Halo

Lya

I woke up in a tangle of sheets and a heavy weight across my side. I glanced around, expecting to see the big black wolf, but my eyes fell on Oliver instead.

'Same difference,' Tala mused. 'I like the wolf, though.'

The night before came crashing into me, causing me to freeze.

I stared down at Oliver, trying to decide if last night was a mistake. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed every minute of it - in fact, Oliver had probably ruined the possibility of enjoying being with anyone else for me, and we had only gotten to third base. And it wasn’t like I had coerced him into anything. I’d go so far as to say he started it. It was not my responsibility to bear the guilt of him going against his supposed rule of not messing with people that had mates - we were both consenting adults for goodness sake. I, for one, had had my fair share of one night stands. Letting my guard down and just rolling with instinct would help me find my place here, right?

And yet, regret still formed a knot deep in my stomach.

But even still, I couldn’t help myself from reaching out and touching him.

So I did. My fingers traced the contours of his face. I sighed, relishing in the fresh smell of ozone that wafted off of him, perfectly matching the lightning-like sparks that erupted wherever my skin met his. The sensations of a summer rainstorm was intoxicating.

Sparks.

I couldn’t pull my hand away. As if it had a mind of its own, it trailed down his jaw, along his neck, leaving a trail of fireworks behind.

Sparks.

Oliver’s eyes fluttered open and his hand caught mine, interlacing our fingers. I tried my best not to get lost in his sleepy eyes - the same warm chocolate I was growing accustomed to waking up to - and sultry smile, but I failed miserably. He had my hand pinned to the mattress and was rolled over on top of me before I could think.

“Good morning,” he murmured. Oliver’s voice was husky with sleep and music to my ears. His lips caught mine, but I fought it. Fighting the sparks, fighting his overwhelming scent, fighting the draw to meld our bodies into one, I wiggled out from under him. The room was too small. I needed space to breathe.

I stared at Oliver, wide eyed in some combination of shock and awe. “I uhm… I have to go,” I blurted.

I stumbled toward the patio door, yanked it open, and begged everything in my body to shift as I leaped off the porch. It had been almost a decade since I had longed to be in
this form, but right now, I craved it.

Four paws hit the dirt, and I was pounding my way through the woods. The further I got, though, the stronger the draw to turn around and go back to the packhouse. Like a rubber band being stretched to its limits.

'Are you fucking insane?' I demanded of Tala. 'You could have told me or something!' This wolf was going to be the death of me.

'Jeez, I live in your head and even I didn’t realize you’re such a dumbfuck you can’t figure out the obvious,' she remarked. 'Besides, you have quite the propensity for coming to your own conclusions. I didn’t think you needed my help.'

'This changes everything!' I shrieked.

'Does it, though?'

The terror of all of this was hitting hard. Nine days ago, I killed my fiance. This wasn't what I wanted - not yet - and far from what I deserved. I had barely gotten to the point of accepting life as a werewolf and part of a pack. But maybe I was wrong. I’ve been wrong before.

I had no idea where Tala was leading me, but I soon found myself sitting on my haunches outside of Marjorie’s little cottage. She was an Elder, maybe she’d have some answers. But, I also didn’t have clothes. So, I just sat and waited. Maybe I could glean some of that grandmotherly wisdom from osmosis.

She must have seen me, though, because the door swung open, and she placed a pile of clothes on her porch railing.

“Come on in once you’re decent,” she called. “I’ll get tea started.”

I let out a wolfy chuckle as I padded up to the porch. Old ladies and tea.

Tala gave no complaint about releasing her control. I slipped into the clothes on the porch and let myself into the cottage. There was already a cup of tea on the table and
Marjorie was bustling around the kitchen, pulling ingredients onto the counter.

“You have to stay longer if I’m baking something for you, so we’ll be having scones today,” the woman said with her back still to me.

I didn’t know where to start, or even if I wanted to talk about what I thought was going on. “You weren’t at the full moon thing last night,” I mumbled instead.

Marjorie chuckled. “No, I wasn’t. There were greater things at play. But why don’t you say what you’re actually thinking.”

I sighed. “Why is fate such a fickle bitch?”

She shot me a look. “Language, dear,” she reprimanded. “But I do agree. Do you know much about Thom?”

Oliver’s older brother wasn’t exactly the guy on my mind right now. “Oliver’s older brother who was supposed to be the alpha,” I shrugged.

Marjorie clicked her tongue. “I suppose that is what he thinks of the situation. But Thom could never have been alpha. You see, he has no alpha blood. It was always going to be Ollie, one way or another.”

The wheels attempted to turn in my head, but the gears weren’t syncing up. “But they’re brothers…”

“Half brothers,” Marjorie corrected. “You see, the previous Luna was already pregnant with Thom when she found her fated mate. They mated with each other so quickly, though, I don’t think she even realized Thom wasn’t her mate’s child.”

“But you knew.”

“Immediately, yes,” she confirmed. “Alpha traits are always dominant, and he looked nothing like Oliver’s father.”

“Is that why he left?” I asked.

“Partly, yes. He met his mate right before going to battle. He didn’t have time to mate and mark her before she died. She died in the same battle that took the previous alpha. He came to me asking what to do, and he took my advice.” She turned, sliding the baking sheet of scones into the oven. I waited for her to continue. “He knew he wasn’t the rightful alpha, and he feared disgracing the Luna while she slowly died of a broken heart, so he left instead - only disgracing himself. But, when your priority is to serve a pack, little things like disgrace don’t matter.”

