Chapter Eight: Jenny

Chapter Eight
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Jenny



Haerts' *Your Love* vibrated through my earbuds, as I gazed at the black walls of the bar that I was now working in.

Last night and this morning felt like a dream. I had sex with Xander, five times. Twice last night and three times this morning. It was passionate, zealous, hypnotizing, rough, alluring fucking. It left my body full of a need for more which was new. I never had a desire to go back for more, but Xander was different. He made me feel things I had never allowed myself to feel with another man, and he beckoned them out of me. No matter how much I resisted, I couldn't deny him my heart.

Of course, Liam freaked out when I walked into his house at noon wearing my clothes from the night before. He tried to warn me off of Xander. He was a biker, after all. Biker spelled trouble and considering where I came from, he expected me to avoid Xander Davenport like he had HIV.

If Xander hadn't gotten the reaction from me that he had, I might heed the warning, but I couldn't turn back. I had opened the floodgates and let my emotions free. I couldn't lock them away again. Xander was like me. He was a club offspring, and he understood what it was like growing up the way I had. He didn't look at me like I was crazy, impulsive, or heartless. He just saw me, and he didn't run away.

He was the first guy not to run, and I liked that about him. I didn't scare him just like he didn't scare me. I was just Jen, not the daughter of the insane founding father of the Black Stallions international motorcycle club, not the fugitive running from Crack to escape her death, not the scared little girl who lost all of her family. No, I was only Jen to Xander, and I loved that. I loved being seen as me and that was something I never had. My mom always saw my dad when she looked at me and vice versa. I wasn't a thing of joy for them because of their twisted relationship.

I knew my parents loved me, sure, but that love was tarnished long ago. There was always a 'but' I saw in their eyes.

I love you, sweetheart, but you remind me of my husband who raped me repeatedly and broke my heart on a daily basis by screwing everything that moved. That was what my mom's eyes always said.

My dad's stare was even worse. I love you, and one day you will do great things, but half of you is the miserable whore who just couldn't take the life of a den mother. She was weak, and you better not be the same, or I'll end you with a flick of my wrist. Yup, that sounded about right. He said as much a few times when he was drunk.

My love for my mom was unconditional, but my dad, his was a bit more like his for me. Dad, I love you. I really, truly do, but I wish I had driven my swiss army knife into your kidney long before you killed Mom. Yup, I had a lot of repressed rage towards my dad.

Now, when it came to Xander 'Gunner' Davenport..... There were no exceptions to my affections for him. Xander made me happy just by being himself. I had never felt that before. I wouldn't call it love because it was too soon for that and a scary thought, but I had the feels for Xander. True, deep, raw feelings, and I couldn't send them away once he had opened my eyes to them. He opened my heart that had felt like it was dead for so long.

"Oh, Jenny!" I pulled out one of my earbuds and paused my music as I turned to Derek, a nice, heavy set black man about ten years older than Xander.

"Yes?"

"Could you be a dear and take the trash out for me? I can finish setting up." Derek's Bar and Grill opened their doors from ten in the morning to ten at night for the public, but after ten, it was club territory.

This was my test run. Derek's waitress had called in sick for the evening, so he had to tend to his customers, and I arrived to help clear the tables and get things set up for the bikers. Derek said it was my job to keep the Black Stallions happy, but if they weren't satisfied with my service, I would be done. If the place was clean when he got in at nine in the morning, he would give me some day shifts as well where I could earn some tips. He made sure I was aware that I was a Black Stallion's employee for now and that my performance would determine if he was willing to take me on during the other hours.


For now, my hours would depend on how drunk the bikers wanted to get.

"Sure, Mr. Watson. No problem." He hummed and approached me.

"Derek. None of this 'Mr. Watson', pretty lady." Really? God, not this.

"Um, I'd prefer to keep things professional," I said, then grabbed the trash. I ran out the backdoor and groaned, as I tossed the trash.

"Was it heavy?" I jumped and turned to see Xander there.

"God, don't sneak up on me like that." I swatted at his arm, and he pulled me into him, kissing me passionately.

"You shouldn't be frowning like that, sweetheart." His voice was like icicles, sharp and cold. Not the warm, caring Xander I was used to.

"Who said I was frowning?"

"Your groan did. What's the matter?" he asked, and my frown returned.

"I'm not going to say. I can deal with my own problems, Xander."

"I know you can. You don't need me or anyone else fighting your battles for you, but I want to know why you seem upset." I sighed in defeat, as his honey hazel eyes stared into mine.

"Men are assholes. Not you, but other men." He chuckled.

"Babe, you don't need to be polite. I know I'm an asshole."

"It's no big deal, Xan. I've dealt with much bigger problems, but Derek was trying to... test out the waters." Not sure if I worded that right for him to understand without saying he tried to see if he could flirt with me.

"Test out the waters? Derek tried to come onto you?" His teeth gritted, and I gently touched his clothed pecs.

"No. I think he was just putting feelers out to see if it would be alright if he did. I shut him down, but still, it was annoying. Do men think with anything other than their penises?" I figured the joke would lighten the blow of 'someone made a move on my woman' which pissed off all bikers. I was right. He laughed.

