Chapter32 ~ Sultan craving for her

Gulaab POV
"Enough is Enough"
I said and looked directly into his eyes in anger.
He looked very angry and started walking towards the other direction of the chamber in front of a wooden almirah and opened it with his complete force.
I followed him with quick steps and looked at what was inside of Almirah.
The almirah was filled with jars of alcohol and I didn't think twice before standing between him and almirah.
My back hit the wooden shelves of it and I looked sharply into his eyes. Saying 'No'
He looked into my eyes and ordered me in a rough voice.
"Move,"
"Sultan, not anymore... You have drunk a lot"
I said looking into his eyes without any fear.
He took a breath and looked away for a moment before caging me there.
He kept his hand beside me on both sides and leaned into my ear saying.
"Stop me, if you can"
His hot breath fanned my ear and he sucked my earlobe for a moment.
I felt goosebumps over my neck and my lashes forced close for a moment.
I looked into his eyes as he seems impossible.
But, I couldn't leave him like that. He was surely not in his good senses and upset. And, the fact he was upset because of me. I could sense that he didn't like me being with Ibrahim and punishing him for that.
I had to do something.
I have to do something. I can teach him a good lesson in the morning. Right?
He moved me aside and took out a jar and with the imbalanced steps reached the couch and sat there.
He opened the wooden cap of the jar and filled the glass with it.
I quickly walked closer to him and stood in front of him.
I didn't know what would I be doing.
But, If I left him alone there I didn't think it would be good for both of us.
He was taking the glass closer to his lips and I didn't twice before jerking the glass from his hand.
The glass fell on the ground and liquid spilled over the floor. The sound of glass hitting the floor echoed in the chamber and he dangerously looked at me.
You can do it.
He just wanted to listen that I liked him and it was true somehow. I couldn't see any harm in accepting it one last time.
I took a breath and collected all my strength before going closer and sitting on his lap slowly looking into his.
I waited if he objects but he didn't. His face turned shocked.
I felt as if my heart would come out and he got caught off guard with this action of mine.
He looked into my eyes and I snaked his neck with my arms hugging him slowly.
I collected his face in the corner of my neck, closed to me.
His nerves softened and he welcomed me quickly hiding his face in my neck. He didn't even a word. And I collected all my strength.
He just wanted to listen to it.
"Sultan, I am all yours. I don't like anyone then you"
He softened quickly and I felt his rough hand hugging my waist and pulling me closer.
His strong thighs felt like wood as he settled me in his lap.
"Really?"
He asked.
"Ji"
I agreed.
The moment stopped slowly. It felt as if the storming sea calmed down looking at the sunrays. The warmth of his body soothed me and I closed my eyes for a moment. He sat like that for some time and I could feel him relaxing now.
I broke the hug slowly and moved my finger in his hair slightly. He closed his eyes and I could see the tense lines on his forehead.
I didn't know but I was feeling pity for his condition. I could feel how alone he was feeling that time and since when he was feeling it. How many nights he spends like that drinking alone.
I didn't know if he ever shared his pain with anyone or not.
I pressed my lips against his forehead and then looked at his face.
He opened his eyes and I could water in them.
"You are not going to leave me alone, Right?" He asked again.
"Never," I didn't know what kind of promises I was making at that moment.
He pulled me closer and hid his face in my chest. His hot breaths were over my skin and I closed my eyes in agreement.
"I really like you so much, Whenever you stay close to me I feel as if there are no worries in my life. But, I cannot see you close to anyone."
I smiled hearing his possessive confession and asked him in slow voice.
"What if I liked someone else?"
He broke the hug and looked into my eyes saying.
"I never thought it before. I didn't know that you would be becoming so meaningful to me. Seeing you laughing with Ibrahim, spending time with him. I felt bad. And especially when you look so beautiful in those blue, cream, and yellow attires."
He was looking for me all the time. My heartbeats raced to hear him.
"I thought you don't like me anymore, especially when we got through so many fights and I asked you not to stay with me. I didn't know but I was feeling so weak to accept that I... That I am falling for you. It's like I am cheating on her."
I cupped his cheek and looked into his eyes.
"Sultan, you are a human and a human needs love to survive. It was not your fault how you lose her but it's not your destiny either to punish yourself for your whole life. I know you love her so much and neither I want to force you to start loving anyone but you should not punish yourself for it. It was definitely a misfortune of yours that you lost a lot of close ones at an early age. You didn't do anything. Nothing was your fault. Rather you deserve to be loved more and more." I said and muttered slowly.
"Begum, then love me"
His voice sounds hoarse and tensed.
"I am trying," I said after a long pause and he seems to calm down now.
His anger seems to lower and I asked him slowly.
"You were upset just because I was with Ibrahim?"
He moved his face and said.
"Yes,"
I smiled hearing him and asked again.
"Do I matter to you this much?" I asked.
"I don't have anyone to collect in my arms like this. And the only one you like keeps ignoring you. Its hurts" He said.
I was slowly feathering his hair when he said suddenly.
"Will you miss me?"
I broke the hug and looked at his face.
"Why will I miss you?" I asked and added.
"Are you going somewhere?"
He looked into my eyes and cupped my cheek before saying.
"Maybe... forever"
What the hell is he saying?
