Chapter Forty-four

Chapter Forty-four

“So,” my mom began as she clasped her hands over her knees while she gazed at me as I sat a distance between us, beside her on the bed.

I was nervous and anxious about what she had to say, and I fondled my hands nervously to steady my aching, terrified nerves.


“Mom, can we talk about this some other time?” I asked wearily with a sober look on my face. I too had questions. A lot of them at that. I still wanted to know what happened after my dad and Roland Bones delivered the package to Point B. I still wanted to know the aim of those men at Point B that their boss had sent to set them up. I wanted to understand how all these had anything to do with me at all and why he was so vengeful, coming for me like that. I wanted to know what grievances he had against my dad, who seemed to be his best friend back then, and why they separated and he was just showing up like that after so many years.

What did any of these have to do with my mom or me? I wanted to know all of it. I wanted to know all that my dad ever did, so it won’t come as a surprise when I heard it from someone else, because it would really hurt me, and he’d be so scared to face me. And I didn’t want any of that to happen.

“Talk about it some other time? Really?” she asked in a pissed off tone as she glared at me.

“What time do you want us to discuss this, Miss Fields?” she asked again, “what time would we have again like this when you’re always away and never let me talk to you?” She was angry, and she sounded devastated.

“Mom!” I chided sulkily.

“Mm-hmm?” she pursed her lips grimly. “You know I’ve never loved that Ethan guy, and I know he made you cry, and you promised to tell me all about it, so, go ahead!” she nodded, intriguing me to speak.

I sighed in relief as I noticed that all her rants weren’t about the texts but Ethan. She believed he had been the reason for my tears, from our last call where we both had to cry into the phone and hold each others’ arms virtually. Well, now was even better to do all that, since we were together, sitting some inches apart from each other, but I couldn’t just make that happen.

“Mom,” I sighed, looking down at my fingers that I fondled with nervously. “I don’t even know where to start.” I looked up at her guiltily with emotions pooling up in my eyes.

“Just… say it anyhow, start from somewhere.” she encouraged as she stared deeply into my eyes, waiting for what I had to say.

“I… I err… I and Ethan broke up a…”

“Great! Great!” my mom chimed excitedly, interrupting me as she clapped her hands in joy. She seemed so happy with the news.

“I never liked him anyway. You’re too good for him. Don’t be sad honey.”

“Mom… it’s kinda complicated.” I said wearily.

“You got back together?” she asked, a bit disappointed.

“Not exactly… umm… I’m kinda caught in another situationship with someone else.” the words rolled off my tongue subconsciously and I immediately regretted it. Now, I’ll have to tell her about this situationship.

“What situationship?” she asked, looking confusedly at me.

“Um… it’s kinda like… nothing serious. I don’t know.” I said exasperatedly as I totally avoided her eyes but she was not letting that slide any time soon.

“Talk to me, Galena.” she probed as she stared anxiously at me. I glanced at her and quickly looked away. I couldn’t bear the burning inquisitions of her eyes that looked like they could strip me naked under her intent stares.

“I um… It wasn’t intentional. We kinda um… we met that night I broke up with Ethan.” I tried to dodge the main point but I knew that just like me, my mom never let any cases unfinished as far as her curiosity was drawn to it, and I knew that there was no escaping this, no matter how hard I may try.

“You met? Who did you meet?” she asked again with a more confused look.

“It’s complicated.” I said more quietly. How was I going to bring myself to tell my mom about Brandon? Someone I wasn’t even sure of yet. It would look like I always attract the wrong people, like I’m always drawn to negatives. Sad.

“Tell me all about it. I don’t care how complicated it might be, I want to know about it.” she said almost exasperated, but I was silent, so silent like the grazing of the sun over the clouds. I was silent but so many thoughts ran through my mind, breaking me, scaring me and leaving me a bit disoriented deep down.

I felt the warmth of her palm gently graze over my skin. She squeezed my right hand gently, reassuringly and I could almost feel her pain - seeing that I had a lot of shits to handle and couldn’t let her help me fix some of them. I didn’t want her doing that. I didn’t want to bother her with all of my troubles, even though it would lessen the weight of my pain, I couldn’t bear to watch her get sad over me, my own choices, my decisions, when she apparently advised me against it from the very beginning.

She was always right. Absolutely. But I didn’t just like her tone, I didn’t like that she made it look like she had to choose who will date me, or worse, tell me who to love and who not to, but I didn’t know she saw through the facade and was warning me of the impending danger that laid ahead, and she was only using the tone of the disaster ahead to warn me, but I didn’t understand her.

Who was I to know?

She sounded paranoid, overprotective, controlling and overbearing, and I didn’t like any of that, so I resorted to revolt, doing what I wanted anyway, even though she was not totally in support of it, and I believed she will eventually support my decisions, but here I am four years later, regretting every bit of it.

“I failed you mom.” I confessed as the tears found my eyes finally.

“We all do fail at something. But that doesn’t mean we are failures, it only shows that learning is taking place.”

“Mom, this is different. I slept with a stranger.” The words came unbid from my throat like water escaping an unlocked tap.

I couldn’t explain the look she had on her face but I knew I was in for trouble. Sleeping with strangers was a big no for her, it felt slutty to her to do so, but gratefully, before she could say another word, my dad barged into us saying;

“Hey waffle, I made you some honey waffles.”

Waffles saved the moment!