Chapter 10

“Well, it’s not going to be a secret anymore by next month,” she said. “I’m pregnant, Rob. I’m carrying a baby in my belly right now.”

Rob was stunned into silence.

“Yeah, I know,” she sighed. “I can’t believe it myself.”

“I don’t understand. I mean, how…?”

“For god’s sake, Rob. How else? I had sex with a guy and I got pregnant. I’m pretty sure even gay people know how it works,” she snapped and was immediately sorry.
“I’m so sorry, Rob. I didn’t mean to lash out at you like that. Please, forgive me.”

“It’s ok,” he said quietly. “I’m not offended. I know you’re not feeling like your usual self right now and that’s understandable under the circumstances.”

She wiped the tears away from her face with the back of her hand. “I’m so angry with myself for letting this happen.”

“So… are we going to address the elephant in the room?”

“What?”

“The father. Who is the father of your baby?”

She shrugged. “Doesn’t matter who it is. This is all my fault, I was the one who was stupid enough to have sex with a stranger without protection.”

“Wait, you don’t know who it is?”

“I know who it is, but that’s not important,” she said non-committally.

“What do you mean that’s not important. Have you told him?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“He rejected it. Said he’s not responsible.”

“And?”

“Nothing.”

“What do you mean, nothing?”

“Stop bugging me, Rob. This is my cross to bear now, I’ll figure things out eventually.”

“Rachel, this is serious.”

“And you think I don’t know that already?”

“What are you going to tell Mom?”

“She doesn’t have to know. I’m not going to subject myself to any kind of verbal bashing from her and her church friends.”

“This is crazy,” said Rob, feeling dazed.

“Yeah…”

They were both silent for a while, each occupied with their own thoughts. Rob couldn’t believe how nonchalant Rachel was sounding about this pregnancy issue and he knew there was more to the story than she was willing to share. He didn’t want to force her to open up to him until she was ready, but he was determined to help her as much as he could because right now, he knew that she needed all of the support she can get.

“Thanks for stopping by, Rob. I’ll be fine, I promise,” she said as a way to dismiss him. She needed to be alone to wallow in her sorrow and marinate in self-pity, and Rob was getting in the way of that.

“Of course, you will be fine. And no, I’m not leaving until the apartment and its owner regain some decency. This place looks like a shit hole.”

“Thanks, but I don’t have the strength to clean just yet. I’ll probably get someone to clean it up when I’m ready.”

“I am that someone,” said Rob, as he stood up and began to pick up the trash from the floor.

“Stop it, Rob. You don’t have to do that,” Rachel protested.

“You stop, Rachel. Stop rejecting my help. I am your brother and I love you. It breaks my heart to see you this way and I will not step out of this apartment until I am 100% convinced that you are ok and that your house looks like a place fit for a pregnant woman to live. Ok?”

Rachel was so overcome by emotion, that she could not speak. She got up from her bed and wrapped her arms around her brother, hugging him tightly.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“You’re welcome, my love,” he said softly, embracing her too. “Now, you need to find your way into the bathroom and clean yourself up. You smell like horse shit.”

She stepped back and punched him playfully on the chest. She was thankful for her brother’s presence in her space at this chaotic time in her life. She had thought that she needed some time alone to thoroughly feel sorry for herself, but she realized now that that was a coward’s way, and she wasn’t a coward. Her child needed a brave, strong mother, and she was determined to be exactly that.

“Damn it, man, I can’t believe I’m about to become an uncle,” said Rob with a dreamy smile.

“And I’m sure you’ll be the most fabulous uncle the world has ever seen,” said Rachel.

“Do you think so?”

“I know so, Rob. You’ll be great.”

“And you will be a great Mom. That child is lucky to have you as their mother.”

Rachel blinked back fresh tears. “Thanks for saying that, Rob. I’m lucky to have you as my brother.”

********

As they had expected, their mother threw a fit when she heard the news of Rachel’s pregnancy. She had only recently come to terms with the news of Rob’s sexuality and now this was happening. Why?

“How could you let that happen, Rachel?” Asked Rosemary Lane with a horrified expression. “I thought you were a sensible young woman, how could you do this to me?”

“This isn’t about you, Mom,” said Rob, rolling his eyes.