But, before I could ask he pressed his mouth against my chest and started pulling the blouse low looking into my eyes.
I smiled and looked at his peaceful face when he pushed his fingers inside the hem of the blouse and brought it low to reveal my chest.
In that darkness, it was hardly possible for him to see me better but for me to shiver his touch was enough.
He groaned when he pressed his lips over my bud and the warmness of his mouth melted me deeply.
His hand around my waist didn't allow me to move when he was sucking on my skin. He left it for a moment only to take a breath that sent shivers when the coldness of it feathered my skin.
He sucked me softly then turned a little hungry and I could feel his sweet bites all over my bosom.
My mouth hung open when didn't stop sucking it even after some time.
"Ahh, You like it?" I asked slowly.
He bit me a little and I tilted my head backward when he said.
"Can't get enough"
I closed my eyes as I felt his hand over them.
The rough texture of his hand made me feel sensations all over my skin and the thought of him doing it all over the bed hit my mind.
I hesitated when I realized that this could not end well. He was drunk and he would hardly remember anything tomorrow.
"I want to see you,"
He said and I came out of my senses.
I looked at him and quickly stood up from his lap turning away and saying.
"No,"
He stood up and came beside me saying.
"Why not?"
"You are my Begum, I am your husband. We will do it anyway and anytime."
He said and moved my hair aside and pulled the last string of the blouse.
He stood behind me, closer that I could feel his bare chest against my back.
My lashes forced closed when he raked his hand over my waist and pushed me slowly on the bed.
He placed his face over my chest and I blinked nervously.
I prayed silently that he falls to sleep and stop craving for my chest.
He started sucking on my bosom again and then he silently placed his head on my stomach.
I couldn't feel any movement of his now.
He was keeping his heavy face on me and I slowly placed my hand on his head.
I started feathering his hair as he fell asleep there and finally looked peaceful.
I didn't know what happened to him suddenly. I never saw him drinking this much and especially angry.
Since I was here I never knew that he didn't like talking about his feelings like that with me. I didn't know whether he means whatever he said or not.
But, it was true that I was affecting him.
I looked at his sleeping face and then my sight fell on my wrist. It got a cut because of bangles and it bled.
But, the skin seemed to be thickened now and it stopped bleeding.
I remember how he forced me over the bed and looking very angry. I reminded how I slapped him today.
I shouldn't do it more often otherwise he would kill me someday.
I did scare today but knew that he wouldn't harm me.
He definitely needs a punishment tomorrow for his behaviour of today.
He never harmed me, maybe he wasn't like what I thought. Rather he was a broken soul like me who was just craving for love. He did was big, mature but still punishes himself for whatever happened.
But, whatever he did to me today brought me in a dilemna. He touched my untouched parts and I felt as if I couldn't deny him. I didn't know but I felt as if I belonged to him. I must be angry with him but I was feeling pity for him. But, there was no chance I would be letting him do that again.
I feathered his hair as he was sleeping soundly and pulled the shoulder of my blouse up adjusting it.
I keep on feathering his hair I fell into sound sleep.
I woke up when I felt a sharp pain in my hand.
I lifted my lashes only to realize that my hand was paining badly. I tried to move but I couldn't.
He was sleeping over my hand.
I looked at him as he was sleeping and his body was over my hand and I tried to push him away.
But, he was heavy and I finally was able to slip my hand under him.
I cried and tears started flowing my eyes unknowingly. My hand went numb and I couldn't feel it.
Hearing me, he opened his eyes and adjusted to the light.
I quickly pulled the comforter up to hide was slightly revealing chest and shook my hand to feel it.
He sat up quickly.
"You here?"
I looked at him as he held his head and cried in pain.
"Ohh, My head. It's bursting"
Then his gaze diverted to me and then to the chamber.
"Begum, what happened?" He asked slowly.
And I cried more that he forgot everything.
"Why are you crying?" He asked and I just lowered my gaze still not feeling my hands.
He looked around on the bed and I was following his gaze silently. Suddenly, my sight fell on the bloodstains on the bedsheet. My attention instantly went to the broken bangles.
"What the hell?"
He screamed and threw the comforter away and looked at me.
"Hey, Hey... I am sorry" He said and I thinned my eyebrows looking at him.
He forgot everything. I knew it.
"Begum, Look at me," He said with a worried face and took a slight long pause before saying.
"Did I hurt you a lot?" He asked and I slightly get to know where that conversation was heading to. He forgot everything and might be thinking that.
Without thinking twice I nodded.
"Ohh my god!" He said lowering his face and looked at me biting his lips in nervousness.
"Begum, I am sorry. I was drinking last night and I don't remember anything" He said and diverted his gaze to the bloodstains again. A few broken bangles were also there and he asked me slowly.
"Did I force myself on you?" He said slowly expecting me to say 'No' but he did trouble me a lot last night.
I nodded my head again and washed my tears with my hand.
"Stop crying, Please I am sorry," He said and his face turned sad and almost like crying.
He wasn't that bad. Right?
I smiled inside looking at his face and made my mind to not clear his doubt ever.
I slowly moved the comforter low only to tie my blouse back.
He lifted his gaze and his sight fell on my chest as he asked.
His eyes were gone big when he asked with the shock.
"What happened to you?"