I WAS GOING MAD

**Dominic’s story**

I rushed out of the office, cursing my vulnerability in front of her. I wished everything had taken a different turn, and I felt in my whole body she sensed the same. There was nothing left for me to do but go back to Declan. He was still where I left him, at the bar.
“Oh my God, man, you really look bad,” he said immediately when he saw me so devastated. I stared at him for a few seconds.
“Wow, thanks for the appreciation. It’s just that I feel like I can’t hold out much longer, Declan. I’ve almost made her mine.”
“You did what? And her?” Suddenly, things didn’t seem so funny.
“I swear she wants me too, Declan. But until I feel she wants me with all her heart, until it all comes from her, I won’t take a step. Even if it burns me up inside like a torch.
“Interesting approach, you wolves, I mean. We humans take what we like immediately.”
“And that’s your big mistake,” I added, still thinking about how willing Rebecca was in that office.
“Whatever. What are you going to do now? Go back to New York?”
“Not yet. I feel like Rebecca still has a lot to say.”
“So, you’re not giving up. You’re still hoping.”
“I can’t give up. And it’s not hope, Declan. I feel she’ s very close to giving herself to me.”
“Okay, then you can just go somewhere else and suffer. Here, my dear friend, I’m trying to make some connections with a few ladies.”
“Are you for real now?” But the look in his eyes convinced me he was telling the truth. So, I threw my hands in the air and walked away.
Is this what suffering felt like? Because if it was, I could feel it choking me. I was so close to her and yet so far away. Nothing I felt could bring me anywhere near her.
Humans used to think that destiny was something one made for oneself, with their own hands, but I think we werewolves met it somewhere at a crossroads. It was very important that I could take it from that point. And there was no way I was going to let it slip away. Rebecca was part of my destiny, or destiny itself. Even though I had moments where I felt like everything was slipping through my fingers, I placed all my hope in the hands of that destiny that I had taken from the Moon Goddess myself.
That's pretty much what happened to me. And for no particular reason, my destiny, Rebecca, though she knew who I was, didn’t know whether to stick around or stay away. I felt her open, willing to try, but at the same time, I felt her fear and doubt.
I knew from the first moment I saw her, helpless, scared and full of blood, that she was my Luna. And though there could be many obstacles between us, I got convinced that the Moon Goddess would help us. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have given her to me. Then why did I feel so powerless? Why did I feel my past would keep us apart?
“Dominic...” Declan had followed me to the back garden of the hotel, just below Rebecca’s balcony.
“That’s where she’s staying. I can smell her,” I said in a sad voice, sighing deeply.
“Wow, is that connection so strong that you can feel her even when she’s not there?” his curiosity slightly amused me.
“I feel her everywhere and in everything, Declan. But at the same time, I feel how a past I haven’t made peace with yet is keeping us from each other”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I turned my eyes to him. He really was willing to listen to me.
“My most feared enemy has appeared, Declan, and I don’t know why he did this to hurt her.”
“Enemy? But you’re a rogue. Do you have enemies?”
“I wasn’t always a rogue and you know that. My father made a huge mistake turning me and letting Jane die. But he had no choice. I never told you what happened to my parents, did I?” I hadn’t really come to terms with the idea and the cruelty of the way Zack ended their lives, either.
“No, you didn’t. But if you think it’s too much for you, maybe you don’t have to tell me” A loyal friend would say that and Declan had been that way for many years. But my father’s gift had made me immortal and, in the future, he too will have to go. That was always my curse.
“It’s okay. I really need to vent. You know my mother was human. And after the tragedy that left me without Jane, my father made the mistake of carrying her in his arms to the gates of the man who would become their executioner.” It was only then that Declan understood where I was going.
“You mean Jane’s father killed them?”
“In a truly barbaric way. My father thought he was doing a good thing by carrying her himself and arranging the funeral, but he didn’t count on Zack’s insanity and grief at losing his daughter to me. Especially since he didn’t approve of our relationship. And since father had made a choice, me, Zack planned his revenge very well. Not for a moment did he give him a hint that he had dark thoughts. There was a time when he pretended to be hurt, grieving, when in fact he had so much hatred in him that at the end of the plan he was going to retaliate in a savage way. My parents never knew that I had witnessed their torment, but because I was just a boy and could not measure myself against the werewolves sent to massacre them, I did nothing about it. I didn’t rise to their level to be able to stand up to them and defend my parents.”
I have long since buried the events of that time, but perhaps if I wanted revenge, I needed to remember them. Keeping the flame of this hate burning.
“Dominic, I’m really sorry. If I could help you, you know I would, but your world is way beyond me.”
“My dear friend, you’ve helped me enormously by saving Rebecca’s life.” I heaved a deep sigh, then continued. I had to end this ordeal once and for all and start working out the details of my revenge. “Deceiving them he was their friend, he succeeded and lured them to the very spot where we were attacked and Jane died. I happened to be there because I used to go over there to grieve. When I saw them, I hid. Then Zack’s werewolves, with himself in charge, attacked my parents mercilessly, first my father, then my mother. They left her nearly dead and my father could not help her. He got too wounded to move to be able to save her.”
“Exactly what happened to you and Jane,” Declan added. It was always hard for me to accept that, especially since I wasn’t strong enough to intervene.
“Although at the time I had suppressed my grief and hatred of the man who had done this, I have not forgotten. I vowed he would pay. But in the meantime, Rebecca came along and already an attempt had been made on her life. Tom, her fiancé, was part of Zack’s pack. But I still don’t know why he betrayed him to the extent of killing Jane, his daughter.”
“Wow, my friend, you’ve got a lot to work out and solve. Does Rebecca know all this?”
“That’s exactly the problem, that she knows and she’s very confused,” I said, thinking about her and the fact that she might already be back in the room. I raised my eyes and convinced myself that she was.
“Well then, my advice, go to her and explain. Explain until she understands and joins you.”
Those were Declan’s last words. I watched him as he walked back to his hotel room. Maybe he was right.
Finally, I went to my suite. I really needed a shower. It wasn’t hard to get it ready; it was hard to get in it and remember what happened last time in my house, in my bathroom. My muscles tensed, thinking about how close we had come. Every kiss, every touch, and every whisper were sending shivers through my body.
I was trying so damn hard to keep a clear head, but all I could do was imagine her with me, caressing her, tracing lines of fire and untamed passion along her every curve. I realized I was having trouble taking a simple shower. The plan was to wash up and go to bed. I got hardened just thinking about her. I growled through my teeth and slammed my fist against the glass shower wall in an act of desperation. Everything vibrated under my hit, but honestly, I couldn’t care less. Definitely I was going out of my mind. Just had to leave the room immediately to get some air, or I was going mad.