Chapter Ten: Jenny

Chapter Ten
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Jenny



I laid in bed staring up at the blank ceiling, bubbles of emotion rising in my throat. Xander showing up at the bar last night had made me raw. I couldn't handle seeing him after how he hurt me.

I expected once the ecstasy wore off that I would feel fine, but the pain was still present, and it got worse from seeing him. It took every ounce of self-control I had left not to cry. It was a struggle.

My heart was aching.

I turned toward the clean, white wall and spooned my pillow. Why couldn't he get the hint that he couldn't fix this? Why did he even want to? Was sex that important to him?

I wasn't important to him, or he wouldn't have walked out on me like he did that night.

I couldn't stop it. The tears fell. At first, it was one, but then another trailed the first. Soon, they were pouring down my face at an alarming rate, and it felt like my heart was being torn out of my chest.

The ache was too great. I couldn't stop it from consuming me.

Is this really just a broken heart? It felt way worse than I ever expected it to.

I had a flashback of being in bed with Xander, his fingers running through my hair, as I kissed his chest. It was a simple memory, one with erotic undertones, but it was too much.

My tears turned into full-on sobbing.

"Jennifer!" I heard Liam calling for me, but I couldn't stop crying. "You have a visitor!" I didn't respond. I willed the tears to stop, but it didn't. The pain was too great.

It felt like forever, but it was really only a couple of minutes before my sobs became dry. I took a few breaths to calm myself before I pulled myself out of bed.

My room had been pretty bare since I moved in, just a brand-new cherry oak dresser, a matching bedside table, and the full-sized bed that I was on, but now it felt so dark and gloomy. It was like everything was black, all color fading from the world. Even the sun seemed dark in my depression.

"I'll be down in a minute!" I croaked, dryly, before going to my adjoined bathroom. I threw some cool water on my face and tried to erase the puffiness of my eyes, but no amount of water could wash it away. I settled for makeup as my saving grace. I put on just enough to cover up how swollen my eyes were and how red my nose was. I looked presentable even if my eyes did look rather dead to me. Even the ocean blue color of my irises seemed dull and boring.

I put in some eye drops to clear up how red my eyes were before I emerged from the room. I strolled downstairs and was surprised to see Liam was gone, his car was gone, and Xander was standing before me.

Gone was his biker gear. In its place, Xander was wearing a nice navy blue button-down and some faded jeans. He had traded his biker boots for some tennis shoes. His short beard was gone, and his hair was combed.

This was very different from the Xander I had become used to seeing. He looked....presentable....which was unnerving. It shook my guard. It didn't bring it down, but it made it harder to keep up.

"Xander? Where is Liam?" I asked, nervously, and he gave me a kind smile. It wasn't his normal sexy smile. It was kind and sweet.

"He left. He decided to go check up on Bruce and Sally." I looked around suspiciously. Was there some booby trap set up nearby? Was this a trap itself?

"What are you doing here?" He slowly and carefully walked over to me before softly taking his hands in mine.

"I came to apologize, Jen." I was stunned by this. Xander wanted to say he was sorry? For what? Was it his asshole behavior at the bar a week ago?

"For what?" I asked and eased my hands out of his. I crossed my arms over my chest, and his eyes narrowed.

"We both know, babe. I know I came off as being a raging dick a week ago at the bar. I didn't mean to. I swear. I wasn't trying to upset you or make you feel rejected. I should've realized you would be upset. I just figured you heard what Drill had said and understood why I had to deal with him right then." Okay, now, I was confused.

"Um, deal with him?" The part of me that was protective of myself urged me to kick him out the door and refuse to see him ever again, quit my job, and leave California forever. The thing that stopped me was that I knew I needed to hear him out. He had brought down my defenses by showing up at my place of residence, dressed to impress.

"He said some majorly disrespectful stuff directed at you, and I wasn't going to stand for that. The worst bit was that he was saying it to me. I wasn't going to let something like that fly. He's new which is probably the only reason I didn't kill him, to be honest. I wanted to. I really wanted to. I was so pissed that I was seeing red." Wow. Xander didn't ditch me to hang out with his crew? Drill had been bad-mouthing me?

"What did he say?" I asked, and a dark shadow fell across his eyes.

