He's a Monster
Entering her room, Cadence thought about the sentence her mother had just said.
“That’s not Jack.”
She was right, in a way. The monster that had killed the daughter of the addict and the waitress at that restaurant, according to Aaron, was not Jack. Not in the same way as the guy who used to sit in the chair across from her bed and tell jokes with Jon was Jack. But then… wasn’t enough of him Jack, or Jack-like, that she owed it to whatever he was now to try and save him?
It had been a long day, and she was ready for bed. Rather than take a chance at getting dressed in her bedroom proper, she grabbed a nightgown from her drawer and went into the bathroom to brush her teeth and change. While she took care of personal matters, she couldn’t help but think about the conversation she’d had with Aaron either.
She knew her mother was right and she never should’ve said the L word to him, but it had seemed like the right thing at the time. The fact that he hadn’t said anything back to her was her own fault, right? She’d told him not to.
That didn’t mean he couldn’t just ignore her remarks and tell her that he loved her, too.
But then… he didn’t, right? He probably wasn’t even beginning to fall in love with her, the way she most definitely was with him. He was a guy, after all, a smoking hot guy who could get as much ass as he wanted. Why would he be interested in anything more but a good time with her?
Sighing, she finished brushing her teeth and took her makeup off, wondering if Aaron would find a way to break their date. Her mom had given her the impression that he would. Cadence hoped she hadn’t fucked everything up.
Again.
Approaching the bathroom door, she got a flicker of a message in her IAC just as she realized she wasn’t alone. “Don’t be alarmed,” the message said.
The door swung open, and Aaron was standing next to her bed, his hands thrust deep into the pockets of his jeans. Moonlight streaming through the slightly open blinds illuminated his face, and she could tell he was distraught.
“What’s going on?” she asked, keeping her voice down. She hoped her sister had fallen asleep long ago so they wouldn’t wake her, but she had no way of knowing for sure. But then, Cassidy seemed capable of sleeping through anything. She’d had Aaron visit her late at night a few times, as well as Elliott… and Cassidy had never said a word.
“I needed to talk to you,” he said.
Cadence raised an eyebrow and sat down on her bed, pulling a pillow to her chest. “You left,” she said with a shrug.
He nodded. “I came back.”
“I see that.” She gestured at the bed.
His eyes searched the mattress for a moment, and he hesitated, as if he was afraid sitting on her bed could be deadly. But then he sank down a few feet away from her, not even facing her, his head in his hands.
Yeah, she’d fucked up all right.
“Cadence, there are some things about me you don’t know, some things that are important. Some things that will make you decide that what you said earlier needs to be taken back.”
Her mother’s words hit her full force. She was right. It hadn’t even been an hour yet, and he was already trying to get away from her. Shit.
“You mean like… instead of I’m falling in love with you, I’m what? Flying out of love with you? I’m blasting into hate?” She snickered, wondering what the opposite of falling in love would truly be.
He turned his head then and looked at her. He didn’t think she was funny. Probably because she wasn’t. Where was Elliott to lighten the mood when he was needed?
“I ruin every woman I am remotely interested in,” Aaron said, as if he was telling her data about a baseball team or reciting an historical fact. “Not once, in the history of my existence, has a woman I am attracted to survived me and not lost her ever-loving mind.”
Cadence considered what he was saying. Who did she know that had dated him? Well, Laura seemed bat-shit crazy, that was true. And Eliza had an unhealthy obsession with him. Aislyn, his wife, well… she was dead, so did that count? Were there others?
She had no idea.
“How many girlfriends have you had?” she asked.
“Two,” he said quickly. “And one wife.”
Cadence’s eyebrows arched. “But… Laura and Eliza make two. So—"
“That’s right, and look at how well-adjusted they are,” he replied, no longer looking at her. “Do you want to end up like them? Desperate and clingy? Or so fucking nuts you spend ten years of your life hunting down one Vampire that you’re only trying to kill because you have a twisted vendetta against him dating back from the last hunt you ever went on with your ex?”
Cadence considered what he was saying, but she didn’t have the context to know exactly what had happened with either one of those women.
What she wanted to know was… if he’d been married, like, a hundred years ago… how had he only had two girlfriends?
