THERE, I SAID IT!

**Rebecca’s story**

I knew it would be hard, but at the same time, I knew I wasn’t alone.
“Miss Holland, in front of you is an exercise table I use on patients who have mobility difficulties. So I’m going to put you on that table too,” the doctor explained, and I could already hear my heart pounding to break my chest. I didn’t know if it would be painful, or how long the recovery would take. All I knew was that in the next few seconds, we’d get started. “We need to start with some light warm-up exercises. Dominic, will you help me, please? To get her on the table?”
Dominic picked me up so lightly. On impulse, I wrapped my arms around his neck, leaning my head up against his chest. I didn’t need to do that. I just sensed I had to. He was like a magnet that was inevitably luring me in. My body was putting up no resistance. It seemed so perfectly normal, this nearness between us.
I often tried to explain to myself why I was so attracted to him. And it wasn’t just that he saved me, it was something else. I let myself follow his moves.
He gently laid me down on the table, facing up.
It followed exactly what I feared. The doctor had come closer and flexed my right leg. An excruciating twinge of pain raced through my body. Dominic reacted by holding my hand. I was literally crying, and after a few more flexes, I was begging the doctor to stop.
The pain was too much to bear, and somehow I was squeezing Dominic’s hand tightly.
“Relax, Miss Holland! I only raised your leg an inch. I realize it might be painful.
“I’m trying, doctor, but it hurts so bad.”
I could feel the doctor trying to make everything as comfortable as possible and with as little pain as he could.
He wanted to help me, and I didn’t make it easy for him. However, he didn’t let my crying affect him and the bending continued for about half an hour, with brief breaks every ten minutes. By the end of the session, I was exhausted.
“I’m done for the day. It would be good to see you every day. At first there will be half-hour sessions, then we will intensify them and by the end of these two weeks, I hope you will be able to walk again.”
“Thank you, doctor Rogers,” I heard Dominic’s jovial voice, then he helped me off the table. With the same gentle movements, he sat me back down in my wheelchair.
“Just doing my job to help a friend. And thank me when this is all over”
As soon as we said goodbye and got to the car, Dominic spoke to me again.
“How are you feeling, Rebecca?”
“Tired...” I mumbled, leaning my head back.
“I understand. Maybe after we get home, you can take a shower and get some sleep. That way, you’ll get your strength back.”
“That doesn’t sound bad at all...”
And it really was a good idea. In those few minutes back home I had really closed my eyes, but when the car engine stopped, I knew we had arrived. Just as skillfully, Dominic got me out of the car and back in the wheelchair we went into the house.
He left me in the middle of the living room, looking a little dazed.
“I’ll be right back. I’ll be in the kitchen to make you some tea so you can rest.”
“Dominic...”
He was on the verge of leaving when my voice made him stop. I realized I had so much to tell him, to thank him for. I might be a rough woman, with all the recent happenings, the attack, my inability to walk and see my loss of memory and the many sleepless nights because of nightmares and now seeing this doctor who was trying to heal me in such a short amount of time. In between all of this madness, Dominic found the time to look after me, talk to me, empathize with my worries and be there when my nights became overwhelming. He was the man any woman would desire. I wonder why that made me jealous? Could it be that I wanted to be that woman without knowing it?
“Yes, Rebecca...” My name on his lips sounded like a love song to my heart.
“I wanted to thank you for all you have done for me”
I wished I could have the courage to ask him the thing I’d made him turn around for. It was something I was curious about. What was the worst that could happen? To refuse me... “Can I ask you a favor?”
“Anything you want,” he seemed eager, sensing him approaching me.
“I just don’t know how to tell you this...” I was trying to get the words out, but they were barely coming out.
“Now you had me wondering” I sensed he was actually smiling.
“Okay, here’s the thing... Can I... touch your face? I want to... get to know you a little better... I mean, I know what Dominic Stone looks like... I just...”
“Ok!” His willingness to do this surprised me. He really had nothing to hide. I wasn’t an expert in such facial recognition as real blind people would have, but somehow I felt the need to be familiar with his features.
Suddenly he came closer, knelt in front of my wheelchair and took my hands in his, placing them on his face. His fragrance shocked and engulfed me. Again, that delicious amber scent that had haunted me from the moment he first approached. Only this time, it was different. The closeness between us was warmer now, more inviting, and the sensation of touching his cheeks left me gasping for air. Without flinching, I lowered my shy fingers to his mouth. He responded with a smile as I felt the corners of his lips curl. His facial hair left sweet sensations in my palms, wanting to explore more. I could forget my morality and kiss him right now. But I didn’t even know how he felt about me. Although I could hear his heart pounding faster than usual, that didn’t mean he felt attracted to me. I was a blind and incapacitated woman. Because that’s what I was.
Horror and fear suddenly swept over me, making my hands shake and tears fall. Would I ever be a whole woman?
I cared so much for this man, but he would just see me as the one who had rescued. Because he found me there, almost dead, he had a moral duty to me. Or at least that was how I imagined he felt.
Sensing my unease, he stopped my wandering hands on his face. He must have been watching me, because everything was silent and I could feel his eyes staring. They were warming my core, trying to ease my fears. It was working. I calmed down.
His first words were meant to reassure me, but even now I wondered if he had said them out of obligation.
“It’s okay now, Rebecca! I’m right there with you!” But my answer was also the one that first came to mind.
“For how long, Dominic?”
And though he seemed surprised, perhaps I was the most puzzled.
“As long as you will have me!”
His answer left me completely unguarded. I wasn’t really expecting that. How was I supposed to respond?
I couldn’t involve him in my life before the attack. It was too dangerous. But most of all, I couldn’t even remember if I had anyone in my life. Which seemed very bizarre to me, since Declan had clarified that only the attack was missing from my mind. I wasn’t trying to unravel that now. I had come to another, more painful conclusion. If only I had someone right now to tell that. Not Dominic. However, his statement went unanswered.
“Allow me to help you get to your room!” It was better that way than to start opening myself up. It wasn’t the time. Even though deep inside, my heart would beat twice as fast when he would be around. It took me so many days to realize that I felt more than gratitude for Dominic. And now what? All my plans would be ruined if I let him take over my life. But what orders could I give my heart? I had people around me who were probably worried about me by now. I had to find a way to let them know. Even though my life was now enriched with a man for whom my heart beat faster. I had responsibilities and assignments that couldn’t wait.
“Thank you...”
The moment I thanked him, I felt him push into my wheelchair. I loved those arms. And I didn’t understand why my mind was wandering where it shouldn’t. His powerful arms and what he could do with them besides help me move. Whenever I was down, they would pick me up and provide a safe place to settle. His embrace. Each time my eyes cried, they would wipe away the tears. I felt like I had been on a rollercoaster. Today, he was giving me reasons to believe he had feelings for me. But tomorrow it was like we were complete strangers. One minute he was so considerate, the next he was so serious. At this point, I felt totally confused. However, there was one thing that didn’t confuse me anymore and that was definitely my love for him. Because, whether he was Dominic Stone, I was in love with this man. There I said it!