"Not all of us. You are offending my entire gender, woman."

"Woman? Talk about offending one's gender?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Female? Girl?....Pussy?" I slapped his chest, and he laughed again. "You know I'm just messing with you."

"I know, but you messing with me doesn't cure the problem of men objectifying me for their own pleasure." He gave me that sexy smirk of his that got close to dropping my panties every time he did it. Fuck.

"I have an idea of how to fix that." He had that look in his eyes. The one that said let's Fuck, and I knew exactly what plan he had. He wanted us to have sex, behind the bar, loud enough that Derek would hear. He would come check on the disturbance and find me and Xander fucking. It was Xander's way of saying back off and that's my girl.

Yup, I was Xander's woman, which meant I also knew when to say exactly what I did in reply.

"Ugh, no!" I turned and stalked off toward the back door.

"It would be fun!" He used that teasing voice again, and I flipped him the finger over my shoulder.

"Fuck you!"

"You, too, babe!" I could hear the amusement in his voice, as I slipped inside which let me know he wasn't offended by my way of rejecting his offer.

Sure, I loved sex. Loved sex with Xander specifically. Did I want my overweight, clammy-pawed boss to watch Xander Fuck me into oblivion? Hell, no. Other people I would be okay with, but I was not looking to lose this job. Sure, if I wasn't working there, I would probably still be coming by with Xander, but I needed the money. I needed this job.


*****


It was two in the morning, and the main players of the chapter were in the bar along with Carrie and Laura who I learned were the favorite mouses in the club. Trip favored Danica more than anyone else. I had the feeling that maybe Trip was in love with her. The single men in the chapter would cry if Trip locked her down.

Derek's Bar was nicer than the biker bar. The floors were clean, white tile and all the wooden tables were in perfect condition. The lighting was even better. The bar was completely lit up, not a dark spot in sight.

"So, Jenny," Laura slurred a bit as Xander pulled me into his lap, rubbing his hands up my thighs sensually. "Tell me about your cousin." Laura was drunk. She had been chugging those pink, girlie drinks all night, and I think they were all hitting her all at once.

"Liam? What about him?"

"He was just sooo sweet last night. Is he from... Australia, too?" she asked, while leaning against the table.

"No. He's from Chicago. My mom's side of the family all lived in Chicago. My mom was the first to leave. She went on vacation to Sydney and never went back, then Liam moved off to Los Angeles for music gigs then to San Jose. He's been the rhythm guitarist for Mayes for sixteen years, I think." I gave a bit of information, and she groaned.

"Laura, just ask what you're really looking for," Xander commanded, before sipping on his beer.

"Well, is he single?"

"Single? You want to know my cousin's relationship status?" She nodded rapidly, and Crank looked at her baffled.

"Bullshit! You thinking of leaving us, sweetheart?" She gave him a challenging look.

"If the right man arises to the challenge...." I laughed at her boldness. Yup, she was plastered.

"Fuck me." Crank downed his shot of...tequila? Maybe bourbon? I couldn't remember. Everyone had been switching up their drinks all night. I had been slowly sipping a glass of whiskey.

"Well?" Laura pressed, and I smirked.

"He is very single. I'm not sure if he even does relationships. We didn't talk about that shit until this morning when I got home." Holy shit. Did that just come out of my mouth? I really hope they didn't catch that. It's not that I was embarrassed of Xander or being with him. No. I just didn't want his crew jumping to the conclusion that it was just sex, a hookup, between me and Xander. It wasn't, and we both knew it. Everyone else, I wasn't sure.

"Well, damn," Laura groaned, and I looked over to see Trip and Danica were making out like a horny couple.

"Overprotective family members, am I right?" Crank joked, and I nodded as Xander kissed my neck.

"Liam would be the only one. The rest of my family....is a different story. Well, the only one left anyway," I said, then downed the last of my whiskey that I had been sipping all night. I eyed some club girls doing a striptease on one of the far tables for some bikers, but I noticed Xander's eyes didn't even glance in that direction. They were on me, and he was focused on the conversation.

"That blows," Crank stated, as he lit up a joint and passed it over to me. "You want a toke, sweetheart?" Crack was an older man, close to sixty, maybe a bit older, so I didn't mind the kid name he gave me. Xander had used the same name with me, but when he said it, there was a carnal edge to it that Crank lacked.

"Sure, old timer," I joked, and he grinned. I took a hit off the joint, then passed it along to Xander who held onto it for a bit, taking a few drags off of it, savoring the high.

"Well, family sucks." He nodded.

"Your parents still around?" Crank asked, a bitter sweetness to his expression. He was remembering his family probably.

"Nope. My mom passed away ten years ago, and my dad died three weeks ago." Crank frowned.

"Awe, sorry to hear that. It's hard losing your parents."

"You'll learn to humor Crank. He gets sentimental when he drinks," Xander whispered in my ear, and I snickered.

