80- I´m back to myself

“Relax,” I tell her. “We’re speaking plainly, like two adults who so happen to be immensely attracted to each other.”
“Alright, Grady,” she says.
I get straight to the point. “I don’t want a relationship, but I don’t want us to be strangers either. We work together, and will be spending a lot of time together, so let’s make this friendly and simple. How does this offer sound?”
She cocks her head. “Wow, you really are a businessman.” I don’t have a response for that so I just watch her.
“I’ll think about it,” she says. “When I make my decision then I’ll let you know what it is.”
Heat kindles in the pit of my stomach at the defiance in her tone, whether intentional or otherwise. Truthfully, I’m beginning to suspect that beyond the physical connection between us, what I really want no matter how brief is her intimate presence in my life. Admitting this though causes alarm bells to sound through me but I don’t give them any attention. Once in a while, a change in one’s convention I believe is beneficial. “Alright,” I reply, and we continue on cordially with the rest of our dinner.


’m not sure how I feel.
Perhaps this is because his proposition is in an unknown territory for me so at the sudden
and now very real possibility of it, I can’t help but shrink away or as he caught on, to latch onto his words in search of something to find an offense with.
Or perhaps twice is my mental limit of having a sexual tryst without the establishment of some sort of commitment, because the notion of constantly and intentionally offering myself to him without any affectionate attachments whatsoever is too cheap a trade for me to buy into. In fact, the very thought of it renders me incapable of enjoying the rest of my meal which is a shame because the fettuccine and sauce that comes with my meal are especially exquisite.
Instead of the usually charged thrill of being in his presence, I now feel a certain sort of dread and discomfort that I can’t explain so I’m glad when it all eventually comes to an end.
Together, we walk to the entrance of the restaurant and by the time we arrive, I realize that it’s raining. I love the rain, so I take the time to watch its consistent stream, and welcome the coolness that its downpour brings to the night.
And that is when I receive the call.
It’s Lee Rang, so I’m happy to receive it, near desperate for a quick reprieve from the internal turmoil of my current emotional state. I already have my bone of contention ready to be stated to her. I want him, but I’m completely terrified of so easily giving myself to him. We would probably both thoroughly enjoy our time together but I have the nagging feeling that at the end of it all, I’ll be the one left heartbroken.
“Hello?” I answer but I don’t get a response. “Hello? Lee Rang.”
“Let’s go,” Grady says to me as he accepts the umbrella and keys that the valet has just brought over.

“Lee Rang!” I somewhat yell into the phone.
And then I hear her soft groans and labored breathing.
“Blair,” she struggles to speak. “I c-called 911. I don’t feel good and I’m scared. Please come to the hospital…” Her voice cracks. “I-I don’t want to be alone.”
My entire body goes numb with fear. “I’ll be right there!” I swear to her, my brain muddled in panic. “Where... w-where is it? What hospital are they taking you to?”
“I’m in the ambulance. We’re driving to the hospital. We’re going ….” She pauses. I hear her efforts to inhale. “Lee Rang, what’s happening? How much pain are you in?” “The baby’s fine,” she answers wrongly. “They told me that he’ll be fine.”
“Lee Rang what hospital? Please uh... g-give the phone to the paramedic.”
“We’re going to Saint Joseph,” I hear the paramedic say aloud and that is all the info I need to move. I turn around and only then do I realize Grady is holding onto my arm. I see the concern in his eyes at my panic, but I don’t have the time to address it.
“I need to get a cab,” I tell him. “My sister’s in the hospital. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I start to hurry off into the rain but suddenly there’s a strong arm around my waist. It forces me to a stop and then an umbrella comes over my head.”
“Hey!” I begin to protest as I turn around to meet his dark gaze. “I’ll take you there.”
It suddenly hits me then that he has a car, but for some reason I never thought to solicit his help. Tears fill my eyes. “Okay. Thank you.” I nod in gratitude and hurry with him towards his waiting car.
Fifteen minutes later, we arrive at the Emergency Room at Saint Joseph and are promptly directed to the multi-patient room that she has been moved to.
We are soon able to locate her amidst the other ER patients and find a nurse administering an IV to her.
I immediately hurry over, trying my best to keep calm but it’s nearly impossible.
“Is she all right? ’ I ask the moment I reach the nurse. I look down at my sister and see that she’s sleeping. “How is she doing?” I ask after introducing myself as her relative.

“She’s doing okay,” the nurse answers. “The doctor has examined her and says that it’s uterine fibroids.”
My heart contracts. “What about her baby?”
“Her doctor’s ordered a couple of tests and after they come in, then the diagnosis will be made. For now though, her baby is doing okay. Fibroids are not unusual with pregnancy and can be appropriately handled if they are found to be threatening. So for now, he has told her to focus on resting. We have administered a mild pain medication to help her relax, so she will be able to calmly pass the night.”
Suddenly, I feel a warm hand on my arm and immediately relax into the body behind it. I don’t need to turn around to meet his gaze, so I shamelessly accept the momentary consolation so that I can get myself together.
“She’ll be fine,” he says softly to me. “Breathe.”
Seeing my sister lying on the bed, unmoving and unconscious brings back the devastating memories of the time we had lost our mother.