Chapter 103

I straightened, forcing a neutral expression as I reached for it. The Queen Dowager's seal glared up at me like a warning. It was weird, I had even forgotten that she existed, Rowan's grandmother.

It was a wonder she was still alive somewhere. I wondered what she wanted. 

"She wishes to see me?" I murmured, unfolding the parchment.

Beatrice nodded. "Immediately your highness. I hear it's quite urgent."

I swallowed the bile rising in my throat and forced myself to stand. "Very well. Prepare my clothes."

Beatrice hesitated. "You still look pale, my lady. Perhaps I should tell them you are unwell—"

"No. It's nothing." My voice came out sharper than intended, and I softened it quickly. "No, I'll go. Just bring me my best gown."

Beatrice didn't argue, though I caught the concerned look in her eyes before she turned to fetch my things.

By the time I arrived at the Queen Dowager's sitting room, my face was perfectly painted, my gown cinched just right to disguise the changes in my body. But beneath the layers of powder and silk, I was exhausted. So so exhausted. 

Princess Blanca was already seated, sipping from a delicate porcelain cup, her golden hair gleaming in the morning light. She glanced up as I entered and smiled.

"Princess Arin," she greeted. "How lovely to see you."

I forced a smile and curtsied. "Your Highness."

The Queen Dowager sat at the head of the table, her expression unreadable as she gestured for me to take a seat.

"Breakfast has been prepared," she said. "Eat."

The mere thought of food made my stomach turn, but I reached for a piece of bread, forcing myself to take a bite.

Princess Blanca, however, was watching me closely. "You don't look well," she said suddenly.

I stiffened. "It's just the morning air."

She hummed, setting her cup down. "That's very strange. You look just like I did when I was expecting my daughter. I had the worst morning sickness. I could not look at food without choking."

I nearly choked.

Princess Blanca beamed, clearly pleased with herself. "Oh, how wonderful it would be if you were pregnant! Lucian will be thrilled of course, this would probably hasten his recovery I remember how it felt—so much nausea, the cravings, the way my body changed so quickly..."

I set my bread down. "I am not pregnant."

She tilted her head, unconvinced. "Are you sure?"

"I think I would know," I snapped, sharper than I intended.

Blanca blinked, surprised by my tone, but then a knowing smile tugged at her lips. "Of course. Forgive me. I was too forward." 

I forced myself to calm down. "There is nothing to forgive. But please, let's not speak of such things. My husband is gravely sick, this isn't the time for such." 

The Queen Dowager, who had been silent until now, finally spoke. "Princess Blanca, I believe Princess Arin has made herself clear."

Blanca held up her hands in surrender. "Very well, I won't press further." But the glint in her eyes told me she wasn't convinced.

I clenched my hands in my lap, fear gripping me. How much longer could I keep this secret? 

..............

The Queen Dowager sipped from her tea cup, her gaze sweeping over me and Blanca before she finally spoke.

"You both must be wondering why I have called you here."

Blanca set down her cup, curiosity evident on her face. "I was, in fact."

The Queen Dowager folded her hands on the table. "I have been tasked with selecting a new bride for the Alpha King, as you both must know, Isabelle had left quite a commotion while leaving. Now Rowan has to marry quickly and also produce and heir soon to put and end to all those unfounded claims Isabelle had made. It is time for us to select Rowan's new bride."

The words sent a sharp pang through my chest, but I kept my face neutral, nodding as if this did not bother me.

Blanca, on the other hand, smiled. "That is an excellent idea, Grandmother. The wolf clans are restless, and a new queen would bring stability. And it would let them know that the king values their input and their concerns." 

"Precisely." The Queen Dowager looked at me. "You and Arin, will help us decide on who to pick. Your insight will be valuable."

I forced a polite nod. "Of course, Your Majesty."

But inside, I was boiling. I did not want to sit and help choose a woman to marry Rowan. The thought of it made me feel sick.

The gardens were in full bloom, the air thick with the scent of roses and jasmine. A long table had been set up beneath the shade of an old oak tree, and six young women stood before us, their hands clasped demurely in front of them.

Three of them came from noble families, their gowns rich with embroidery and jewels. The other three were daughters of the wolf clan chiefs, their presence a clear attempt to mend the divide between Rowan and the clans.

The Queen Dowager gestured toward the first girl. "Let us begin."

I sat stiffly beside Blanca, my fingers clenched in my lap as the questioning began.

Blanca leaned forward with a friendly smile. "Tell us your name and something about yourself."

The first girl, a petite brunette in a delicate lavender gown, curtsied. "I am Lady Evelyn Fairchild, daughter of Lord Fairchild. I am well-versed in diplomacy and the arts. I believe a queen should bring grace and wisdom to the throne."

I tilted my head, studying her. Her voice was soft, almost too soft. She looked fragile. Weak. She would not last a day. The Royal Concubine will eat her up and spit her out. She wouldn't be able to survive. 

"You say that you're well versed in diplomacy, how would you handle the recent conflict between the wolf clans?" I asked coolly.

Evelyn hesitated. "I—I would seek advice from the council and act with fairness."

"And if the council can't help you?! You should have a more clearer answer. What would you do then?!"

I asked. 

"I..." she trailed off.

I let out a hum. Diplomacy indeed. She would crumble under pressure.

Blanca gave me a sideways glance but said nothing.

The next girl, one of the wolf clan daughters, stepped forward. She had long, dark hair tied in a thick braid, her posture strong and confident.

"I am Nessa, daughter of Chief Rorik," she said boldly. "I do not believe a queen should just sit on a throne looking pretty. She must be strong enough to command respect."

Blanca chuckled. "A refreshing answer."

I frowned. "And how would you gain the respect of the nobles? You know while being a chief is very important, the nobles are still considered the ruling class." 

Nessa crossed her arms. "By proving that I belong. A queen does not beg for respect. She earns it. I will earn my respect!" 

I raised a brow. "Not through brute force. You could learn to be a little more diplomatic from Evelyn here. Perhaps you two should be friends. She is too timid and you are too blunt." 

She was too blunt. Too reckless. She would alienate half the court within days and get on everyone's bad side immediately. 

The questioning continued, each girl offering their responses with varying levels of confidence. I found faults in every single one of them. One was too meek, another too arrogant. One lacked intelligence, another lacked poise.

I realized I was being harsh, but I couldn't stop myself. The thought of any of these women standing beside Rowan made me furious.

Blanca finally turned to me, amusement flickering in her eyes. "You are being quite strict, Princess Arin."

The Queen Dowager nodded in agreement. "Indeed. These girls are not perfect, but no one is. You must be fair in your judgment." 

I took a slow breath, forcing my jealousy down. They were right. I had to be fair.

The last girl, a golden-haired beauty named Lillian, stepped forward with a nervous smile.

"I may not be as strong as some of the others," she admitted, "but I believe I can bring unity and balance. I am patient, and I understand both court life and the wolf clans. My mother was noble, my father a chief."