Chapter46 ~ Late Night Conversation

Gulaab POV
"Be Ready, Gulaab"
I tried to look behind the emotion into his eyes.
"Ready for what? For babies?"
He laughed.
"No, I am sure a chicken can't deliver eggs"
I straightened myself and thinned my eyebrows.
"Was that an insult?"
He smirked.
"Nah, it is a fact"
I got it. He was making fun of me.
I maintained a distance from him as I showed him that I was angry.
He pulled me closer hugging me and my shoulder collapsed with his breaking my bones in the process.
"Ouch,"
I let a fake cry out and he thinned his eyebrows.
"You are such an artist,"
I laughed.
"For what, you wants me to be ready?"
I inquired rubbing my palm together as I was feeling cold.
"To be strong, to be a fighter,"
"Why I need to be a fighter when I have such a strong husband,"
I felt blushed.
He smiled and took my hand in his.
"But, a girl should be independently strong. I am alive today but who knows about future,"
My face turned pale and I lifted my gaze to him.
"Stop talking non-sense,"
I gave him warning.
"Okay,"
He agreed and rubbed my hands to calm the andreline that rushed to all nerves of my body few moments ago. His eyes holding concern for me.
"Begum, all I mean to say is you know very well about your condition."
I lifted my gaze to him.
"Condition?"
He sucked on his lower lip nervously and continued.
"You are suicidal,"
I didn't know why my heart beats raced suddenly.
"Begum, calm down"
He said hugging me tightly and placed his chin on my shoulder saying slowly.
"Whatever happened is your past. You went through it, struggled it, lived it and learned from it. Right?"
I nodded.
"But, you can't keep everything close and deep buried into your heart all those for ever,"
He breathed.
"I know,"
A slow and tender voice escaped my mouth.
"You do smile, laugh and are happy with me but still keeps your past inside you that keep making you weak. It unknowingly harm your confidence and powers. I know, I don't have any right to teach you anything but looking at you when you think of dyeing makes me weak the most. All those slight marks still visible on your skin reminds me every time that my beautiful rose is broken,"
Tears collected in my eyes. His voice slow and tender.
"Begum, I want my wife to be stronger who can't let situations rule her but she rules all the situations around her."
"I am strong,"
"No, you aren't"
He kissed my hair saying slowly.
"You have to be stronger in all the situations. You can't let the negetive thoughts rule you. One who gets a human life is luckiest one. You should never think about ending it."
"But, I can't control when bad thoughts hit me,"
I tried to explain.
"Of course, you can control,"
I looked above to look into his eyes.
"Whenever you get a bad thought just take a deep breath and feel the air getting inside and outside of you. You can't control if anything bad happened and going to happen. All you can do is learn and move ahead and that's the toughest thing. Just remember the good moments and take a few breathes. It will work and don't forget to smile. Everything will be fine."
"Are you sure,"
He nodded and placed another soft kiss on my hair.
"Sultan, you won't leave me forever. Right?"
He looked into my eyes and I saw a kind of silence on his face. No expression visible on his face. My heart beats started to race again.
But, he nodded.
"I will never leave you, only if you promise me to be stronger and stronger."
I nodded.
"I will try,"
"You have to,"
I didn't know why suddenly he was telling me all those things but it was good for me. Right?
All he wanted me to be a powerful person emotionally. That, I wasn't not.
His concern was correct and I do needed to think about it too.
We both stayed silent for sometime until a question hit my mind.
"Sultan,"
"Hn,"
He angled the woods into fire breaking the gaze.
"Sultan, why do you hate Roses?"
He looked at me and smiled.
"I don't hate roses,"
He corrected.
"But, you don't like them,"
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I hate them,"
He said.
"But, why don't you like them?"
He lied beside me and I looked at him when he held my wrist and pulled me closer, placing my head over his chest covering us with blanket up to chest.
He snaked my waist with his one head and placed his other one under his head like a pillow.
I felt his finger gradually feathering my waist when his gaze hold mine and he muttered slowly.
"Roses are unnecessarily loved by people. I mean look at other flowers they are helpful for people, used as medicines and have so much uses. But, Rose are loved just because of its outer beauty which shows that we people give importance only to the looks. We cherish and love someone who looks good and beautiful. We don't love someone who is beautiful inside,"
His words made clear sense to me.
"But, Sultan everyone has their own uniqueness."
"And, everyone has choices"
I instantly shut my mouth. I didn't think I could ever win in conversation with him. He seems so mature and thoughtful.
Suddenly, another thought hit my mind.
"So you have loved me if I was fat and ugly?"
"Begum, I don't love you because you are beautiful outside. But, I love you because I love spending time with you, I love you because I love you. I don't have any reason to love you."
I smiled.
I didn't know why I was falling for him even more and more for him.
"And, no one should love or hate anyone just because he likes her doing something. Like, she is beautiful so you love him and if she isn't you don't. Love is more than attraction and needs. Love is more eternal."
