Broken
Cadence covered the short distance back to her apartment building as quickly as she could. Hopeful that the tears would wait until she reached the solace of her room to start again, she avoided contact with everyone in the lobby as she made her way to the elevator and climbed to the twenty-second floor. She was slightly distracted by the number of messages she was receiving on the IAC, and though many of them were positive, she decided to turn it off. It would be better if she simply did not think about tonight’s events at all.
She wasn’t sure which emotion was the hardest to accept—her disappointment in herself for fucking up and letting Aaron and the rest of the team down or the pain she felt in her heart at hearing him say he didn’t want to see her.
Sniffling, she wiped her nose on the back of her hand and stared at the lights. It seemed like the elevator was taking forever, and all she wanted to do was go bury her head under the pillows.
Aaron was right. She needed to go home.
And probably shouldn’t come back.
She clearly was not cut out for this kind of life, and if she had to be around him all the time but not touch him, well, she’d made it pretty clear tonight by her own actions that was nearly impossible.
Sucking her bottom lip into her mouth, she bit down on it, feeling embarrassment roll over her. “Why the hell did you kiss him?” she mumbled under her breath. “Idiot.”
After what seemed like an eternity, the elevator door finally opened. Stepping out of the elevator, she was surprised to see Christian leaning against her apartment door. He was still wearing the same clothes he had on for the hunt. He looked almost as despondent as she felt, and even though she was in no mood to discuss the events that had transpired, she was happy to see him.
As she approached, he opened his arms, and she let him envelop her, burying her head in his chest, her tears held back only by sheer will power. He smelled of leather and a slight hint of cigarette smoke, something Cadence had never noticed before. Perhaps her renegade actions had driven him to lighting up. His arms were strong, and she felt solace in his embrace.
He wasn’t Aaron, but at the moment… he was a person… and that would do.
After a few moments, Christian spoke, concern and sympathy evident in his tone. “You holding up?”
Cadence pulled back a step, but he did not loosen his grip around her. “I’ll be all right,” she said, hoping it was true. He couldn’t have known anything had happened between her and Aaron personally, so he must just be concerned that she had gotten in trouble.
“Good,” he replied, his hands planted firmly on her lower back as he kept her body close to his. “What you did out there tonight was incredible. I’ve never seen anything like it. To think that it wasn’t completely appreciated makes me furious. I just wanted to make sure you are all right, that Aaron didn’t tear you down too much, and to let you know that I, for one, am convinced that you are a superhero.”
A chuckle escaped her lips, despite the agony she was otherwise experiencing. She didn’t feel like a superhero, not right now anyway. “Thank you,” she said, using the same quiet tone he had spoken in. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your support.”
It was getting late, and Cadence was tired. She was also very aware that Aaron could return to his apartment at any moment, and while she honestly didn’t care if he saw her talking to Christian or not, she was not prepared to have to see him again so soon. She tried pulling away again, and this time Christian allowed her to, moving his hand to her hip. For reasons unbeknownst to her, she did not push his hand away.
She dug in her pocket for her key, absently thinking about how much easier it would be when they updated the lock on her door so she could use her IAC. Inserting the key, she pushed the door slightly ajar, assuming he would say goodnight.
But he didn’t seem to be leaving, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
Cadence had never felt more alone in the world than she had as she’d been walking back to the apartment building. And here was an attractive man who’d just paid her a huge compliment showing her interest, letting her know that she had the option not to be alone.
Would it be easier to forget about Aaron with a gallon of ice cream and a long soak in the tub… or with Christian??
Fully aware that his hand was now caressing her side, she hesitated for a brief second, knowing that inviting him in would complicate matters. Yet, the idea that she didn’t have to be alone, that someone wanted her, was compelling.
Would it hurt to invite him inside for a bit? Just to have some company?
Taking a deep breath, she asked, “Would you like to come in for a few minutes?”
Christian took her words to be more than just an invitation to come in for a chat. Leaning forward, he brought his lips down on hers hungrily. With one hand, he pushed the door open the rest of the way, gently guiding her inside of the apartment with the other.
Cadence knew she should push him away. His tongue probed into her mouth, leaving the taste of mint and cigarettes. He was being aggressive, and kissing him was nothing like kissing Aaron.
But it was satisfying in the same way slamming one’s fist into a wall after an argument was satisfying. The release of pent up anger came out as aggression as she found herself not only refusing to resist but pulling him more tightly to her.
Christian continued to kiss her, his hands gliding beneath her leather jacket to pull at her shirt as he lead her over to the couch, not bothering to turn on the light. He released her lips only long enough to allow her to drop down on the sofa, and then his full weight was on top of her, and from the bulge in his leather pants, his intentions were quite clear.
Breathing was a struggle as he didn’t seem to be letting up for more than a millisecond between kisses that sent his tongue plunging deeper and deeper into her throat. The idea that this was a bad idea surfaced when he dropped his mouth to her neck, nipping and sucking, but it much simpler to let her body respond, rather than lending any thought to what was happening.
As his mouth explored her earlobe, Cadence became extremely aware of his hands. The pressure of his thumb on her nipple through her shirt and bra left a foreboding feeling weighing her down in her midsection.
She’d only ever had sex with Jack, and they had been a couple.
They had been in love, even if they were just two dumb high school kids.
But this was different. Christian was practically a stranger. In fact, until this very moment, he had never even crossed her mind as anything more than an attractive team member. An acquaintance at best. Now, with his lips plunging lower and his hands reaching for her buttons, she realized she had a decision to make, one she needed to make rather quickly.
“Christian,” she said quietly, unsure of her own voice, “I think we had better stop.”
If the Guardian heard her at all, he made no move to do what she had said. His hand was beneath her shirt now, grazing her stomach, moving higher.
Cadence intended to push him back, but her hands were not responding the way she had hoped they would. His tongue slid along the top of her breast, just above the lacy part of her bra, and she began to feel as if she were floating.
Aaron’s face flashed before her mind, grounding her again. If she ever wanted a chance to be with him again, she needed to end this now.
Once more, she gave Christian a gentle nudge with her hands, this time a bit harder and said, “Christian? Christian! Stop.”
If he was listening, he didn’t care what she’d said, and for a brief second, Cadence began to fear that she might need help.
Of course, she had the IAC. If she couldn’t handle this herself, she could call someone to help.
Not Aaron.
Or Elliott.
Jamie?
She prayed that wasn’t necessary. “Christian!” Using both of her arms, she pushed him up as she slid toward the ground. Landing on the floor next to the coffee table, she looked up at him, her eyes wide with irritation.