“Luna.” I rolled the word around on my tongue. I had read it several times in a variety of books by this point. Several people had called me Luna, and I thought they had just gotten my name wrong. “That’s a title, isn’t it.”

Marjorie nodded. “The female mate of the alpha.”

“You were a luna as well once, then?” I studied her features - oh so familiar chocolate brown eyes, a few remaining streaks of vivid black running through her silver hair, defined cheekbones.

“Oh no, my dear, I was Alpha,” she smirked.

“Is that why nothing happened to you when your mate passed?”

“No,” she mused. “He was a chosen mate. I rejected my mate when I met him, and chose mine. He, like the previous luna, died of heartbreak when Ollie’s father - our son - passed.”

“Why didn’t the same thing happen to you?” I cringed when I noticed how nosy that question was.

“Alphas are stronger,” was all she said.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. I had no idea why she was telling me all of this, but I was certain I’d figure it out, whether she told me or it was just the right information I needed to connect some dots further down the line. I tapped my fingernail against the teacup - an old nervous habit.

“Rose will be wrapping up running patrol along the cottage in a few minutes, and I’m sure you have things to discuss with your friend,” Marjorie said, finally breaking the silence. She turned, her eyes boring into me. “Remember, Lya. Fate deals the most difficult hands to those who can do the most with them. It is still your choice of when you play your cards. But the cards won’t change. Hold them close to your heart, and use them all.”

I shifted uncomfortably, my eyes scanning the treeline out the window looking for… I don’t know. I had no idea what Rose’s wolf looked like and I just assumed patrols were done as wolves.

“Go on,” she encouraged. “I need to stop by and see my dear old Ollie, so I’ll bring the scones to the house.”

I nodded, jumping up and making my way toward the door.

“Oh, and Lya.” I stopped in my tracks, keeping my eyes on the door. “Treat my grandson well. He’s given up so much and waited a long time.”

I turned back and looked at her, a little shocked I hadn’t noticed the similarities between her and Oliver before. “Thank you, Marjorie.”

I dashed out the door and very nearly ran into Rose.

“Hi!” Rose chirped. “I was told you’d be here. Wanna grab coffee?”

I just nodded. I didn’t trust myself to say words right now - especially so close to Oliver’s grandmother. I followed Rose back to the training grounds and over to her car, wracking my brain to come up with a way to tell her about last night. I had never had girlfriends - hell, I barely had friends - but right now, I was really understanding why people leaned on them and gossiped with them so much.

Once safely tucked into the confines of the vehicle and out of the parking lot, I buried my head in my hands and shrieked. Just shrieked, no words. It was the only thing I could come up with to convey how I felt.

The car slowed, pulling over to a stop on the side of the road. “So maybe there’s something that should be said before we get to coffee, am I right?” Rose suggested.

I didn’t - couldn’t - look up at her. “I fooled around with Oliver last night and-and-I think-and… oh my god,” I garbled into my hands.

“So what’s the problem?” Rose asked. “I mean, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife whenever you two are in the same room. Was it assault?”

I looked up into her icy blues, utter shock written all over my face. “No! God no! He was so… he asked. And I was all there for it. I don’t even know why things just went zero to sixty so fast and every little bit of logic just flew out of my head and I knew I shouldn’t have messed with the Alpha but it was so… good.” The words flew out of my mouth at probably the fastest rate I had ever spoken.

“So what’s the problem?” she repeated.

“Rose, I think he’s my mate.” There it was, out in the open. The big ‘M’ word I had been refusing to even think.

'Bingo! Knew you could do it, kid.'

'Not helping, Tala,' I gritted through my mental teeth at her.

Rose’s eyes bugged wide and a smile played on her lips. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s good news, though!” Rose nodded encouragingly.

“For who?” I practically cried. “I don’t want a mate yet!”

Rose cocked an eyebrow. “But you do want a mate, right?”

I had no idea what this girl was getting at. “Maybe. Yes. I don’t know! I can’t even shift yet! I hadn’t thought of any of the other werewolf stuff! I guess I just kind of figured when I found the one we’d fall in love instead of just being assigned.” I looked down at my hands. I could feel the tears pricking at my eyes, but I did my best to ignore them.
Did I want a mate? Equal parts yes and no. I saw and agreed with the argument for both sides. Did I want Oliver to be my mate? I didn’t even know him, really. Thus far, my feelings had been somewhere between a crush and he’s so hot I’d jump his bones given the chance. But it also kind of sounded like you don’t really get time to get to know your mate before finding out - it’s just love at first sight. Maybe that was why I was so okay with things going too far last night. And maybe I was wrong and I was just confused and it was something other than the mate bond I was feeling. I mean, he gave no indication that the sparky feelings were reciprocated.

Rose let out a deep breath and chewed on her lower lip. “You’ll want to check with someone whose mated, but I don’t think that’s how the mate bond works,” she said. “It really just makes it so you two want close proximity and want to protect each other and uh… procreation. You still get to fall in love.” Rose pulled the car back on the road.

“But for real now, though, I just got off of overnight patrols. Coffee.”

There was another question burning on my mind I was too scared to ask. Did Oliver feel it, too?