Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

There’s hardly a dreamless night for me, I must say. Last night, I had dreams of sluts in clubs, multiple grey eyes, strange texts from strange numbers, and Mia Hands accusing me of killing her brother. Yes, Mia Hands. That is her name. And somehow, I have formed this adage of “Mia Hands has broken my arm of friendship with her.”

Sad, right?

I miss her though… ain’t gonna lie.

Enough of the self pity already! I’m hungry! What’s there to eat? Nothing. Ethan cleared everything.

I log into my Affiliate Marketing portal on Amazon to check out my recent sales. Ever since I was in hospital and until I got back, I had not checked my sales or even tried to increase my working pace, and I am quite sure that my sales percentage must have dropped. As expected, it had dropped by 15%, which meant loss. A wave of sadness gushed through me as I sympathised with what would have been, if some shits hadn’t happened.

Affiliates Marketing was the only luxury of a job I could afford. First of all, I totally disliked the idea of having to work for any bossy CEO, having to get up before 8:00AM not just once in a while but every single time to go to some damn, boring work; I mean, having to show up even when I didn’t feel like really grossed me out.

I hated being seen everyday, being busy for nothing; maybe something, but I just hated the idea of having to obey the tight rules of some rude bosses in New York. So I made up my mind to become an affiliate marketer after college, and of course, I love my job!

I don’t have to wear heels and slits to twist around in offices. I could just sit in bed all day with my grumpy pyjamas, oversized hoodie, and maybe, headphones; taking orders, marketing more products.

Whew!

Easy peasy right? Well, it’s not that easy when you start, but it gets better with time; really better. I can comfortably say my job has helped me a great deal, and I am totally independent.

Yeah, independent, but still depending on the job for more money… ugh!


A call comes in and I glance at the caller ID. It's Mother! Oh no! I promised to call back last time, but never returned the call. I really did not feel like talking to her, so I forwarded the call into my voicemail, but she called again and again, until I was forced to take the call.

“Hi Mom! I’m in the middle of something. I’mma call you back shortly, bye!” I say quickly but before I try to hang up on her, I hear her blare from the other end of the phone:

“Galena Fields!”

I guess someone’s in trouble now.

“Mom…?” I reply shakily.

“How long will you be in the middle of something?” Her shrill, angry voice could be heard over the phone. Very typical of her when she’s damn mad. I could tell that she was in a fit of fury.

“Mom…?” Nah… she won’t let me speak now.

“Oh save it Galena! I wonder what is this something you’re always in the middle of, you just keep me hanging every time!” I could feel the fire in her voice.

“Mom I…”

“Whatever something you’re in the middle of, get to the end of it Galena!” She interrupts again.

No, this is too much for me… all these for me?

“Mom,” I sob, “please stop it, please!”

“Unlike you, I’m not in the middle of anything!” she snaps back at me and I find myself crying.

“Why do you treat me like this mom? My head hurts and you’re gonna make it hurt more?” I spill amidst my sobs, and she is quiet for a while. Maybe, having a rethink.

“Are you taking your medications baby?” she asks in an apologetic voice, but I’m not taking it anymore.

“Don’t baby me mom. Don’t baby me!” I cry.

“Come on sweetheart, don’t be like that with mommy. I just missed talking to my girl.” I could feel the pain and sincerity in her voice.

“I missed talking to you too!” I cry even louder, I can’t control my sobs any longer.

“Then why don’t you just talk to me baby? It feels like you’re trying to run away from me.” Her voice is really sad and quiet, and I could bet she was crying too.

How do I bring myself to tell her that I was violated or even more, I am being blackmailed by someone I do not know, or how do I even tell her about Ethan, the guy whose relationship with me she strongly resented!? How, just how?

“Mom… I… I can’t.” I cry even more, my heart breaking in despair.

“Please don’t say that baby, please! Whatever it is, mommy would not be mad at you!” She’s really crying now. I can hear her clearly. We both cry into the phone, and if there was a way, we’d be holding each other in our arms, crying on each other’s shoulders.

“Please, don’t end the call on me baby, please!” she begs. “Let me just hear it all, even if it’s your cry, but do not suffer this alone. I want to be here with you.” Her words both melt my heart and leave a stinging feeling to my heart, and I can’t help the outpour of my tears.

“Mom!” I cry, “Forgive me!”

“Come on baby, no matter what it is, I love you okay?”

“I love you!” I cry.

Do I even deserve her love right now? She warned me! She was always right but I didn’t just like her tone.

“Mom… it’s err… uh…” I try to confess but the words get hooked in my throat, and I cry even more.

“Hush now baby! Cry. Cry all you want. You can tell me about it later.”

Her words were a healing balm, and yes, I cried! And she just stayed there on the other end of the phone, crying with me, until I’ve had my fill.