Confusion

Eventually, Aaron pulled the car to a stop in front of her house. All of the lights were out, and Cadence glanced at the clock on the dash. She'd had no idea it was 11:30. Despite her vow of silence, she decided she would have to speak eventually. She wasn't ready to get out of the car just yet, not as long as he was holding her hand. "Thanks for driving me home," she said quietly.
"Of course," he replied, obviously still lost in thought. He looked at her briefly but then directed his gaze back out the windshield.
"What time are we leaving tomorrow?" she asked, placing her free hand gently on his arm where it rested on the console.
He gave her his attention then, as if the simple question had brought him back to reality. "I want to make sure everyone is well enough to move, but probably in the early afternoon."
"Okay," she nodded. She glanced down at the floorboards then, wondering if her parents would be okay with not getting to see her very much.
"Is that all right?" he asked.
"Yes, it's fine. I just... it's so hard to be here. Nothing is what it was. No one seems to understand... anything. Yes, going home is a good idea," she explained, looking back at him then.
"I'm sorry it's been such a rough day," he apologized, carefully moving a loose strand of hair back behind her ear, his fingers warming her cheek with the slight contact. "And I'm sorry I was a pain in the ass earlier."
Cadence chuckled at the word he’d used to describe himself, but then, the memory of Jack’s face when Aaron had shot him filled her mind. He’d been so terrified, and it was clear Vampires could feel pain. "I can't believe you shot Jack," she said, nodding and focusing her eyes back on the floorboard.
"He's fine," Aaron declared, his hand still playing with her hair. "It was just a flesh wound."
The pop culture reference was not lost on Cadence, but she was surprised to hear Aaron quoting Monty Python. She was content to change the subject. "I hate arguing with you," she said most sincerely, meeting his eyes.
"Me, too," he replied. "But I'm sure we will do it again. Probably sooner rather than later."
"Why?" she asked, taking his other hand in hers. "Why are we both so stinking stubborn?"
"I don't know," Aaron admitted. "Just the nature of the beast, I guess. But you don't argue with me over stupid things, at least. It's just, we're both leaders, so we're going to butt heads sometimes."
"But I'm not a leader, not yet," Cadence reminded him, leaning in even closer to him.
"You will be; I'm almost certain of that. Besides, leadership isn't a position. You command the field when you're on it, and I'm not used to that. We'll figure it out." He leaned into her as well so that they were just inches from each other.
Cadence inhaled, breathing him in. He let go of her hand with his left and placed it gently on the back of her neck, his thumb rubbing her cheek. Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes focused in on his lips. She wanted to taste them again.
Okay," she said quietly. "I don't want to argue with you. Ever again."
"Then don't," he said. He leaned forward, but his lips grazed her forehead, not her mouth.
Irritated, she couldn’t help but say, "But sometimes you're wrong.”
Aaron arched an eyebrow, and Cadence shrugged before she took charge of the situation.
Raising her lips to meet his, she kissed him, sweetly at first, and then more passionately. She parted her lips and tasted him hungrily, all of the other thoughts that had consumed her mind all day fell away as she lost herself in the taste of him.
His lips moved to her ear and then her neck. The fire within her was lit now, flaming, even, and she remembered how close they had been to something happenng when they were in that hotel room together, in Nebraska.
How she’d longed to consume him then.
But he’d had to leave.
Now, however, was there anything stopping them?
Not that she knew of.
With Aaron’s mouth still on her neck, his hand tangled in her hair, she couldn’t help but whisper, "You can touch me.” She nipped his ear with her teeth.
"I am touching you," he breathed into her neck.
Was he being obtuse on purpose? Just to annoy her.
Aaron pulled back just a bit, as if he was done kissing her, but Cadence wasn’t ready to let him go, so she caught his lips with hers.
At the same time, she clasped his hand with hers, moving it to her breast. "That's not what I meant," she explained, releasing his lips as placed his hand exactly where she wanted it.
Aaron pulled back from her then. "Cadence," he said, still only inches from her face, pulling his hand away but placing it back on the side of her face. "I don’t think this is a good idea. Not right now, anyway.”
She considered his words but couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed. "Okay," she said, though it came out more of a question. The hope that he’d come inside with her began to melt away.
Still, despite his words, he was still staring into her eyes. He still looked like he wanted to kiss her. “Why isn’t it a good idea?” she asked, confused but hopeful he’d give in and kiss her some more.