"Means?"
"Means, you love your mother?"
"Yes, very much"
"You love her because she is beautiful?"
"No, I love her because I love her. There is no reason."
"Exactly, in love there is no reason. If you find reasons in love, it will become hate because everyone has choices and love don't give anyone any right to mold anyone. That's why one should not hurt himself if his choices aren't met."
I thinned my eyebrows not understanding what he was saying.
"That means, you loves someone and that someone do have choices. It's his choice if he don't love you back the way you want. That doesn't mean you do stupid things for him. It harness people. Love is beautiful and it only makes you better."
His lips were moving beautifully when he was lecturing me over love. My eyes fixed on his lips while they were moving and when they stopped I just wanted to see those dark pink lips move again.
"Then,"
Suddenly, he pulled me closer and I diverted my gaze from his lips to eyes.
"You aren't even listening me,"
He complained.
"I am listening to you,"
"No, you are staring at my lips"
He caught me.
I smiled fake and tried to find some words.
"No, it isn't like th-"
But before I could complete he turned himself over me. Hovering over me he placed his elbows near my shoulder looking into my eyes.
My words hung in my throat and I could feel even more warmness around me.
"Why you look so distracted when I am talking to you?"
My gaze unknowingly again fixed on his lips.
He cleared his throat and I lifted my gaze to his eyes.
"Seems like someone is hungry for me?"
My stomach twisted hearing him and I try to shook my head.
"Sultan, you are my distraction"
I took a deep breathe.
"Why?"
"I don't know, ever since I saw you I feel magnetic force between us,"
He thinned his eyebrows and asked.
"Really?"
I nodded slightly.
"So, what you dream about me?"
I opened my mouth to say something but closed it instantly realising what he asked.
"Sultan, I don't dream about it... I mean... You"
I figured it out.
"You definitely do, after all you are a wild kid."
He laughed and I pushed him aside sitting up.
My cheeks blushing and he laughed.
"Wild?"
He nodded.
"You are wild,"
I corrected.
He pulled me closer suddenly and I fell over his chest again. And muttered in a slow and steamy voice.
"I am so much wild, test me"
I lowered my gaze and hide my smile.
"Sultan, don't tease me"
He smiled and I placed my head over his chest. He was feathering my hairs while we both were looking at the stars in the sky.
We spent the night looking at the stars, hand in hand and with the romantic and teasing talks.
I didn't know when I fell asleep in his warm embrace. It was like nothing matter to me then this moment. Ever since, I tried to find happiness in the walls of palace, luxuries, dresses and in my persona of Princess. But, never knew that I would feel peaceful and beautiful in the middle of woods with no bed, no attendees, no helpers and no luxuries.
Ever since, I wanted to spend this life. Being in love and loved by someone. It was like I wanted to fly and live again.
It was beautiful. Everything became beautiful with him.
I was becoming a better version of Gulaab now.
I forced my lashes open when in the deep sleep when I sensed noise of birds and rays of sunlight.
Sultan was wide awake and still feathering my head very slowly.
He looked at me and asked.
"Slept comfortably,"
I tried to sit up saying with a smile.
"Yeah,"
But, suddenly a sharp pain hit my back and I cried.
He instantly came into action sitting up and asked.
"Are you okay?"
"Seems like my back is frozen,"
He smirked and started messaging my back.
"You fragile rose,"
I tried to stand up and felt slightly well.
He came closer and about to pick me up in his arms but I took a few steps away.
"I can walk,"
I said shyly and looked around.
He nodded and I stretched my body to get relieved from slight pain.
"Let's go,"
He informed.
I nodded and we both collected our stuff. The fire was calm now and we started our journey again.
We both walked down the hill to the cottage. Our fight fell on a lady nearby a cottage far away from us.
We walked to her and greeted her.
She looked at us suspiciously.
"Actually, we are new here. Want to know if there is any cottage vacant around here,"
She thinned her eyebrows and seems like she was in her forties. There was slight wrinkles on her face and she said.
"Where have you come from?"
"Darmiyan Sultanate,"
Sultan informed.
"What's your name?"
For a moment we both stayed silent and Sultan said hesitantly.
"Rashid,"
"And her,"
"Umm, chitra"
I said quickly.
I don't know from where that name came into my mind.
"Aren't you muslim?"
I shook my head and Sultan said.
"She belong to Hind. I went for some business there and met here. We got married."
He smiled.
She smiled and inquired.
"Love marriage?"
"Yes," He said.
"No,"
We both said at the same time and looked at each other for our stupidity.
I turned to look at the lady and tried to smiled.
"Long story, heheh"
She smiled and said.
"That cottage is empty. My husband isn't home yet. You can stay there and I will inform whenever he come"
We both nodded and thanked her.
She smiled and went inside the cottage.
We both walked towards the cottage that were close to the waterfall. It was slightly away from us and I looked at Sultan.
"Rashid, beautiful name"
He smiled.
"Now, you can take this. Right?"