Chapter Thirty-six

Bram didn’t know what to do. So, he knelt there, pressing his lips together. As she wrapped her arms around her chest, she stood, walking into the kitchen. Bram decided to give her some space, figuring that if she wanted or needed anything from him, she would let him know. Grabbing the bags and beer, he set to putting everything away. He opened a beer, looking at where she was sitting at the table, still crying. He thought she would be almost done, but now that they were home, the damn of tears seemed to have broke open and didn’t seem ready to stop.

Devon came back out, and when he offered her hugs, she wrapped herself around him. He stood there, awkwardly, patting her back. Bram let that continue, but after a few minutes he swooped in to save his son who was looking completely uncomfortable. “Alright, buddy. I’m going to need you to get off to bed. Can you tuck yourself in, please?”

“Can I sleep in your room, dad?” Devon looked up, his blue eyes wide and hopeful.

“Yeah, I’m going to stay out here with Izabella until she’s ready for bed.” Mussing Devon’s hair, he hugged him close, placing a kiss on the top of his head. “Can I put a movie or something on? Help you think about something else for a while. I think you’re internalizing the trauma right now, and I don’t think you’re doing yourself any good. I want to help, but I don’t know what to do.”

Half falling out of her chair, half throwing herself at him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and crawled into his lap. “I don’t want to be alone. I’m sorry, I just can’t…” Her voice trailed off, and he held her close again. She had a bruise across her forehead and on the back of her neck. The guy had definitely manhandled her. Bram rubbed the bruise on the back of her neck, hoping to help it feel better. “Hey, I’m going to lift you into my arms, and carry you to the couch. Then we can sit down. We don’t have to watch anything, but I’m going to put something on, so that we’re not sitting in the quiet. Okay.” She nodded, not letting him go.

He lifted her into his arms, and grabbed his beer, heading toward the couch. “I feel disgusting and dirty.” He froze. His mind went in a million different directions, but he kept quiet. The last thing she needed right now was him making the wrong comment. “Will you stay in the bathroom if I shower?”

“I can. If that will make you feel better.” His shower was not frosted like in the hotel though. Changing direction, Bram brought her into the bathroom and set her on the closed toilet while he turned on the warm water and put out a towel. “Do you want me to grab some more clothes for you? You might feel better if we get you into something else. All that liquor could be bothering you too.”

“I put my clothes all out. I think all I have is a long sleeve pajama set and a tank with mini shorts.” She looked away, staring at the floor.

“Do you want the shorts and one of my shirts?” He asked, crouching in front of her. His hand rubbed her arm, trying to make sure she was comfortable.

She looked away, clearly feeling ashamed, “You’ve already done so… So. Much.”

“That’s okay. I want to.” He pressed her hair back. “Hey, you get undressed and get in the shower. I’ll go get clothes, just really quick, and by the time you are in the shower and count to twenty, I’ll be back. I’m going to sit in that corner, but I’ll talk to you so you can hear me. You don’t need me looking into the shower while you wash. It’ll just make you more uncomfortable.” She nodded, agreeing.

Following his instruction, she did as he said, and just as he was leaving his room with the shirt in hand, he heard the door slide open and then closed. Knocking on the door gently, he opened it just a smidge, “You’re in the shower, right?”

“Yeah.” She answered back.

“’Kay. I’m going to put everything on the countertop, but I promise, I’m not looking. If you decide you want me to leave, I can do that. You are allowed to change your mind or decide you need something different. ‘Kay.”

“Bram?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank you. I’m sorry. I never should have suggested—” Her voice started to trail off and Bram, true to his word, didn’t look into the shower.

“Suggesting to go to the store to pick up snacks wasn’t the problem, Iz.” He stated in a calm and cool voice. “I didn’t want you to go alone, because there are bad people in the world. Especially here. I just wanted to make sure you were safe. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you better.” He truly meant those words. It never should have gotten to the that point. When everything had started, Devon had been his main concern. And that was why he hadn’t gotten to Izabella in time. The shower door opened, and her head came out, Bram met her eyes, and they were shining at him.

“It wasn’t your fault.” She said seriously. “You didn’t let me go alone, even though I suggested it. And when everything happened, you could have just hid or even run. But you didn’t.” She stared at him, and he had to turn away. “Do you know what they would have done if you didn’t stop them? Did you see what they were doing?”

He did.

Instead, he shook his head. “It happened too fast. I know they were holding you down. Did they…” His voice cracked. This was the one thing he didn’t know. He saw her pulling up her shorts when they let her go. But he didn’t know what happened before that.

“No. They didn’t get to. But it was so close.” Her eyes brimmed with tears and her head disappeared back in the shower.

He took a deep breath and sighed. It wasn’t good, but it was better than it could have been. At least that wouldn’t haunt her forever. “You know, when I was a kid, my nannies used to do some weird things to me.” He was trying to fill the silence, and Bram could tell by the way she froze in the shower that she was listening. He wanted her to know she wasn’t alone. “I was twelve the first time one decided that I was man enough to handle them. I had no idea what was going on, but I was too scared to say or do anything. My parents had always taught me respect. You don’t talk back to your elders, and you don’t hurt women. Unless they want you to.” He sighed. “I tried to stop her, but when my mother found out that I yelled at my own nanny, despite what she was trying to do with me, she sent my father to beat me within an inch of my life. There’s a reason I’ve always had a chip on my shoulder about the women who are watching Devon. I don’t feel like I can trust them, and the moment I think they could possibly try to hurt him, I go into this dark mode I can’t control. This is probably something I should have told you before allowing you to become part of our lives, but it’s not an easy thing to talk about. Tyler is literally the only person who knows.”

Bram hated that this is what was pulling her out of her funk. He didn’t want to look, or seem, vulnerable in front of her.

“I’m so sorry, Bram.” Her voice was small, and half drowned out by the running water.