Aaron slowly shook his head. “It’s hard to explain. I just… don’t want to fuck this up, that’s all.” He scooted back a little bit further, dropping his hand to her arm. “I'm pretty having sex in the front seat of a Lamborghini parked in front of your parents' house isn’t the best idea either one of us has ever had.”
She couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “Well, you never know until you try,” she replied.
He tipped his head to the side and slowly shook it at her. “I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t work right, and you’d end up honking the horn with your ass. As if your mother isn’t already spying on us.
Her eyes went to the house. Could her mom see that far? A chill went down her spine.
Maybe he had a point….
With a deep breath, she asked, "Do you want to come in?" praying she didn’t scare him away. If he was only using this car situation as an excuse, then maybe she should’ve just let it go before she became even more disappointed.
Aaron’s eyes widened, and for a moment, she thought she saw a flicker of fear before it faded.. "I don't think that's a good idea, either." he cautioned.
Cadence felt her cheeks turning red with embarrassment. She’d just propositioned him, and he was turning her down.
“I mean, we don't have to do anything," she backpedaled, "I just... it's hard sleeping in there. You know, so many memories." She looked down at the console and not at him anymore. Was she using her dead friends as an excuse to get out of admitting how badly she wanted to have sex with her boss?
Classy.
Aaron sat fully back in his seat now, leaving a good foot of space between them. "I know, Cadence. I'm sorry. But I don't think I could sleep with you again and not sleep with you," he said, no longer touching her.
Cadence considered his response and tried to determine if it might actually be good news in a way. Sure, he was turning her down, right now…. But didn’t that mean he wanted to sleep with her—and by sleep with her, that meant sex. And if so, wasn’t that a good thing?
Still, that wasn’t going to do anything to relieve the permanent ache she’d been dealing with between her legs for the last few weeks or longer….
What could she say, though. Clearly, she was no seductress. "All right." She moved back away from him, too, straightening her clothes, even though he hadn’t touched her long enough to mess anything up.
Aaron looked away from her, his eyes focused out the windshield. There was obviously something more to this that he wasn’t telling her, and Cadence wanted to know what it was.
But she also wanted him to feel comfortable opening up to her, too, and he must not at the moment, or he would’ve just told her what the deal was, rather than muttering, “Cadence, I’m sorry,” without even turning his head in her direction.
She suddenly felt bad for even putting him in that position. Maybe sex was difficult for him, since his wife died? She hadn’t stopped to think about it that way, but now that Jack was gone, she could sort of understand. Not that it was the same.
And she wasn’t going to let the death of the one man she’d been with slow her down from getting with someone else she cared about as much as she did Aaron
But everyone was different. Maybe he had something on his mind he couldn’t disclose to her just yet.
Feeling very selfish, she said, "It's okay. You're right. My parents are home.... My sister might hear. It's fine."
They sat in silence for a moment, Cadence glancing at the door handle several times, thinking she should just get out of the car. But she couldn't seem to do it. The idea of being away from him again made her feel cold and alone.
Finally, Aaron spoke up, though his voice was still even quieter than usual. "Cadence, will you go out with me?"
Her forehead creased as she tried to decipher what that meant. “Do you mean… go out with you… on a date?”
"Yes," he confirmed. "You know, like regular people. Are you busy Wednesday evening?"
Cadence thought for a second, still trying to figure out what was happening. It really didn't matter what she had planned on Wednesday. She would find a way to be free. Then, she realized what Wednesday was. "That's Christmas Eve," she replied.
He nodded, obviously already aware. "I know. It's just, I have to go out of town tomorrow evening, and I won't be back until Wednesday. So, I won't be available until..."
"Yes, Wednesday is perfect," she chimed in emphatically, not giving him a chance to change his mind.
"Are you sure?" he asked. “Cause you kind of sounded like that was a problem before.”
"Yes, I’m sure." She did her best not to sound too overly excited about it, but the idea that they could actually go on a date, like normal people, meant that they might have a change to actually have a relationship and not… whatever the hell this was.
"Well, okay then," he replied, returning her smile. "Wednesday it is, then."
“Cool.” She suddenly couldn't meet his eyes again. The gleaming door handle recaptured her attention, and she felt that it would be very smart to get out of the car. She stayed. "Where are you going tomorrow?"
"Phoenix," he replied. "Same song, different verse."
"Rogue that the locals can't catch?" she clarified.
"Yep, pretty much," he said nonchalantly.
"Are you hunting or consulting?" she asked, finally turning to fully face him. The more questions she asked, the longer she could stay with him.
He was looking at her again now, too. Apparently, whatever had him lost in his thoughts a few minutes ago had finally cleared up. "Consulting. I try not to get too involved when we go out of state."