"Save a piece for us. Some of us would like to take that dick-hopper for a drive," Xander uttered with anger in his voice. Possessiveness radiated from his aura and jealousy encased his honey-hazel irises. The coloring in his eyes nearly disappeared, replaced with a near blackness that I had never seen before.

Xander hated Drill for wanting to put his hands on me.

"He said that? I'm surprised he's still alive. I can't say I'm surprised he said that considering he is the one who demanded I give him head in front of your crew when I went to the bar with Bruce." His eyes went wide before narrowing into menacing slits. Why is it that seeing Xander so pissed made my pussy so fucking wet? Was there something wrong with me?

Of course, Xander wasn't mad at me. He was mad at Drill, but still, Xander's hatred fueled my hormones in a way I didn't foresee.

"Fuck. He said that to you?" I slowly nodded.

"I didn't drop him the way I did just for calling me a doll." I tried to soften the blow a bit, but he was still pissed.

"shit," he groaned, then moved closer to me. His mouth found mine possessively, and I clung to him, pulling him closer to me.

"Xan," he growled into my mouth and grabbed my ass through my Pokemon pajama pants, pulling my body against his. I moaned and whimpered, as his tongue dug past my lips. I loved the feel of his barbell in my mouth and his hands gliding to my waist.

"Fuck," he grunted, as he pulled out of the kiss. "Sorry. I'm not trying to--" I didn't give him a chance to finish that statement. I knew what he was trying to say, but it wasn't necessary.

"It's okay, Xan." I gave him a soft kiss on his chin, then his masculine jawline. "I miss the beard," I teased him, and he laughed.

"I figured you would be into the clean shave." I snickered before rolling my eyes.

"Other than using it to tickle me, I like the beard. I like the shave, but it makes you look really young. A bit unsettling, really. You're hot no matter what you do with your facial hair." I gave him a sexy smirk, and he returned it.

"Really?" I hummed, then kissed him again. "So are we okay?" he asked, sounding oddly like a five-year-old child that had screwed up.

"More than okay. You know, it's a big turn on when you're all pissed and jealous." He gave me that flirtatious smirk and winked at me.

"We're going to need to do something about that." He grabbed my ass in my unflattering Pokemon pajama pants, and I moaned before kissing him.


*****


I was walking Xander out to his motorcycle when a big, yellow moving truck drove up and parked, blocking the driveway. I was appalled, and Xander just laughed.

"Seriously?" I groaned.

"Calm down. We'll just talk to the driver." Xander tried to calm me down, but nothing pissed me off more than an obnoxious, self-centered motorist.

"Oh, I'm going to do more than just talk," I said to Xander, as I walked over to the truck. "Hey, fucknut! What do you think you're doing?!" I slapped the side of the truck. I wasn't expecting the driver to walk around the side behind me.

"Fucknut? Is that any way to greet an old friend, Jennifer?" I spun around at the recognition of the feminine voice and screamed before slamming a hand over my heart. The eyes of my childhood best friend widened, and she laughed.

"Holy shit! Meg?" I smiled big, and she hugged me. "Fuck, you're in America?"

"Yes, I am. Crazy, right? Well, what did you expect, dearie? You run off out of nowhere and don't even make a pit stop at home to say goodbye to your best friend. If I didn't deduct that you were in trouble, I might be stark raving mad, love. Let me guess, that bastard of an uncle?" I shrugged before grinning.

"An even bigger bastard now. That is neither here nor there. How in bloody hell are you here? I haven't forgotten that you're....." I trailed off, unsure if I should say it in front of Xander.

"Club property? Yeah, no shit, dearie. You obviously haven't heard yet." I was perplexed.

"Heard? Heard what?"

"There is rebelling within the organization. Those loyal to you and your father are trying to split off from your uncle. The Sergeant in Arms is leading the rebellion as of now. There are some demanding retaliation against Crack for his crimes against Trapper and you. There are a lot of the Black Stallions siding with you, ready to be led by you." I felt like the air had completely left my body in an instant. My brain was foggy, and I felt uneasy on my feet. Her news had rocked me to my core.

"What? That's impossible, Meg."

"It's true, Jen."

"No, it's not. Even if it was, which it isn't, I don't want it. I never did and my father wouldn't listen to me. Crack wouldn't listen either," I explained, and she huffed.