“How could you embarrass me like this?” Rosemary continued, ignoring her son’s comment. “What have I ever done to deserve this?”

“I’m sorry, Mom. It wasn’t intentional,” said Rachel. “It just happened.”

“What do you mean by ‘it just happened’ as if it was an accident? Were you walking down the street and just stumbled on the pregnancy? Was that how it happened? Did someone just throw it at you? Or you accidentally had sex and got pregnant? What part of this wasn’t intentional?”

Rachel sighed but said nothing. If it were up to her, she wouldn’t have informed her mother about this issue, but Rob had insisted that their mother should be made aware of it now rather than later. Now, here she was in her childhood home getting dragged for filth by her mother.

“Why are you always so impatient?” Her mother asked. “Why couldn’t you just wait until you are married before having a baby? Why the rush to start a life that you’re not ready for?”

“You need to stop with these questions, Mom. They’re not helping,” said Rob. “What Rachel needs now is our support and love, not insults or judgment.”

“Oh, please, don’t start with me, Rob. You all throw that word, ‘support,’ around as if it is a badge of honor. I am allowed to feel what I feel. My daughter is pregnant out of wedlock despite all of my warnings to her, all of my teachings, and you expect me to dance for joy? What part of this is ok to you, huh?”

“Mom, you of all people should know that life can come at you suddenly and you just have to roll with the punches,” argued Rob.

“This is different, Rob. Pregnancy is never a mistake, and your sister knows. This could have been prevented.”

Rachel said nothing but simply listened as her mother and brother argued back and forth about her as if she was not there. She just didn’t have the energy to be involved in the war of words, especially when they all know that their mother wouldn’t stop until she had the last word.

“So, who is the father of the child?” Rosemary asked, glaring at her daughter.

It was the question Rachel had been dreading and now the moment of truth is here. “His identity is of no importance,” she said lightly.

“What does that mean?” Asked Rosemary. “Is that another way of saying you don’t know who it is?”

“No. I know who it is but I am not ready to reveal his identity because it makes no difference.”

Rosemary clutched imaginary pearls at her throat. “Please, don’t tell me you were raped.”

“No, I wasn’t. That’s not what I’m saying. I know who got me pregnant but I don’t think it’s important to reveal his identity.”

“And why, if I may ask?”

“Because he doesn’t want the baby!” Rachel screamed, feeling as if she might explode if her mother asked her one more question.

Even Rob was shocked by her response. “He rejected the baby?”

“Yes,” she whispered and began to cry.

Rosemary felt her heart squeezing in her chest, seeing how upset Rachel was, and she became sorry for harassing her with so many questions. She got up from her seat and went over to where Rachel sat on a stool beside the island. They were in the kitchen and had been enjoying a light brunch before this pregnancy conversation came up.

“I am so sorry for coming at you like that, Rachel,” Rosemary apologized. She wrapped her arms around Rachel, trying to console her. “It’s just that, you know the church community I belong to can be quite judgemental of people’s behavior and I don’t want people to gossip about you.”

“This is the 21st century, Mom. Having a baby without being married is no longer a big deal,” said Rob. “You and your church people need to join the rest of the world in the present and stop living in the past.”

“Don’t be rude, Rob,” said Rosemary, sternly. “I know you don’t agree with my beliefs, but I am still of the opinion that things should always be done the right way.”

“And what exactly is the right way?” Rob challenged her.

“That’s enough guys, please stop arguing,” said Rachel, weakly. “You guys don’t have to worry about me, I’ll get through this. I’ll be fine.”

“Of course, you will be,” her mother said, returning to her spot on the other side of the island. “I am not going to pretend and act as if I am not disappointed, because I am, but I have decided that I am going to support you as much as I can.”

Rachel gave her mother a teary smile and said, “Thank you, Mom. I appreciate that.”

“God be praised,” Rob laughed.

“Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain,” Rosemary admonished him with a stern look. “With that said, I know you people don’t care much for what people say or think about you, but trust me when I tell you this, Rachel, pregnancy can be stressful and so you need to be in a place where you will not come across anything that can add to that stress.”

“Ok,” Rachel said cautiously, knowing that her mother was about to follow up her speech with something else.