Anger

After school, Bryan didn't say a word. He wouldn't look at me. Maybe he already knows everything. I took the medicine box and intended to clean the blood on his lips from Jack's punch. I knocked on his bedroom door slowly.
"Bryan...!" I called.
"What is it?"
"Can I come in?"
"Up to you ...!"
I walked slowly and then sat next to him who was pensive. I wiped the blood that was starting to dry around his red lips with cotton.
"What stupid thing have you done?" Bryan asked coldly.
"W...what do you mean? I don't understand."
"Don't lie, Anka. When I was at the hospital, I felt like you were hiding something from me. I wanted to find out for myself."
"I... I ask that he withdraw his demands against you. That's all!"
"Recently you've changed. You're not the Anka I used to know. In the past you never lied or hid anything from me. You always listened to my words. At first I was happy because I thought you could do anything alone without my help anymore. But, it took a long time "Over time, my heart felt sick because I felt that you no longer needed me. I was happy taking care of you all this time. I never considered you to be a burden to me."
"Bryan, actually... I... I..." I stammered. I lowered my head. My tears started to flow.
"Why?"

"I lied when I said that I stayed at Clara's house that night. In fact, I went to meet Jack at his house. I begged him to let you go. I would do anything to get him to grant my request. At first Jack didn't want to, he threw me out. It was raining heavily, Jack told me to come in and he said he would let you go as long as...,"
"As long as what?"
"I...as long as a...I...I!"
"Come on Anka, say something clear!"
"I want to sleep with him."
"What? Oh... God, why did you do something stupid like that? Oh... no...!" Bryan said uncontrollably.
"Mom... I'm sorry Bryan. I don't know what to do. Since that incident, dad never came home. I'm confused about who to ask for help."
"You stupid ...!" Bryan shouted emotionally, he immediately slapped me and this was the first time he hit me.
"Bryan... please forgive me, all this time you have always sacrificed and fought for me but I never did anything for you. I even let you down, that's all I can do..." I said sobbing while begging at his feet.
"You don't have to do anything for me, until you destroy your honor like that. I'd rather rot in prison...!" he shouted. His hand continued to slap my cheek repeatedly.
"I'm sorry Bryan... I really love you. I don't know what else to do." I begged at his feet, my tears flowing freely.
Bryan sat down weakly, he held his head with emotion. Her tears flowed like a river.
"I'm sorry Mother... I'm useless. I couldn't look after Anka like you expected. I'm useless..." he said.
"Bryan, please let me sacrifice for you just once, let me be useful to you just this once," I said while hugging his body.
Bryan immediately returned my hug. We cried uncontrollably. I could feel a very deep wound, scarred in his heart and maybe that wound would never be able to be healed.
A few moments later our situation began to calm down. I leaned on his shoulder. Bryan didn't say anything. His eyes were still teary.
"I once heard someone say to me that struggle is a masculine trait in a man and sacrifice is a feminine trait in a woman. If a man sacrifices for a woman then the woman has nothing for him proud of herself because she only accepts the struggle and sacrifice of a man. That's how I feel all this time, you always fight and sacrifice for me, so that I have nothing more to give you. I just accept and continue to accept, and "This time I sacrificed for you and surely one day I will fight for you," I said.

"That's enough Anka, please don't do anything else to me."
"I don't want to, I will still do the best I can and I dedicate all of that just to you."
"You stupid little brother...!"
"Whatever you want to say I'm stupid, I'll still do it happily."
"Okay, I'll wait for your struggle!" Bryan started to smile, slowly our hearts began to calm down because we could both laugh together like before.

***

Evening arrived, the air started to get warm. Dad suddenly came home after not coming home for almost a month. We fall silent every time we see a father who looks scary. His eyes were sharp. His smile was cold without any warmth from a father. Dad sat on the sofa near the fireplace. He called Bryan. I'm really worried that Dad will hit him again. I peeked not far from where they were.
"I'm sorry Dad," he said slowly while standing right behind Dad who looked annoyed.
"Sorry? Is that all you can say, huh? Aren't you satisfied that you have embarrassed Dad with all your behavior? Dad raised you from when you were little until now, but what did you get back as a child? You're just embarrassing the family...!" shouted Dad, full of emotion.
"I understand that Dad is angry with me. This is all my fault. I'm sorry Dad! But I just want to show what Dad has taught me all this time. I want everyone to know and see everything!"
"What are you saying? You want revenge on Dad? You want revenge, right? Dad shouted.
"No, I don't want to repay anything. Wasn't it Dad who taught me to always hurt other people? Isn't that what Dad has always done to me and Anka all this time?" said Bryan with tears in his eyes.

***