Chapter 55

“I don’t even know what that is,” he replied honestly. “I enjoy the times I spend with you and Zoe, and you two make me incredibly happy. If that is what love is, then I guess that means I love you.”

She sighed in defeat. “At some point, I’m going to have to stop embarrassing myself like this. I’m going to sleep in Zoe’s room.”

“Wait,” he said, rising to his feet as she turned to leave. “What do you want me to say to convince you to stay? We planned a year-long vacation and we are barely a couple of days in and now you want to leave? Can’t we talk this out?”

“No, Derek. I feel like I am doing myself a disservice by being with you. We can co-parent Zoe but that doesn’t necessarily mean that we should be together as a couple. That part is clearly not working and I believe it is time to let it go.”

Derek was speechless. He kept staring at her as if willing her to change her mind but she stared back at him stubbornly challenging him to back down. Eventually, he did and it showed in the way his shoulders sagged slightly.

“If that’s what you want,” he said and took a step back. “What time is your flight?”

“I don’t know yet. I’ll have to confirm that from Alfred.”

“Ok. I’d like to see Zoe before you guys leave. You can tell Elaine to bring her here in the morning when she wakes up.”

“Of course,” replied Rachel. She hated this sudden awkwardness that has come between them but it couldn’t be helped. It reminded her of that morning after her birthday two years ago when he’d asked her to stay with him but she’d refused and he instantly became nasty to her. However, this time, he has erected an invincible wall between them and she felt responsible for it.

“I’ll arrange for Shane and Frank to travel with you guys,” he said in a business-like tone. “They will remain with you and Zoe whenever you go out in public and they’ll stay close to you two at all times. I will arrange for their accommodation as soon as you guys land in the U.S. Are you going to Atlanta or New York?”

“New York, but I don’t think we’ll be needing the bodyguards since you’re not joining us.”

“I insist,” he said curtly. “Everyone out there already knows that you and I are together and that Zoe is our child, and that makes both of you the prime targets of the paparazzi. I can’t have a bunch of strangers photographing my child each time she steps out of the house. That’s what the bodyguards are there for, to protect you two.”

Rachel knew this was an argument that she couldn’t win, so she let it go. “Fine. Is that all?”

“Yes. Goodnight,” he said and walked away from her.

“Goodnight,” she said to his retreating back.

When she stepped out of the room and closed the door, she felt as if her heart was shattering inside her chest. What had she done? Did she overreact? Should she have been more patient with him or was her reaction to his shocking marriage proposal justified? How would this affect Zoe who totally adores her father?

Rachel felt even more miserable than she did when she left the cottage. She hoped she had made the right decision and that she had not just shut the door to her only chance at finding happiness.

*********

“Girl, I don’t wanna say that you blew it, but you did,” said Taylor and rolled his eyes dramatically before taking a noisy sip of his lemonade.

“Shut up, Taylor,” Rob rebuked him.

“I agree with him,” said Rosemary with a shrug.

“Thanks, guys. I feel so much better now,” said Rachel sarcastically.

They were in Rosemary’s place after arriving in New York an hour ago. She’d called her brother the moment they landed at the airport and he and his boyfriend had showed up at the house in record time to get all the tea on her unceremoniously ended vacation with Derek. She’d told them about what went down at Rickman Manor but she’d left out the part about them meeting Derek’s mother in Bermuda. That was way too much information to share right now and she was not even in the right frame of mind to explain the details.

“Don’t pay attention to them,” Rob told her. “I think you did the right thing. If a relationship brings you more heartbreak than happiness, then you should leave.”

“I don’t know what y’all talking about but I’d be dead ass happy if I got to travel to exotic places in a private jet without having to pay for anything,” said Taylor.

“Stop trolling my sister, Taylor, and be quiet if you don’t have anything nice to say. Can’t you see how upset she is?”

“I’m not upset,” Rachel said quickly. “I’m actually over the whole thing.”

“Are you?” Her mother asked, skeptically. “It doesn’t seem like it.”

Rachel sighed. “Whatever…”

“Don’t let Mum and Taylor make you feel as if you overreacted because you didn’t,” said Rob. “I wouldn’t put up with this sexy hot mess called Taylor if he didn’t love me as much as I love him, so you did the right thing by walking away from Derek and his yoyo-ing emotions.”

“Did you just call me a hot mess?” Taylor asked in mock mortification.

“Not now, Taylor,” said Rob, holding in his laughter. “So, sis. What’s next?”

She sighed. “I don’t know… maybe move back here?”

“What about your apartment in Atlanta?” Her mother asked. “And Zoe’s daycare? You can’t keep dragging the child around town and across the world like a pet. She needs stability and she can’t have that if you keep moving around all the time. Then there’s the issue of the nanny and the bodyguards. Are you going to continue dragging them around with you too? I know Derek is the one paying them, but don’t you feel weird with those people following you around all the time?”

“I honestly don’t know,” she confessed. “I don’t know where to start from.”

“Look, you don’t have to have everything figured out just yet,” said Rob. “Take a few days to relax and get your bearings right. Go out and hang out with your friends or grab a good book and read. Eat some ice cream, be lazy, and just relax for a while until your head clears up. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now, ok?”

“I agree with that,” said Taylor. “You need to chill out for a while. Zoe needs a happy, present mum, not a miserable one. Get Derek out of your system before you hit the reset button. There’s no rush, ok?”

“Yeah,” she said, thankful to have such a great support system around her. “I’m gonna go inside and take a nap. I need a little brain reset.”