"Not so difficult when you've dreamed of gutting said parent for over a decade." I didn't even realize what had come out of my mouth until Laura spit her drink in shock. It shot out of her mouth like a sprinkler across the table. My hand slammed over my mouth, and then I started laughing harder and harder. "Oh, my god! I don't know where that came from!" I kept laughing, and Xander snickered in my ear.

"Somewhere deep inside, babe."

"Careful, sweetheart," Crank muttered, as Xander passed the joint back to me. "It's laced with MDMA." My eyes widened.

"Seriously?" He nodded, and I laughed again. "You put ecstasy in your weed? Who are you smoking joints with?" I asked, and he grinned.

"Don't worry. My junk stopped working years ago. It's relaxing." I nodded and reclined back against Xander, as I took another toke off the joint. "Looks like you're going to be having some fun tonight, Gunner." Xander chuckled softly, as I passed the joint back to Crank.

"Depends on how she's feeling when everyone goes home," he joked, and I held his arms around me. I was starting to quickly relax in his arms. Almost to a drowsy state.

"It is relaxing. I've never done ecstasy before," I admitted and felt Xander's soft lips caress my forehead.

"You've never done ecstasy?" I slowly shook my head.

"My dad barely let me around pot," I admitted, and I felt myself jolt awake a few minutes later. The strangest feeling filled my body. I was relaxed, yes, but it was something else. Something....more. I ran my hands up Xander's forearm and a moan slipped through my lips. God, his skin felt so good. The soft hairs on his arm tickled my arm in the most pleasurable way.

"Are you alright, babe?" Xander whispered, and the sound of his voice had my clit tingling.

"Gunner, the MDMA hit her." I noticed Crank looking close at my face. "Yup, she's rolling, boss." I snorted, as I played with Xander's arm hair between my fingers.

"Is that what this feeling is?" I rasped, and Xander softly chuckled in my ear. I turned my head and pressed my mouth to his, tangling my fingers through his hair, holding his mouth flush to mine. His tongue met mine in a dance of shattered wills and communicated my desires to him. Hell, right then, both of my deceased parents could've been standing there watching me make out with a man eighteen years older than me, and I would've kept doing it. A whimper and a moan slipped from my lips, as Xander teased the hem of my dress. It was black, sleeveless, paired with my dad's crew jacket.

"And that is our cue to exit," Trip said, and Danica laughed as they left with Crank.

I turned around in Xander's lap and straddled his waist. I went back to kissing him, as he pushed my jacket down my shoulders.

"Fuck," he growled into my mouth, and I rubbed myself against him through our clothes. I needed him. I had to have him. I didn't care who saw or knew I was fucking him. His mouth traveled across my jaw and down my neck.

I rubbed my hand against his erection through his jeans that seemed to get smaller, as he hardened. I squeezed his stem repeatedly as he groaned.

"Xan," I breathed to him. "I need you to Fuck me right now. Like, now, now." He groaned and grabbed my ass through my dress.

"Leave the table, now," he demanded to the others, and they jumped up quickly. "Fuck, right here? There are a bunch of people around," I whimpered, as he licked at the bowl at the base of my neck.

"I don't care. I need your cock in my pussy. I can't take it for another second." I started undoing his jeans, and he let out a husky moan.

"They'll know we're fucking, babe." Luckily, we were at a corner table, tucked away, but everyone would be able to see us and guess what was happening. I didn't give a shit.

"Oh, god....Xander....I'm so fucking horny." He pushed my panties to the side, and his cock slid home inside me. "Oh, yes." I rode him hard, as he reclined back in his seat, watching me work at him, and he stared at me, jaw slacked, desire caked in his honey-hazel eyes. "Xan, yes, yes, yes," I whispered over and over like a mantra, and his strong hands squeezed my ass.

"You're so fucking beautiful." He kissed me and massaged my breasts through my top. I groaned from my sensitive skin. Every touch, every caress, every thrust felt so different from normal, heightened. I was up in the clouds but quickly came down from the emotional part of the high in just a moment.

Someone said something, I think. I couldn't really be sure. I was so focused on Xander, pleasuring him, and feeling him pleasuring me. I watched his face snap towards his crew, and he suddenly pushed me off of him. Out of nowhere. It left me whip lashed and confused.

"Wha...." He had his dick back in his pants and was stalking away from me before I had a chance to really react.

Hurt, confusion, and rejection filled me, as I stared after him. My flesh still buzzed, but the emotional high had been erased, replaced with a low. One I had never felt before. One I hoped I would never have to feel.

I moved off the table, rushed out of the bar, into the back, and barricaded myself in Derek's office. I curled onto the couch in the office and saw on the monitors that Xander was still talking to his crew.

He had abandoned being with me to talk to them. Tears cascaded down my face, as I cradled my face in my hands. I sobbed and cried and detested myself.

This was my fault. I had put myself up for this. I had sworn to myself long ago that I would never make my mom's mistakes, that I would never become her, but in my determination to avoid it, I had done exactly that. I had given a man that I barely knew my heart, and he had ripped it out easier and quicker than I expected.

My heart lay bleeding on the floor from Xander's rejection, and I was....broken.