97- Being you too

“Y ou too?” I mutter in disbelief. “You too?”
I can’t scream out loud, especially since Matthew is home, so I grab my pillow and soundlessly scream into it. It’s at this point that a knock sounds on my door.
Lee Rang immediately pushes it open and this is the state she finds me in. “Blair?” she calls, alarmed. “Are you okay?”
Dejected, I throw the pillow aside and brush my hair out of my face. “I’m not. I’m really not. In fact, I think I have a mental problem. I just gave the most stupid response to my boss.”
She completely walks in then and shuts the door behind her. “Why? What did you say?” “You too,” I respond.
She is immediately perplexed. “What?” She comes over to sit on my bed.
As I stare into her eyes, I wonder if I should say any more given the relationship I’m currently in with Grady, which is one that I’m very aware she does not approve of. I have already mentioned him however, so I know that she will not leave until I spit out what had me screaming into my pillow. “He has a... difficult relationship with his father. Anyway, today he got some bad news about his father’s health, so he mentioned it to me and I... uh, I tried to console him a bit, but he told me not to worry about it but to spend time with my family. Guess what I said in response. Lee Rang. Guess.”
“You too?”
“Yeah. I said you too.”
“That’s normal.” She chuckles.
“No,” I groan as I stare at the wall opposite me. “It’s not normal. It’s just dumb.”

“No, it’s human and automatic and he won’t think about it, so stop attacking your pillow, and come share the cake with us.”
“It’s time?” I ask excitedly and jump off the bed. “Yes!”
The treat is a delicious sangria cake bought for Lee Rang but it couldn’t be touched till after dinner. I’d blended some kiwi’s and poured them into popsicle molds to be frozen, so I retrieve those and share them as well.
The three of us hang out in the living room, debating baby names, and predicting personalities, so it’s a happy time. I can’t stop thinking about my boss though, who is having a difficult time on account of his father. I had mentioned to Allen that he seemed a bit withdrawn, with the hopes that he would be able to find out what is wrong, but I can now see what the major problem is.
I want to go to him, but I’m quite unsure of how welcome I will be. It would also be a little difficult to speak to Lee Rang about this and besides, I can also predict what she will say and it would be absolutely nothing in favor of my idea.
So I go to bed, turning my plan for the next day over and over in my mind.
The next morning, I awake and refuse to contemplate. I put on a pair of leggings, a pair of sturdy hiking boots then pack some quick sandwiches and sliced fruits into my backpack.
A little while later, I arrive at his apartment building and give him a call so the front desk can let me in.
In no time, I’m standing in front of his door, wringing my hands in anxiety.
He opens it and is shirtless, with nothing on but the unbuttoned, dark tailored trousers I’m certain he wore the previous day to work and his hair is a disheveled, sleepy mess.
He looks so rustic and beautiful… it makes my blood simmer with excitement. But I’m also nervous because I have shown up unannounced.
This sudden visit I can see doesn't make him particularly excited. “Is there something scheduled for today that I forgot about?”
I lift up the backpack I have in hand. “There’s something in here that’s very special, but we can only both receive it after going for a short hike up Mayflower Gulch.
He watches me silently for too long, before his gaze slowly moves to the bag. “What’s in it?” “I can’t say. You can only find out after the hike.”

“Then I have no interest,” he says and turns around.
“Grady!” I call sharply and follow him into the house. “C’mon, just indulge me this once. What’s in the bag is really amazing. You’re going to be so thrilled.”
“I am indulging you,” he says and heads over to his refrigerator to grab a bottle of water. “I just need to know what I’ll be climbing up a mountain for.”
Well, peace of mind is a start, I say to myself but of course, I don’t voice it out loud. I finally give my answer, “Pancakes. The most delicious, fluffy pancakes that have ever been made. I promise you this. After having these pancakes, you just might cry.”
He watches me as though I’m the most peculiar girl he’s ever seen. “Pancakes. You want me to get dressed and go hiking for pancakes that are currently sitting in your backpack?”
I’m about to hesitate but since I have chosen to go this route, which I can see is slowly crumbling from underneath me, I decide to play it out to the very end. “Yes,” I reply. “The hike will clear your mind, and the pancakes will soothe your soul. Trust me.”
Another long silence floats between us as he once again, lifts the bottle to his lips and drains it. “Alright,” he agrees.
I’m stunned. “Alright? You mean...” “I’ll be ready in ten minutes.”