“They’re the only two?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “I mean, they’re the only two girlfriends, but there’ve been other women I’ve fucked up along the way. Women who started out as friends, teammates, and ended up thinking we should be more. But when I refused to date because I couldn’t get over my wife, they felt it was a personal rejection of them and had to deal with my shit for decades after I was out of their lives completely. No, I’ve only fucked three women, but I’ve fucked up a lot more women than that. I don’t want to add you to that list, Cadence.”
Again, she felt her eyebrow twitch. Which list? Did she have to be on both?? Could she just choose one???
It was clear to her that he was hurting, and she didn’t think for a moment that everything he was telling her was true, that he had messed these women up singlehandedly. Perhaps he was just shitty at picking women to date.
Besides, he’d almost slept with her the other morning, in Nebraska. They’d stopped because he had to leave, but Cadence wasn’t completely out of touch with how the male anatomy worked. If he hadn’t had to go on that damn trip to Billings, he would’ve already added her to the first list—the only one she wanted to be on.
Clearly, whatever had happened with Aislyn was still affecting him all of these decades later, and that made Cadence’s heart throb in her chest. It wasn’t fair. Aaron was a good person. A bit misunderstood by his teammates who thought he was too much of a perfectionist and a little too hard on them sometimes, but he dedicated his life to keeping other people safe.
And he’d sacrificed himself to save her. She hadn’t forgotten that.
Whatever it was that was making him feel like he could never be happy in another relationship again, she wanted to prove to him that he was wrong. She was willing to stake everything on it.
Reaching over to him, she clasped his wrist with her hands, and he looked up at her. “I’m sorry, but I don’t believe any of that. I think there’re plenty of other things wrong with those other two women. They’re the only ones I know, but I’m not worried about it, Aaron. I know who I am, and I’m not going to lose my mind over you.”
He scoffed. “That’s what you think.”
She tipped her head to the side and stared at him a moment, a small grin pulling up at the corner of her mouth. “You’re pretty fucking full of yourself, aren’t you?”
He turned toward her then and moved so that he was within inches of her, his minty breath heating her face. “No, but I know a pattern when I see one. I know that the best way to keep from getting scorched is to stay the hell away from an open flame.”
His blue eyes seemed to glow in the darkness, their piercing electricity pulsating into her with an intensity that made her feel like she needed to pull her gaze away. But she didn’t dare.
“Aaron, ever since we first met, I’ve felt drawn to you in a way I can’t explain. It’s been like suddenly realizing you’ve had a skill or a treasure you never knew was there before, but it’s been with you all along. I can’t explain it exactly, but I don’t feel like we just met. I don’t feel like this is just any relationship. We’re connected in a way I can’t put into words.”
Narrowing his eyes slightly, he said, “That’s because there are still things you don’t know about, things I can’t explain right now.”
Sighing, she dropped her eyes for a second. Why was that always his explanation for everything?
When she lifted her eyes again, she could see the way he kept lifting and dropping his gaze, looking her in the eye but then at her lips.
He wanted her. She could feel the pull of him, the bubble of containment just below the surface, ready to burst and unleash all of the want and longing they’d both been feeling for the majority of the time they’d been together.
But he was also a master of self-control.
How did she get him to release himself from the chains of self-restraint he kept wrapped so tightly around every aspect of his life?
In a hoarse whisper, she said, “Fine. You don’t have to love me. But we both know you want to fuck me.”
One side of his upper lip curled slightly, and he shook his head slowly in surprise at her choice of words. “Cadence, you have no idea how badly I want to, but I don’t think you could handle it.”
Her head tilted back as a gasp escaped her lips. “Me? The person who ripped the head off of a fucking Vampire in the forest and shot the queen bitch in the heart? You don’t think I can handle the weapon you’re carrying around in your pants?”
“This is a completely different situation, Cadence. It’s been a long ass time since I’ve been with a woman, and the way that I want you… I don’t think you could take it, not if Jack Cook is the extent of your sexual experience.”
It was true Jack was a kid, and Aaron was every bit a man. But he had her intrigued now in a way that wouldn’t allow her to just agree with him and let him go on his merry way, especially not when she could feel the tension pulsating between them and smell the lust in the air.
“Try me,” she said, not blinking.
“If I let myself go, Cadence, I’m not going to be able to restrain myself. I want you too damn bad.” His words were measured, laced with a warning.
Her breathing stuttered as Cadence lifted a hand and grabbed his collar, pulling him closer. Her demand had worked the first time when all she’d wanted was a kiss. Why not try again?
“Fuck me, Aaron.”
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