"That's not the point, Jen. Crack crossed a line, and everyone sees it. He's a fucking prick that has no business in leadership. He turned his own brother into bread loaves not to mention Skater as well." Bread loaves were slang for killing someone, and my heart nearly stopped from what Meg had said.

"Wait, Skater? Why?" Meg frowned.

"He called Crack an 'incestual rapist fucknut', and openly said that you should lead the club because you've seen every aspect of it. You were one of the boys and one of the girls. He preached about you needing to start a revolution in the chapter, and Crack put him down. After that, everyone started jumping on the Team Jenny train." I was pretty dumbfounded. Skater was a sweetheart, and he cared about everyone. He would've made a great president for the club.

"Well, Fuck."

"Enough of the heavy. I brought a surprise for you." Meg squealed, and I was still in a daze from what she had told me. I had completely forgotten that Xander was still standing there. "Oh, hi!" Meg stopped and waved at Xander. I frowned at him and looked between them curiously. "Is that Liam?" she whispered quietly to me, and I quickly shook my head.

"Make sure he doesn't hear you say that. It might offend the great and terrible Gunner," I teased in her ear, and she looked at me perplexed.

"Um, who?" I rolled my eyes and nodded Xander over before taking his hand in mine.

"Xan, this is Meghan Harper, one of my good friends from Sydney." He nodded with a soft smile on his face. "Meg, this is Alexander Davenport, A.K.A. Gunner, A.K.A. the president of the Black Stallions chapter in San Jose, A.K.A. my boyfriend." Okay, that one word was so fucking weird to say. I had never actually called someone my boyfriend. No one except Xander. His grin doubled in size, and Meg's eyes widened.

"Wait, there are Black Stallions out here?" I nodded.

"Meg, you're club property. How do you not know that?"

"Girl, I don't pay attention to that shit, not that it would make much of a difference anyway. Not every female in the organization back in Sydney could ride with the boys like Doll." She practically slurred my club name, and I scowled. I hated that name.

"Doll?" Xander asked, as he threw his arm around my shoulder.

"Oh, he doesn't know?" Meg asked, surprised. "Jen is the only patched female member back in Sydney. Everyone called her Doll, and she hated it. Everyone treated her like a porcelain doll, which is where the nickname came from. She was one of the boys, and yet still one of the girls. fucking sexist pigs."

"Speaking of sexist pigs, who the hell let you leave?" She shrugged nonchalantly.

"You left."

"I was running for my life. You obviously aren't," I rebutted, and she snickered.

"Babe, everyone left. The untouchables, house mouses, den mothers, and property. Poof," she stated, and my jaw dropped.

"Seriously? Well, shit."

"Yeah, call it a revolt. One night, all of us just disappeared." My eyes widened. "We took a stand in the name of Jen Saunders. We were all done with the bullshit. They were your family, and they did what they did to you? You know, Crack recorded that shit?" I gulped from what she said, and I felt the color drain from my face.

"What?"

"Yeah. Flashed it around at a meeting as a warning. 'This is what happens if you defy me,'" she explained, and my body stiffened.

"What is she talking about?" Xander spoke up, and I bit my lip nervously. I didn't do nervous, but I never wanted Xander to find out what happened.

"Um, I'll give you a minute." Meg took a step back and went around the truck, as I turned to Xander, worry across his face.

"Jen, what's the matter?" He gently touched my face, and it melted away all of my stress. I leaned into him, feeling like everything was right in the world as long as he was touching me.

"I left out a part of the story about what happened with Crack." He slowly nodded, and I wrapped my arms around his waist. My arms were shaking, and his eyes narrowed with sadness.

"Baby, what did he do to you?"

"It's not what he did. It's what he tried to do." He nodded for me to continue. "My dad was very protective of me. He didn't even want guys to look in my general direction, and Crank was mad when my dad picked me to be his successor, so he wanted to turn me into a mouse," I explained, and he sighed.

"Okay?"

"He and a bunch of his guys jumped me and tried to....rape me. I fought my way out, and that's the end of it." His expression was blank, and I was worried until he pressed a soft kiss to my forehead, pulling me into his arms.

"God, Jen. Why didn't you tell me before?" Tears collected in my eyes, as I clung to him with everything in me.

"I wanted to forget," I whispered, brokenly, and Xander just held me tight for a while. It was exactly what I needed.