?”
“Perhaps,” I reply, a little forlorn knowing his response is not exactly what I want to hear, but aware that it’s the only one he can give with his still limited knowledge of the depth of the relationship between Blair and me. I contemplate whether to share this with him, truly at my wits end on how to proceed with the current complications.
“There are some things though that I still don’t quite understand from your father’s story,” Allen says. “How did the other fourteen men get involved in the mission? Wasn’t it just the four that were sent in?”
“Blair’s father was finally able to find the signal to contact the base for help. After that, a helicopter was sent after them with other soldiers on board. But as they neared the mountains, they were shot down from the sky.”
“My God,” Allen says quietly. He returns to feeding his daughter, but soon has another question for me, “Why does your father think that he is responsible for this? None of the men from the original team returned alive right?”
“Right, and I asked him that when I returned to his place after dropping Blair off. He said that during that last call, the report he got was that ‘Laine lost his footing and tumbled down the mountain. His

gun went off. We’re fucked.’ He was the kid that he sent in place of Jack, so he gathered that the mistake of doing that put the others in jeopardy.”
“But that is just speculation is it not? Anyone amongst the original team members could have also lost their footing or dozed off.”
“Maybe, but bearing this guilt and carrying it like a cross is the only way that he can continue to live with himself, otherwise he might have long ago committed suicide.”
Allen’s sigh is heavy. “Did you know anything prior to this?”
“I did not. I found out at the same time Blair did, and it’s finally made me realize what had been eating him up for the last decade.”
“Wow,” he says and rises to his feet. We are both silent as he processes all that I have just said to him. He cleans his daughter’s mouth from all the smeared food, and takes off her bib. Then he heads over to the sink with the used plates and quickly rinses them off.
I have now locked eyes with his baby and it’s fascinating just how huge and blue her irises are. She is indeed striking and her eyes remind me of another set of deep green eyes that I truly want to look into.
Allen comes over to lift his baby into his arms, and we head over to one of his living rooms. There, he puts her on the carpet in her play corner and she proceeds to keep herself busy with the blocks of toys around.
I’m already seated on one of the sofa’s, so he comes over to join me on it. He watches me for a brief moment before speaking again, “All of this is truly shocking and I can especially understand that Blair would feel quite disconcerted. Do you want me to contact her on your behalf?”
I’m not sure what to say to this, so I just stare blankly at him. He then pulls his phone out of his shorts.
My reaction is immediate. “No!” I jump to my feet.
Allen looks startled by the outburst. “Wha- What’s wrong?”
I withdraw my outstretched hands and slip them back into my pocket. I can’t exactly return to my seat, so I just hold his gaze.
“Grady, what’s going on? Do you want me to contact her or not? Isn’t it your concern that she might be taking things too hard and you want to find out how she’s doing?”
“Yeah.” I nod.

“So, what’s the problem?”
“I think I should be the one to do it.”
He seems confused. “Then what’s stopping you? Is it because the both of you aren’t close?” I keep staring at him and then I see the moment that something clicks in his mind.
“You have a thing for her?”
My expression is of exhaustion. “You have a thing for her!”
I return to the seat with the mind to deny this, but not a single protest comes to mind, so I just plaster a frown on my face and focus my gaze on his baby.
“Oh God! When did this happen?” His eyes are bright with excitement and wonder. “Wait? You both saw your father yesterday. What was she doing with you on a Sunday? And why were both of you with your father? Even I've never met your father. Hell, I didn’t even know you had one and I've known you for almost a decade.”
I don’t think I have to respond to any of this as he is going to pretty much figure it all out. So I lean into the tan leather sofa with a sigh.
“Grady!”
“Fine,” I groan. “We’re not dating but…”
“You’re just sleeping together?” His tone is disappointed.
“This started before she ever came to the office. We met at a bar the weekend before, and hooked up. And then the next Monday you bring her in as my secretary? I was fucking shocked.”
Allen’s mouth falls open. “What?” He then looks away to think and then his eyes widen with amazement. “So that was why… was that why you immediately rejected her? And then she…” He rises to his feet. “She was shocked too, but I thought- how did she manage to convince you then? She came in alone to talk to you right? What did you say? Why did you hire her?”
I cannot help but smile at the reminder. “She threatened to sue me.” “What? Blair?”
“Yup,” I reply. “Your ball of sunshine is actually a lethal piranha.” “What the fuck did she want to sue you for?”

“Wrongful termination of employment.”
“What employment? She hadn’t officially gotten the job then.”
“You’d verbally promised it to her after the interview. You made the offer and she accepted it.” “That couldn’t have been proven.”
“It didn’t matter, I wanted her around anyway. Her wit was more than an excuse.”
His smile is broad and full of glee. “I can’t believe it. It worked out perfectly. I didn’t even need to be involved. And here I thought my efforts had crashed and burned.”
“Well, they might have. My father’s twist has landed the biggest blow. For all I know, she might have even left town.”
“She wouldn’t do that,” Allen says.
A part of me believes him. But then another part fully expects her to, unsure that our connection is strong enough to survive the recent revelations. “Well, I hope so.”
Silence punctuates our thoughts.
Then he asks, “Should I call her, or should you?”
“I’ll call her,” I respond. “But not now. Later in the evening.”