Nine

I awaken to a sage fragrance and dim sunlight. Opening my eyes, I notice Dean next to me. He sleeps soundlessly with no shirt under the covers. His back faces me as he lays on his side. My eyes widen as I gasp, recalling the night.
This has to stop. If we are caught, we will have to face the consequences. I'd hate to be the one to cause him to lose his job.
Slowly, I crawl out of bed, trying hard not to wake him. I spot half of my clothes on the floor. I then realize that my shirt was left at the party.
Man, I really liked that top.
I grab my skirt just as I hear Dean behind me declaring, "Leaving already?"
I stop in my tracks and freeze before turning on my heel to face him. "Uh, yeah. I should get back before Julie worries." I anxiously reply.
He sits up more and watches me for a moment. He then claims, "I know what you're thinking."
I glance down at my feet to avoid eye contact.
He contiues. "You want to stop this because you're afraid."
"We're going to get caught. I can't risk that. You know you'll lose your job." I pout.
He sighs. "I know, but how will they find out? No one will know, Rosie."
I think about it for a moment. He's right. How will anyone find out if we're behind locked doors? I frown, disregarding my debating thoughts. "Secrets always find a way out." I slip on my skirt.
"Not ours." His low voice argues. "We can make this work and no one will know. It'll be our dirty little secret."
I stand in place as I close my eyes with a sigh.
It does sound fun.
I can't. I just can't stand the thought of ruining both of our careers.
"Dean, please." I tilt my head and spot the shirt he let me borrow on the floor. "I really don't want to argue about this. I'm saying no and that this was a one time thing." I grab the shirt and slide it over my head.
"Have it your way, Miss White." He stares at me intimidatingly. "But soon, you'll realize that this isn't what you want."
I swallow hard. "What is it that you think I want?" I ask softly.
"Me."
* * *
I'm glad to have the weekend here already. Yesterday was longer than it should've been. It was a day full of bad decisions. Every one of them.
I enter my dorm room to see Julie on her bed with headphones on. She spots me and smiles while removing her headphones. "Hey! Where were you all night?" Her eyes lower to my chest as her smile falls. "And what are you wearing?" She then gasps and adds, "No!" She giggles.
My face begins to heat up. This is so embaressing. I feel so childish and immature.
Her smile is wide. "Who was the lucky guy?"
I set down my keys on the dresser as I sigh. "No one."
"Hey, no need to feel ashamed." She smirks.
"Trust me, I should feel ashamed." I shake my head as I sit on the edge of my bed to face her.
She tilts her head. "Why? Do you not like him? Were you drunk?" Her voice becomes more concerned.
I shake my head. "No. That's the problem, I was sober. And I think I do like him." I run my fingers through my hair.
Her smile grows back. "That's a good thing, Rosie!"
"No, it's not." I stop her, my voice becoming louder. "He's not a guy I should be with. It's not okay."
She tilts her head. "You mean, he's a douche?" Her face is puzzled.
"No. I mean, we're on opposite levels." I scratch the back of my neck. "I guess that the thing that is keeping us apart is too important. It's better that we just stop." I shrug.
She exhales. "If something feels too real to avoid, then don't stop it. Whatever that important thing is, ask yourself which is truly important. Your love life, or some excuse you claim is keeping you apart." She rises from her bed.
I think about it for a moment. I'm not sure what to do anymore. I do like him, but it's just so risky.
"Just like me," She adds with a smile. "last night, the sophmore I told you about called me over."
I sit up more. "Really? What did you guys do?" I smirk at her.
She laughs while shaking her head. "Not what you're thinking. I guess he was upset about something. You should've seen how down he was. I allowed him to talk it out and then we just kinda fell asleep together." She shrugs.
I grin. "He ran to you when he needed support. That's sweet." I pause and add, "Are you guys like a thing or-"
She finishes my sentence. "I really don't know. He's so confusing. I mean, we've been hanging out a lot." She walks over to the mirror to fix her hair.
I rise from my bed. "I wouldn't think about it too much. Just let things go in their own direction."
She nods her head slowly. "Yeah." She agrees.
Just like I should: let it go in it's own direction.
* * *
The sky has begun to turn red. It's my favorite part of the day. I'm already under the same tree with a stack of books. I finished one of the books I checked out last time. I definitely can't wait for the second one. I'm now reading another romantic novel. It already has me hooked.
"Can we talk?" A low voice asks.
I glance up to see Blake. He stares down at me sympathetically.
Slowly, I move my bag and books to the side, allowing him to sit.
He sits down with his knees up. After a moment, he begins, "I'm sorry about last night. I should've never taken you there." He shakes his head at the ground.
"It's not your fault, Blake." I exhale. "We both agreed on going. I was the one who asked you to show me what fun looks like. I was the one who left your sight. Don't put this on yourself."
