Chapter 145
The physician's words echoed in my head long after I'd stormed out of the wing. .
"I’m sorry your Majesty. I won't do it. The risks are too great."
His voice had been calm but firm, and the resolve in his eyes told me that no amount of pleading or demanding would change his mind. He had refused to administer the flower, he even refused to use it on a test subject, despite everything I had agreed to.
I clenched my fists as I made my way down the halls of the castle. My skin burned with frustration, my heart pounding with helpless rage.
Why couldn't I just remember? Why did it feel like there was an entire world locked away inside me, just out of reach?
The thought made my chest tighten. I was sick of feeling like a ghost in my own body, of not knowing who I really was.
I was sick of being useless, not being able to help Rowan. Not being able to remember anyone or anything. It was the worst feeling ever.
I barely noticed Rowan stepping into my path until I nearly collided with him. His dark brows furrowed as he caught my arm, steadying me.
"Ariadne?" His voice was low, laced with concern. "What's wrong? Why are you here?”
I exhaled sharply, yanking my arm back. "Nothing."
His gaze didn't waver. "Liar. Something is bothering you. It’s written all over your face.”
I gritted my teeth. "I just—I can't keep living like this. Not knowing anything. I asked the physician for help, he said there was a flower to make me remember. I told him to give it to me and he refused." I shook my head, my voice raw with frustration. "He said it's too dangerous. That it could kill me or break my mind."
Rowan's jaw tightened. "Then he was right to refuse. He shouldn’t have told you about it in the first place. It’s extremely dangerous.”
My head snapped up, anger flaring in my chest. "What?"
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Ariadne, I understand how you feel—"
"No, you don't!" I snapped. "You have your memories. You know exactly who you are. I don't! I don't even know if I'm making the right decisions, because I don't remember what kind of person I was before all this. I can’t help you in this war because I don’t remember anything. And you're telling me that I should just accept that?"
Rowan's expression darkened. "I'm telling you that I'd rather have you alive than risk losing you completely. Do you understand that?"
I swallowed hard, my breath unsteady. "No. I just want to remember. I want to stop feeling so lost. I need space, Rowan."
He stilled, his golden eyes searching mine. A muscle in his jaw twitched, but after a long pause, he nodded. "Fine." His voice was softer now, reluctant. "I'll give you space. But promise me you won't do anything reckless. Just please… for the sake of our child.”
I couldn't promise that.
So I said nothing.
Rowan sighed heavily and stepped back, letting me go. "Get some rest."
I turned and walked away, not trusting myself to say anything else.
………..
The night was quiet.
Too quiet.
I stirred in my sleep, something tugging at the edge of my consciousness. A whisper of movement. A shift in the air.
Then—
A rough hand clamped over my mouth.
I jolted awake, my heart hammering.
"Shh," Rowan's voice whispered in my ear. His grip was firm but gentle. "Don't scream."
Fear spiked through me, but his warmth was grounding. I blinked up at him, my vision adjusting to the dark. He was crouched beside my bed, his body tense, his golden eyes sharp.
"What—" I tried to speak, but he shook his head.
"No time," he murmured. "Get up. Now."
His urgency sent a bolt of adrenaline through me. I pushed back the covers and swung my legs over the side of the bed. Rowan grabbed my wrist, pulling me toward the far wall of my chamber.
"What's going on?" I whispered.
His grip tightened. "Braam soldiers. They got past the outer walls. A dozen of them managed to infiltrate the castle walls. There must be a spy in this castle.”
My stomach turned to ice. "How?"
"I don't know. But they're inside." He yanked open a section of the wall—no, a hidden door I hadn't noticed before. Behind it was a dark, narrow passage. "You're not safe here. Come on."
A thousand questions burned on my tongue, but I swallowed them down and stepped into the passage. Rowan followed, pulling the hidden door shut behind us. The walls were cool and damp, the air thick with the scent of old stone.
Rowan turned to me, his hands gripping my shoulders. "Stay here."
"What?" My pulse pounded. "No—"
"Yes," he cut me off. His voice was low, urgent. "I'll come back for you. Just stay here, and don't make a sound."
A distant crash echoed through the walls.
Rowan's head snapped toward the noise, his entire body tensing. He pulled a dagger from his belt and pressed it into my hands.
"If anyone other than me comes through that door, you use this. Do you understand?"
I gripped the cold steel. "Rowan—"
"Promise me, Ariadne."
I hesitated—but the raw, unyielding protectiveness in his gaze made my throat tighten.
"I promise."
His hands lingered on my arms for half a second longer before he turned and slipped back through the door. It shut behind him with a soft click, sealing me in the darkness.
Silence.
Then—
The clash of steel.
My breath caught.
I pressed my ear against the wall, my heart slamming against my ribs. The sound of fighting echoed through the stone, muffled but unmistakable.
Rowan was fighting.
I gripped the dagger tightly, my fingers trembling.
The sounds grew louder—more footsteps, more shouts. A grunt of pain. I sucked in a breath, every instinct screaming at me to move, to do something.
But I had promised him.
A deep voice barked an order. "Find the queen! We’re not leaving without her.”
I stiffened, ice crawling through my veins.
They were looking for me.
I took a step back, pressing against the cold stone. My breath was shallow, my mind racing. If they found me here—
A pained cry rang out.
Rowan.
I sucked in a sharp breath, my entire body tensing.
Then, silence.
My blood roared in my ears.
The door handle rattled.
I raised the dagger.
If it wasn't Rowan on the other side of that door,
I would be ready.
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