Tears Never Dry

I can only see them from a distance. I'm afraid if I get closer everything will get worse. Why does everyone always hurt each other? Is there no longer any affection between them? From a distance I saw Dad with his back to my brother. His eyes were focused ahead, looking like he didn't want to say anything else.
"Dad, I'm really sorry for disappointing you. But believe me, I never expected all this to happen. I really love you, Dad," he said as he walked away leaving Dad silent.
My feelings were incoherent when he said that he really loved Dad, those words sounded very sincere when he said them. Now I understand how much Bryan loves Dad even though he never got a hug from that person. It turns out that sincere love never expects a return.
Bryan stood holding the balcony railing while looking at the night sky. The gust of wind touched both of our hearts right now. I followed him and tried to comfort his fragile heart.
"Bryan...!"
"What's wrong, Anka?"
"Actually, lately I've been feeling like you're going to leave since I heard the conversation between you, Dad and Uncle Clark at that time. Is it true that you want to go?"
"Actually, I wanted to tell you from that time, but I was afraid you wouldn't be able to accept it," answered Bryan.
"Where are you actually going?"
"After school, my father asked me to continue my education at a police school outside the city."
"W...what? Police school?" I said in disbelief.
"Actually, I don't want to leave you, but I also don't want to disappoint Dad. I want to make him proud."
"B... but what about me? I don't want you to go, please Bryan don't leave me?" I asked, my tears starting to flow. I can't hold back my emotions right now.
I know Anka, I don't want to leave you alone either. But here are Clara and your friends. I'll ask them to look after you. Do you know how Dad is? "He will impose his will without considering our feelings," said Bryan while wiping my tears.
"I don't want... I don't want you to leave me, please don't go...! Don't leave me alone!"
"I'll definitely come back Anka, it won't take long. After that we'll always be together, I promise!"
"This is all unfair... God is unfair to me...!" I shouted in his arms. I don't want to just let him go. I felt Bryan's tears falling on my head. I've never felt this sad since Mom left. And the pain repeats itself.
***

This afternoon after school I stood alone on the balcony on the top floor of our school. I stood looking at the clouds in the sky. Every now and then I take a deep breath and exhale, and that's what I do without doing anything. I don't know what to do to prevent Father's intentions, it seems that it is absolute and cannot be contested. Without realizing it, Clara came over to me and stood right next to me.
"Anka, why are you here alone?" Clara asked.
"I'm confused."
"Confused why? You're in trouble, aren't you?"
"No."
"Then why do you look gloomy like this?"
"In three months we will graduate from school."
"So that's what makes you nervous, don't be afraid Anka."
"Not that!"
"So what?"
"After graduating, Bryan will enter a police dormitory outside the city!"
"Re...really? Wh...why?"
"Father forced him to continue the family tradition. We couldn't do anything to stop him."
"So we had to separate..." Clara said softly.
"What?"
"N... no, it's nothing. It must be very lonely without Bryan."
"You're right, I've been with him since I was little. I can't imagine if suddenly he's not by my side. I won't get used to it."
"Anka, I won't be able to feel what you've been feeling all this time, but I will still try to be your best friend. If Bryan leaves, I promise I will replace him to be your brother. Even though it won't feel the same, I will try."
"Hey you guys? What are you doing here?" asked Bryan who was suddenly standing behind us.
"You... you? Since when were you here?"
"Just now, I looked everywhere for you guys. It turns out it's here! Let's go home!"
"But I'm hungry, let's eat out first, okay? Haven't eaten out for a long time," I asked.
"Okay ...!" he answered.
"Then I'll choose the place, okay?" asked Clara.
"Okay!"
We went to a café on the edge of town, Bryan kept telling funny jokes. I laughed happily but somehow my heart hurt, very painful. Like being stabbed by a sharp object. I was silent for a moment, suddenly my tears flowed slowly.
"Anka, what's wrong with you? Why are you crying?" Bryan asked.
"I... I'm okay, I cried happily. It's been a long time since we hung out together like before," I answered.
"Anka, I won't be gone for long. I will definitely come home and come back to you."
"Bryan, mom... that's not my... me...!" I said haltingly.
"I know, don't smile if it's just to calm my heart. Because you won't be able to hide your feelings from me."
"Every time time passes I feel so scared. Until now I still hope this is all just a dream."
"Just think of this as just a dream while you were sleeping. If you open your eyes again you will definitely see me again. Believe me!"
"Okay, when the time comes I will definitely wake up from my sleep, right?" I said while trying to smile firmly.
"Yeah, now let's eat first. After this we'll go to Disneyland. Do you want to or not?"
"I want to, I haven't been there for a long time. On holidays it would be very busy. So it wouldn't be exciting," I answered.
"But this isn't Anka's holiday, it definitely won't be too busy," continued Clara.
"Then it will be fun..." I said happily.
Bryan and Clara laughed at my behavior. You're right Bryan, I did all that so that you would be calm when you leave me later. Because I can definitely do something without your help. You don't have to worry about me anymore. Trust me...

***