His jaw clenched. "But it was my idea. I should've never-"
I cut him off, "No. Don't let Professor Collins get in your head. I know he's pretty good at doing that." I mutter. "What happened tonight was no one's fault except those men, okay?" I stare at his brown eyes. His hair moves gently in the wind.
He stares back at me for moment and then nods.
We're both silent. The only sound alive is the late birds singing their tunes in the distance.
I just want to forgive and forget. The night was too horrible to keep recalling. It's best that I just pretend it never happened.
* * *
Monday rolls around quickly. I spent Sunday in my dorm all day. I had no interest in running into anybody or being social. I especially didn't want to see Mr. Temptation nor Blake. I needed some time to myself alone. It was convenient for me that Julie was out all day with that sophomore.
I walk into my art class and spot Alex. She smiles at me when I walk in.
She narrows her eyes at me and smirks. "You did the walk of shame, didn't you?"
My heart speeds rapidly. How does she know?
"It's written on your face." She replies after my speechless expression. "So, who was it with? Cough it up. I want details." Her eyes light up.
"Ummm," I search the room for an excuse as I sit down. "it was no one?" That wasn't suppose to come out as a question.
She raises an eyebrow. "You're not fooling anyone."
I exhale. "He's just a guy I regret sleeping with." I pull out my pencil from my bag.
"Alright, students. Today, I want you to draw something involving space." Professor Anderson explains. "It's kind of a relaxing day, but I expect your best work. Have at it." He walks towards his desk.
Alex turns her head back towards me. "Was he bad in the sheets?" She whispers through her teeth. "It's okay if he was. We've all had at least one."
"Oh, God no." I reply quickly. "It just can't work between us." I begin to sketch in my journal.
She watches me for a few seconds and then gasps. "Was it professor Collins?"
My face heats up quickly, my heart pounding hard against my chest.
Is she a fucking psychic?
"No, of course not." I reply quickly. "No, no." I chuckle.
She watches me.
"Really. It wasn't him." I try to convince more. "So for this drawing, I was thinking about an astronaut." I glance at my paper and gulp.
"Okay, fine. Whatever you say. But if it was him, I would praise you." She laughs.
I laugh weakly. It's not all fun and games.
* * *
By the end of art class, Alex and I walk side by side. "Are you excited for the trip to Paris?" She smiles wide.
"Definitely." I reply while adjusting my book bag on my shoulder. "Just a few more days."
I'm actually super excited about going to Paris. The school decided to take my graduate class to an art museum in Paris for a whole weekend. Not only am I thrilled to see a beautiful culture while learning about their art, but I'll be away from Dean. I won't have to worry about being tempted by him again. He's right, I do want him, but not as bad as I want my future. At least, I assume I don't want him as bad.
"I'll catch ya later." She waves at me as she walks down the opposite direction.
We have until Thursday, which is the day we leave. I've been counting the days since we were first informed a few weeks back.
I walk into math and find my seat. Gradually, I pull out my notebook and a pencil.
Blake sits next to me and greets me.
I smile at him. "I started working on a project for art." I then pull out my sketchbook to reveal a piece I sketched in color pencil. "It's obviously not finished, but I'm off to a good start." I set down the sketchbook between us on the long desk.
He leans forward more so he can view it. A grin grows on his face. "You're into cartoons?" His eyes glance up at mine.
I nod my head. "Realism is just too boring. I love experimenting with fantasy and unrealistic creatures." I smile.
"So, that explains why she is painting the moon to life." He smiles. "Because I thought astronauts were suppose to land on the moon."
I playfully slap his shoulder with a laugh. "It's all part of the art of it." I smile down at my sketch.
When I glance up at Dean, he glares at me. Or is he glaring at Blake? I can't tell, but either way, he doesn't look happy.
He rises from his desk and walks towards me.
I swallow hard as I watch him. Is he mad that I told him we can't be together?
I thought he understood clearly what I was trying to tell him. Why would he be mad?
He stops in front of Blake and glares down at him with his hands folded behind his back. "Maybe you should sit somewhere else." He growls deeply at him.
Blake frowns. "You can't seriously still be mad about Friday night."
Dean watches him without a word.
"Besides, Rosie forgave me. I don't need your permission to sit by her." He narrows his eyes.
Dean turns his head towards me. "How can you sit by him after what he did?" He snarls.
"He didn't do anything." I hiss through my teeth.
He's acting like a complete child. How old is he? Ten?
"It's in the past and I let it go. So should you." I narrow my eyes.
He inhales deeply. "He got you hurt."
"He saved me." My voice rises as I begin to rise from seat. I lean over my desk with my hands supporting my weight. "When will you grow a pair and finally see that Blake is not the bad guy here?" My face is completely hot now.
He watches me with his narrowed eyes and clenched jaw. I can see his nostrils flaring. His dark eyes glance up from me at the class. He then lowers his face in front of mine and softly demands, "Meet me after class." He strides back towards the front of the room.
My heart pounds as I slowly sink back into my seat. I don't think I've blinked yet either.
Did I just get in trouble?