Chapter Fifty-Eight – The journal entry

“Nadine, I need a favor” Talia popped her head into the library, happy to find the witch alone at the table. She’d passed Xavier in the common room, giving him a nod before disappearing down into the basement. Though she had spent much time there the last few days the dim light and musky scent didn’t sit well with her. If she got the chance, she would encourage Adam to move the library someplace else. Where, she’d hash out those details later.

“What do you need?” Nadine looked up, a small crease between her brows. She was hunched over one of the many journals. Talia hadn’t been able to read much herself, being hit by bad news left and right made her dread what the pages would reveal.

“A portal” Talia answered cryptically.

“Why? Where” Did you tell anyone?” Nadine had questions.

Talia walked all the way into the room, closing the door behind her before answering. She was still unsure about whether or not this was a good idea. She wanted to stay. Had to stay. Asking Adam to mark her had shocked her, it had been a heat of the moment request. But the more she thought about it, the more she wanted him to. Wanted to be his, complete and utterly his. But she needed answers, answers she couldn’t get from reading one or several journals.

“My grandparents manor in France” She answered lowly, watching as Nadine’s face turned from curiosity to confusion to downright resistance.

“No” She shook her head, arms crossing over her chest. “No. No way. Not after what your grandfather said. I don’t know what we’ll walk in to, but I know it won’t be good”

“Exactly. We don’t know anything, and that’s the only place we can get answers. We know what I am, I’m a chaotic mess of emotions and power that might explode at any point. And we don’t know exactly what can happen when that happens. And I need to know. If I don’t know, I’m not staying. I’m not risking hurting innocent people” Talia couldn’t. There were too much at stake, too many variables. Ariel was there, completely lost to the world from what she’d seen herself. And it wouldn’t be long before her father started looking for her. It wouldn’t take him long to find out where she was, and she didn’t doubt he would spin a story to his advantage, painting them as the bad guys.

“That won’t happen” Nadine tried to sound assuring, but she couldn’t make that kind of promise. None of them could.

“You can’t promise that. You don’t even know what I can do, what they injected me with. And we can keep on reading and reading and reading, but it won’t give me answers quick enough. I need to see if my grandma is still alive – I have to know for sure” It was a shot into the dark – but she was desperate. The kind of desperate where she would try everything and not leave any stone unturned. And what better place to start than where it had all started that many years ago? It was not the best plan, but it was the only one she had.

“Do Adam know? Xavier?”

“No. And I don’t want to tell them either. I need to do this, for me. And only me” Talia answered. If she told any of them, they would surely try to stop her. Or come with. And she wanted neither.

“I have to tell someone” Nadine said. She was slowly changing her mind, but also thinking about safety. They couldn’t just up and leave without anyone knowing.

“Monica” Talia said after a moments thought. “We can tell Monica” Monica was the only one Talia believed would understand, and not try and stop her. And if anything went south, she would be calm enough to tell Adam, and handle whatever fury he would rain upon her. Not that Talia had ever seen him rain fury upon everyone. Though, Talia had to admit she was curious as to how he would react of anything happened to her.

“Fine. Two minutes” Nadine got up the seat at the table. “I’m going to tell Monica and give her a way to reach us that isn’t mobile, and you’re going to read this chapter while I do this. If you still want to go, then I’ll take you. Deal?”

Talia nodded. She could agree to those terms. It wasn’t what she wanted, but she understood the need for someone knowing, in case something bad happened to them. And they didn’t know what kind of scene they would walk in on. From what her grandfather had said she expected to find her grandmother dead. Killed for the sins she had committed against her own blood. Which turned out to not be her blood at all, so had she truly committed a crime? Talia was yet to find the answers to that. But she could also be just sleeping, taking a long rest like he’d said. That was the optimist in her talking. The one who believed everything happened for a reason and it would all work out well in the end. These days that part of here were suppressed far into the darkness of her mind.

“Good. Now, read” Nadine pushed her towards the chair she’d been seated in, the book still open on a page, while she herself exited the library, closing the door behind her.

Talia sighed as she took a seat, leaning down over the journal before her. The letters were all cursive, with loops and a delicate touch. The words of her grandmother. The date was scribbled up in the corner, July 30th 2012, just weeks before her attack. She’d spent the summer in France at her grandparent’s vineyard, along with her parents. From what she could remember it had been a lovely vacation, several weeks of nice, warm weather, sampling her grandfather’s new line of white wine and just lounging by the pool in the back. The happy memory was about to be shattered, she could feel it.

*Today marks the final day of the treatment. I don’t know why they have to do this; they tell me nothing of importance at this point. I have a feeling they tricked me, lured me in to think I was helping my own kind, when I was in fact, creating something far more special than I first believed. My loved one lost touch with his element a long time ago, and I wanted to help him regain it, to find back to his element and his true self. And she was the key. The key to unlock the door that kept his powers away from him. But I was wrong. I was mistaken. She’s not a key. There is no key. She’s something more. Something dangerous. Something lethal.

*I have to act before it’s too late – but the doctor is already here. And I can’t stop him. Won’t stop him. There can’t be another one like her – it will be the end to everything we love and pride. I hope that one day the Goddesses will forgive me. Will see that I only did what I thought was right. That I was blindsided, fooled. I’m an old woman, I’ve lived a long life, I should have known better. But the heart want’s what the heart wants, and when you love someone as deep and truly as I love my Victor, you do everything in your power to help.*

*I tried and I failed. I failed Victor. I failed my darling daughter Evelin. And I failed my granddaughter. I failed the people I love the most, and for that I will one day pay. But not today. It’s the final piece, and the doctor will be here, to make sure she’ll be the only one of her kind. To make sure she never procreates.*

*It’s a cruel act, but it’s an act that has to be done. It’s my fault, I should never have agreed to this. Never. I should have protected her. Treated her better. That will be my burden to shoulder as life moves along.*

Teardrops fell on the page, smearing the ink on the last paragraph. She hadn’t realized she was crying until then. Until the saw the drops in the parchment. They were silent tears. Tears she hadn’t expected to shed over news she hadn’t expected to get.

The door opened, and Nadine slowly walked into the room, closely followed by Lilith. The only person who could verify if the words on the paper were true or not.

“Do you still want to go?” Nadine’s voice was low as a whisper, barely audible for anyone in the room.

“No. Yes. No. Maybe. I don’t know. Yes” Words kept falling out of her mouth. She didn’t know. And she knew. She had to know if her grandmother was still alive. And if she were, she would send her to meet her maker herself. And if she wasn’t, then good riddance. But there was something else she had to know for sure as well.

“What do you want to do first?” Lilith asked. Nadine had filled her in on what she had read, and on Talia’s plans. She hadn’t gone to find Monica, despite Talia’s wishes. She’d gone to find the only person with medical knowledge that could be of assistance, both in the matter of the mind and body.

“I need to know if she’s alive” Talia whispered, wiping away the tears.

“I’ll be here, waiting for your return” Lilith assured them.

Nadine nodded shortly before imagining the manor, the library where she and Xavier had left Grandma Bell the other day. The portal flashed to life, blue and white light swirling around, blinding those who were not used to the sight.

A room became visible among the swirls, rows off books showing her she was at the right place.

“When you’re ready” Nadine said.

Talia took a deep breath, wiped away the last tears and squared her shoulders before taking a step through the portal.