Chapter Fifteen: Xander

Chapter Fifteen
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Xander



James and I rushed Jenny to Dr. Hanson's house. He immediately assessed her. I was able to breathe again when he announced that she was still alive.

Jenny had internal bleeding which required surgery and meant a real hospital. Things were getting complicated and fast. Jenny's condition was risking putting the entire club in jeopardy. If I took her to the hospital, cops would ask questions, but I couldn't lose her.

We raced her to the hospital, and I carried her inside, wrapped in a blanket for the sake of modesty. She was taken back immediately. I wanted to go with her but the nurses, doctors, and the security guard refused to let me pass.

The waiting room set me on edge. I felt like I stuck in an episode of Grey's Anatomy, a family member waiting for news for endless hours. Nothing felt right. Jenny shouldn't be here.

Whatever doctor was working on her called the cops, and they talked to me and James separately. We already had our story down. Jenny stumbled into the clubhouse how she was, and we didn't know what happened. That's what we were saying anyways. The cops didn't believe us at all. They put on a tough act, saying they would get me and my club for this. They had already decided that I'm the one who hurt Jenny. It was about as much as I expected. The cops weren't helpful to people like me and my guys. Explained why we took justice into our own hands.

A couple of hours passed, and everyone from the club came to the hospital. I received the news that we had one casualty of the shoot-out. Dread, one of our newest patched members, had died, and we all grieved him and Domino as we waited for news on Jenny.

My gut was in knots. I needed to know she was okay, and the waiting game was killing me.

Meg came and sat next to me, holding my hand tight and leaning her head on my shoulder. We waited together and silently prayed that she would be okay.

I couldn't lose Jenny. She was my life, my world. I hadn't even realized how much she mattered until she was snatched. I was at the point of bargaining. I would do anything if she could be okay. I'd give up my club, get a normal job, and be with her every night. Just let her live. I was barely holding my shit together when Bruce, Sally, Liam, and Austin walked in and straight over to me. My eyes had spent so much time staring at my bloody hands that everything else seemed to have a red tint to it like a bloody photo filter.

"Where is she?" Liam asked, and my palms started to tremble.

"She's still in surgery, I think. No one has updated us," I stated with my broken voice. I was hanging on by a thread. Anything could make my resolve snap.

"What the Fuck happened? You were supposed to protect her!" Liam exploded at me, and the thread snapped.

"Yeah, I was. It was my job to protect her, but every possible thing you could throw at me for this, I have already done myself. This is my fault." Tears filled my eyes, as Meg rubbed my arm reassuringly.

"No, this isn't your fault, Xander. You did nothing wrong." Meg was trying her best to soothe me, but my head ended up in my hands, as I cried. "Hey, she's going to be fine, okay? You did everything you were supposed to," Meg whispered to me, then I felt her kiss the back of my head. "Back off, Liam! We did everything we could." My head swirled with images of Jenny and worries of never seeing her smile or laugh or just be herself. I was haunted by the picture of her in that chair in the warehouse, bloodied and battered.

"Xander?" I heard Sally's soft, sweet voice, and I slowly lifted my head. She knelt in front of me, her amber spirals surrounding her beautiful face. Her green eyes were so sad and understanding. She stroked my face, as she frowned.

"Jen loves you, Xander," Sally muttered, softly, and my lip trembled. "I know she wouldn't blame you for this, and that is what matters. You saved her. Remember that." Then, I cried like a goddamn baby. The floodgates were slammed open, and the tears poured as my body shook.

No one who saw me then would've thought for a second that they were looking at the president of an outlaw biker gang. I had killed people, stolen, drugged up, drunk insane amounts of alcohol, and fucked my way up the west coast. I had put plenty of good men in a fucking coma, but I couldn't handle the thought of Jennifer Saunders dying. That was what broke me. Nothing else.

Sally sat in my lap and wrapped me in her arms, crying into her neck.

Sally and I weren't close by any means. We barely spoke, but she was there. That was just the kind of person she was. She started the domino effect.

Alexa came over and sat on the side of me opposite of Meg, and Ginger stood behind me rubbing my back soothingly. Everyone slowly surrounded me, blocking out all light that didn't come from above. They were like a security blanket, helping me grieve the inevitable.

The longer it took for us to get some news, the worse off Jenny's chances were.

I clung tight to Sally, as I cried and cried and cried.

I wasn't a crier. I didn't even cry when my mom or my dad died. But this was worse. This was Jenny.

"Alexander Davenport?" I heard my name being called, and everyone spread out. There was a doctor holding a clipboard. "I'm looking for an Alexander Davenport?" I jumped up and wiped off my face.