"You mean, like, when you come to Iowa?" she asked, smirking at him as a giggle escaped her lips.
"Well, that's a little different. Technically, this is still part of my territory.”
“Territory?” she echoed. “I thought the whole world was your territory.”
“It is, but I have area leaders, too—it’s complicated. Besides, protecting you was something I was charged with many, many years ago.” Aaron shook his head slightly, and she realized he’d said something he hadn’t meant to.
She looked at him, eyes wide. “What do you mean?”
"We'll talk about that some other time.” His tone was dismissive. He glancing at his watch as if the time on the dashboard might not be correct—or the clock in his eye.
"All right," she said quietly. She had a feeling it had something to do with her grandparents. But the questions could wait. There was no reason to upset him again. “I guess you have a date to plan then," she said, her eyebrows raised.
"I guess I do," he smiled back at her.
"You need a secretary," she offered. "I don't know how you schedule all of the things you do."
"Well," he started, looking at her out of the corner of his eye, "most of the time... my secretary takes care of all of that."
"You have a secretary?" she asked, hearing the shock in her own voice.
"Yes?" he questioned, his tone implying he didn’t understand why she had assumed he didn’t.
"Why didn't you ever mention her before? It is a her, right? Is she hot?"
Aaron burst out laughing. "You're gonna regret that question. I don't know. It never came up. She's retired, and she works from home, so it's not like I should have taken you into my office and introduced you or anything. I do have a receptionist, too. Also a nice older woman."
Cadence shook her head slowly. "Last names and secretaries. All in the same day. Who is she?" she asked, but then the answer occurred to her on its own. "My grandma!" she exclaimed. "That's how my parents always know everything, isn't it?"
"Maybe," he replied, giving her an impish look.
"You're lucky you're so damn cute," she said under her breath. "Anything else I need to know about?"
"Not that I can think of," he said after a pause of consideration. "There's just too much information for us to dump it on newbies all at once."
She nodded in agreement. This was not the first time she’d heard something to that extent. "It is a lot to take in." Once again, she found herself drawn to the door handle. "Well, I should probably go," she said taking a deep sigh. She didn’t want to. She wanted to stay with him.
Forever.
Why was she having such a hard time pulling away from him?
She couldn’t figure it out, but it seemed like… they were supposed to be together, like she hadn’t just met him a few weeks ago. Like, somehow, he’d always been there.
Aaron nodded, saying nothing.
Obviously, he wasn’t as concerned about her leaving as she was.
"Thank you, for everything today. Well, not everything. I mean, not for shooting Jack." She wasn't looking directly at him, but she was pretty sure she heard him snicker. It did sound a bit humorous when she said it in that context. "But thank you for everything else." She was looking at him again now. "Thank you for going to Kash's house with me, for driving me around, for helping me get through that speech." Her mind lingered on the words of the speech for just a second before she continued. "Thank you for being there for me."
Aaron gave her a small smile and nodded. "Of course. That’s… what I do."
"Okay," Cadence nodded, trying not to look directly at him for fear she might lose control of herself again. Again, she thought about what Jack had taught her, the lesson she had tried to reiterate in her speech today. Her hand was on the door handle. She knew common sense said, "get out of the car now!"
And yet she did not. Her mouth began to move again, a mess of thoughts just spilling out, as if he had given her some sort of truth serum. "You know how, in my speech, I talked about how Jack was always trying to spread around 'the good?'" she asked glancing at him to see if he was following.
He nodded. “Yeah….”
Against her better judgment, she continued. "I just... I've lost a lot of people lately. Sometimes we don't get a second chance to do, or say, something that we really feel like people should know. And, even though it's not a big deal--it really doesn't have to be a big deal--and I don't want you to say anything back--I really don't--I just think you should know--I want you to know. That… I’m pretty sure… I’m falling in love with you.”
Cadence’s eyes widened in a horror of her own making as she asked herself why she had said that.
It really wasn’t a good idea. “Okay, then. Good night!" With that, she bounded out the door, not really even giving him a chance to respond.
"Cadence!"
It must have taken him a few seconds to process what she had actually said. If he was half as shocked as she was, then it was no wonder he needed to process.
She was quick and rushed up the steps, through the door, and out of sight before he could even contemplate chasing her down.
Once inside, she took a few deep breaths and wondered why he hadn’t said anything through the IAC.
She figured he still couldn’t come up with a suitable response.
Was she the dumbest person in the world? What was wrong with her?
It was done with now, and there was nothing she could do to take it back….
Stupid!