seriously doubt the existence of the life changing pancakes in her backpack, but her proposition for a hike doesn't seem like a bad idea.
I can’t however help but shake my head at the sneaky tactic she is employing to get me to go on the hike with her.
I know why she’s doing this, especially since I mentioned my father the previous evening. Her sudden presence does seem intrusive, but I appreciate it more than I would have expected to. I drive her to the copper mountain and we are soon on our way.
She offers me some pieces of sliced apples, and a grilled chicken sandwich which I accept for the needed energy.
Soon, we are hiking up the trail.
At first, we are both silent as we take in the serenity of the place and it isn’t until twenty minutes into our climb that I speak, “Thanks for this. I think I needed it.”
The smile that curves her lips in response immediately draws one out of me. “I know you did,” she says.
“So I’m guessing that the pancakes are not in the bag? Because so far, I’ve only seen the sandwiches and fruits.”
“Of course not!” she feigns indignation to my amusement. “I’ll get them for you the moment we’re done.”
“You’re going to make them?”
“Maybe,” she replies and increases the length of her strides up the weedy path.

I can’t help but chuckle at her mischief and somehow it turns me on. Just watching her in fact is having the most strenuous effect on my libido. Her hair is held up in a loose ponytail, which leaves the shiny blonde mass a little less tamed than it usually is in the office. It’s somewhat wild now with soft, escaped tendrils from her temples and the nape of her neck, effecting a softness to her that warms my heart. Then there’s the way her leggings and tank top hug every curve of her body. She is‒come to think of it‒just the perfect distraction.
Our hike takes us a total of three and a half hours, and in that time we are mostly quiet, content to just be beside each other. We hike through the trail in the forest, take in the fields of wildflowers and old mining cabins. She asks me to take some pictures of her with the wild flowers and is so shy in posing that I almost can’t stop laughing. She frames her chin with her hands, makes peace signs over her head and even rabbit ears.
It’s all delightful to watch but when she suggests that I be the one to pose for a picture, I keep walking.
“Hey! Grady” she calls. I keep up with my pace.
Then she catches up with me. This earns me a soft hit on my arm. “Why don’t you want to take one?” she asks.
I ponder on the question for a little while and then give her an honest response, “I don’t know. It’s been a very long time since I indulged in things like that.”
She watches me for a few minutes before she speaks again, “When was the last time you went on a vacation?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever been on one. I’ve just always traveled for meetings and conferences.”
“Hmm.” She nods. “Come to think of it I haven’t been on one either in a while. The only one I can remember is from ten years ago. It was the last vacation I had with my dad. We were still living in Houston then, so we went on a trip to SeaWorld in San Antonio. I remember the dolphins and their water show and popsicles and the heat and of course, these monster turkey legs.”
“What?” An amused snort escapes my lips.
“I’m not joking. I still think about them. We didn’t have the time to get any and maybe they weren’t actually that big, but because I was still so little then, I remember them as being gigantic.”
I smile at her story, but then it brings memories to mind of my own father. “When you lost your father,” I ask. “How did you take it?”

She contemplates the question silently before responding, “I was devastated,” she says. “I was quite close to him, and he was always on my side when my mother and sister weren’t. At the time, I think that was what hurt the most. I felt like I was truly alone and would forever be because the one person that was always in my corner was gone.”
“Was that how it played out?” I ask, not missing the sadness in her gaze.
“No.” She laughs softly. “My sister came to my side. Before then, we were at odds but after he died, she for some reason saw it from then onwards as her responsibility to make sure I was always protected. And it’s been that way ever since.”
I retreat into my own mind and thoughts about my own father.
“I know you’re very worried,” she says. “About your father. But he’s still here and there’s still hope. So don’t despair just yet, if that is why you feel so forlorn.”
“My biggest fear,” I tell her. “Is that one day, he’ll be gone and I’ll forever feel like I didn't do enough to help him. And at the same time I’m scared that I will forever resent him for not letting me.”