"That's me," my voice cracked, and he nodded.

"Come with me. We've got your wife settled." Wait, wife? I never said Jenny and I were married. Why would he think that?

"So she's okay?" The doctor nodded, as he escorted me down a long hall.

"She'll be fine. She's just a bit drained from the blood loss. She's had a transfusion which should help her replenish what she lost. We're going to keep her for a few days to be safe, but she should be in the clear. Here we are." He pointed to a door, and I rushed to it, pushing it open.

"Jenny?" She was lying down in the hospital bed, partly inclined, and smirked at me as I walked in.

"Hey, you." I went straight to her and gave her a kiss. "Mmmm," she mumbled, and I heard the doctor knock on the door.

"Don't excite yourself too much, Miss Saunders. You don't want to exacerbate your stitches." He gave a slight warning, and she nodded.

"Thanks, doc." He closed the door, and she sighed.

"How do you feel?" I asked her, and she smirked at me.

"Like I got run over by a cement truck. They've got me on a nice cocktail of drugs, but I still feel swollen everywhere," she stated weakly, and I sat beside her, careful not to hurt her, and took her hand in mine. She smirked at me.

"I'm so sorry, Jen." Then she frowned.

"Why? You didn't do anything wrong," she protested.

"I was supposed to protect you, and they snatched you when I was in the next room." She shrugged, her eyes looking heavy.

"I had a chance to escape, and I didn't. James warned me that Crack was there. He told me to slip out and get away from there," she admitted, and I went into shock for a second.

"What? Why the hell didn't you leave?" I pressed, and she smirked at me.

"I heard the others say they were going to check upstairs. They would've killed you and Meg. Your gun was downstairs. I tried to get it, but they heard me and grabbed me before I could get it. They were going to kill me right there, but James convinced them to get me out of there. He bought me some time," she explained, and I frowned.

"shit. I hate that this happened to you." She slowly reached her hand up and touched my cheek, lightly stroking my jaw and beard.

"You found me, Xander, and you saved me. I should be dead right now, and I'm not thanks to you. I'm not in danger anymore because my devious uncle is dead, and I can finally stop worrying about him finding me." Jenny had been worried? Fuck, how did I not know that? I'm the shittiest boyfriend ever.

"But what happened to you--"

"It's not important, Xan. I'm fine."

"Jen, he had those guys rape you. You can't say that isn't messing with you." I knew better. I remembered when it came out that some of my guys were doing that to the club girls. I remembered how Laura broke down and seemed so fragile. It was almost like she couldn't breathe thinking about it. I had witnessed that happen to my own mother. I knew better than to think Jenny was okay with it.

"I saw it coming. I knew what to do to keep myself alive as long as possible. Crack wasn't even there for it. It wasn't about causing physical pain. He wanted to torture me mentally. Those guys, I knew all of them except maybe one. I'd known them my whole life. Some of them were my dad's friends as kids. I was around them a lot as a kid, and some of them didn't want to be a part of it, but they were under Crank's orders.

"Growing up, I spent a lot of time with the bikers, but I spent just as much time with the club girls. You know just as well as I do what that's like." I wanted to cry for her. "The girls at my dad's club had a trade secret of how to deal with those situations which I used. You get hurt less if you pretend you like it. If you don't fight or scream for help, they're less likely to hurt you. I was restrained anyway. I couldn't escape if I tried.

"I knew what Crack wanted. He wanted to hurt me, and I deprived him of that. He didn't want them to cause me physical pain but screw with my head by doing that and making me feel good when I didn't want it. It was about power. Crack didn't touch me, and he wasn't there, but everyone other than James participated. I know it's upsetting, but I did what I had to do." She frowned, as I squeezed her hand. Did she think I was going to be mad at her?

"I'm not upset with you, Jen. I'm pissed at them for thinking that was okay." She smirked at me.

"I'm fine, Xan. I'm just exhausted from everything," she explained, and I slowly nodded.

"Jen?" She hummed in response. "I'm sorry you lost the baby," I stated, and her eyes widened. "You know my stance on that, but I also know that was something you wanted, and I'm here if you want to talk about it." She frowned and nodded.

"I don't want to talk about it. I'd rather stuff it down and ignore it. Us being together is more important to me than my desire to procreate, so you don't need to worry." I wasn't so sure about that, but I didn't push it.

I laid down beside her, and she turned into me, pressing her face against my chest.

"I love you, Jenny." She smirked before lifting her eyes towards me.

"I know. I love you, too, Xan."