34.

Xander

"What did you say?"




Nikki looks at me with fear in her eyes, "I said I'm pregnant."




Oh my gosh, nope. This isn't happening. It can't be happening.




A father? Me? No. I can't, I’m ready for this. No! I’m not ready for a baby.




"Xander, please look at me."




I feel my chest tighten and my breathing gets heavy and laboured. I feel light-headed and the room starts spinning.




I found a chair nearby, and I took my seat. I close my eyes and take deep breaths, calming my nerves and my mind. A father, Xander, you are going to be a father, and nothing is going to change that. Don't make the same mistake that your father made.




"Andy, have you been taking your medication?"




I shake my head.




"Are you fucking insane? Are you seriously trying to kill yourself?" Damien scolds, "Charles, go get his meds upstairs."




I hear footsteps and people moving around me, but I'm not ready to open my eyes yet. I can't bear to look at Nikki's face, she must think I hate her right now.




"Nikki?"




I hear shuffling and Nikki's hand on my thigh, "Yes."




"I'm sorry, this is all so new to me."




"I understand Xander, it's a lot to take in and with everything that's happening around us, it just feels like such an in-




"No, it's not an inconvenience, our baby is not an inconvenience, he or she is a miracle and I just -"




I sigh, “I just wasn’t expecting it.”




Nikki scoffs, "Of course."




I open my eyes and look at Nikki, "You don't want the baby?"




"I don't know Xander, I thought you and I were going to get married, get to know each other and then start talking about kids, later on, everything is happening in the wrong order, and I don't want this baby here with all this chaos around us, it's not good for them."




"Baby, we are surrounded by the people we love, that baby will have nothing but positive energy, love, and affection."




Nikki gets up with tears in her eyes, "You don't know what it's like to have a baby, the pain, the anguish, only for you to lose it in the end, I can't go through that again."




Before I could reply, she walks away and goes upstairs.




She lost her baby. She was pregnant, I bet it was Aiden’s.




"Xander, what happened? What did your stupid self say?" Charles says as he walks into the living room with my meds.




"I didn't say anything, she doesn't want the baby."




Charles looks at Damien and then back at me, "It's not possible, why?"




"She said the baby was an inconvenience to her plans."




"For the first time ever, I'm mad at Nikki," Charles says as he plops down on the couch beside me.




"She must have her reasons, guys," Damien says, "She's probably nervous about the pregnancy, being a first-time mom and all. Looking at her culture, it's not really recommended to have a child out of wedlock."




"That part of it makes sense, but I still understand why she would say that she didn't want to go through it all over again."




"All over again?"




Charles gasps, "Oh no."




I look at him, "What?"




Charles hisses, "It's her story to tell, not mine."




Damien and I groan, "What don't you know, Charles?"




"Why you still choose to be an idiot?"




"Charles, this is not the time. I think you should talk to her and have her explain to her what's really going on." Damien suggests.




Everything in my mind finally pieces everything together, and it hits me, she's been pregnant before, and she lost the baby. Could it have been Aiden's?




I get up from my chair and my head spins and I sit back down. I take all my meds and Damien follows me up the stairs in case I pass out and roll down the stairs.




"Remember, keep an open mind, listen and understand," Damien says.




I nodded, and I opened the door, I spotted Nikki sitting by the balcony, and I walked toward her.




"Nikki?"




I sit in the chair beside hers. Her eyes were puffy, and she looked sad, hurt, depressed. This pregnancy has probably brought up some memories that she had buried deep inside.




"I'm sorry for lashing out at you." she frowns, "I don't know what came over me."




"It's okay, baby, I just want to understand what you're feeling."

Nikki sighs, "I had a baby, but he was stillborn. I was in my first year of university and a lot was going on at that time, with my father and my ex."




"Aiden?"




She shakes her head, "That's something I also need to talk to you about."




"One thing at a time, okay, baby. I'm sorry that it happened to you, but I promise that won't happen to ours, okay? I'll be there at every appointment, pay for everything, be supportive, and loving towards you and our little one."




Nikki sniffs, "Thank you. I pray so to Xander."




“If you’d like, we can do counselling sessions, to get over our unresolved issues and work being better parents and partners for our baby.”




She sniffs, “I’d like that. I’m glad you’re handling this better than me.”




"Come sit on daddy's lap."




She pouts and gets up and sits on my lap.




"I love you, Nikki."




"I love you more."




"I'll do everything in my power to make sure that you and my little princess are well taken care of and loved." 




She lifts her head from my chest and looks at me, "Who said it was a girl?"




"I would really love a baby girl." I say softly.




She smiles at me fondly, "Oh Xander, whatever the baby is, we'll love them and spoil them."




I hum, "I don't know about the spoil part, though."




"We can discuss that after you give me some of that sweet loving, daddy." 




I instantly become hard, and he looks down at my pants and then smirks at me. Everything that this woman does is a turn on and also with having discovered the pleasures of sex, I technically have the sexual body and mind are of a teenager.