Ch 25: The Other Fire Witch

It took all of the strength in her for Astasha not to collapse in tears. So to keep herself from breaking, she reached inside and pulled the fire within, wrapping it around her heart, shielding it, cutting off her heartache.

Her focus turned to the older fire witch who stood before her, watching her, reading her. "Please, come in."

Astasha stepped out of the way for Helia to enter her room and followed behind, closing the door.

Astasha couldn't bear to look at her bed so she led the way to her workshop. "What did you wish to speak with me about?"

"Honestly, I just wanted to check on you. The past couple days can’t have been anything but horrific for you and it seems everyone’s concerns have fallen far outside the understanding of basic human emotions and needs."

"I am fine, Sorceress—"

"Please, call me Helia."

“Thank you Helia. But really, I’m fine.”

Helia nodded once, watching Astasha. “I am sorry."

Tasha could feel the genuine energy coming from the other fire witch. "What do you have to be sorry for? You've done nothing but try to help me."

“I’m sorry you must shield your heart that way. It isn't fair, the laws of this land. We should be free to love whoever we desire."

A familiar feeling seemed to seep from the woman across from her and Astasha focused on it, trying to understand what it was. She gently sent out her energy and a small gasp escaped her.

Helia smiled a knowing smile. "I'm no stranger to shielding my own heart."

She too had a shield of energy inside her, protecting herself from feeling or hurting. But why? Who was she guarding her feelings for?

A face flashed within Astasha's eyes, a man, brow furrowed, stern and serious.

Her mouth gaped open. "Errant?!"

Astasha hadn't meant to sound so shocked, but the brief glimpse into Helia's heart that she had been allowed to see was anything but what she expected. Everything about their relationship made sense now, the way she spoke to him, how he responded to her.

"We were just young sorcerers when we met. I, a free spirit in awe of all the world could offer, he, a serious student of the learnings of magic. We loved each other, perhaps because we fit the piece the other was missing, but while I loved him with all of my soul, his love was split between me and his greatest goal, to become High Sorcerer to the King."

Astasha's face softened as she began to understand. To become the High Sorcerer you had to devote yourself entirely to the craft. There could be no distractions, not a partner or a lover. He had chosen his position over the woman who loved him. Suddenly, Tasha’s heart broke not just for herself, but for her fellow sorceress as well.

She looked at the older fire witch as if she was truly seeing her for the first time. She had tight curls of orange-red hair speckled with grey, like ash amid flame, and her eyes were the color of rich amber. But there was an exhaustion behind them. Her small form and soul were worn from years of protecting herself from a shattered heart.

"I'm so sorry."

Helia shook her head. "Don't be. I knew if he chose me his heart would never fully be mine, that he would eventually grow to resent me. So when the King offered him a position in his advisory, I told him to accept. He begged me to join as Fire Witch but I couldn’t. I didn't know that my heart could handle being around him without being with him. I think he closed his heart off for good that day.” Helia seemed lost in thought for a second before taking a deep breath and shaking her head. “Anyway, perhaps now you will understand more of why he has treated this whole situation as he has; it is easier for him to ignore the idea of love than to feel its sting again.”

It did indeed explain so much of Errant’s attitude regarding what was happening. More than that though, Astasha realized just how strong the woman before her was, and just how weak she herself had been. She should have walked away from Cal that first day they had met, ignored the feeling inside her that knew he was the only one for her; it would have saved him so much torment if she had just been stronger… but she hadn’t been, and now they both were paying the price. "I wish I had had your courage, that I had it now." Tasha's eyes were downcast but Helia's hand gently lifted her head.

"My dear girl, you have more courage than you know. You sacrificed yourself for the one you loved, not just at the risk of your heart, but your life. You fought for what you knew to be right, and overcame obstacles most others wouldn’t have even attempted to face. You are one of the strongest women I’ve ever met. Which is why we need to find a way to save you now. The power within you is greater than any I have ever felt and you cannot let that be snuffed out."

Astasha didn’t know what she was talking about. She had never felt so powerless in her life. “I appreciate you saying that, but even if it were true, I wouldn’t know the first place to start trying to fix all of this.”

"Well, most people say it's best to start from the beginning but I disagree… you can't get to the center of something without unraveling it from the end first."

“I don’t follow.” Said Astasha.

“Well, if we want to figure out how to deal with this demon once and for all, we need to start with the last thing we knew about it.” Helia took Astasha's hand and led her to sit in the chairs in her workshop. “You mentioned the demon wasn’t working alone… what makes you think that?”

Everything had been so chaotic, Astasha had all but forgotten the conversation she had had with the demon while unconscious. Something so important had simply slipped through the cracks in everyone’s concern about the connection between her and Calder. How? She suddenly felt very foolish. It then dawned on her that her memory of that encounter was not one that had been seen during the Authentication Ritual. How was that possible? Was it because it had been inside her head and not something to take place in the waking world? Whatever the reason was, Astasha remained the only one to know about the encounter.

While her head exploded with a million questions and thoughts, something inside her made her hesitate. The demon had mentioned a woman. The entire thing had gotten swept aside because Astasha had wanted to speak to Errant about it privately, an opportunity that never came. And now, a woman, who had appeared just as all of this was happening, who was the only one to have clung to that piece of information, wanted to know more. An eerie sense settled in Astasha’s stomach and she found herself shielding her mind.

“It was just a theory.” She lied.

“Even theories are based in something. Did it say something to you? Show you something while inside your head?”

Astasha was now completely on edge. She was alone, in a room that was completely sealed off from the outside world, with someone she knew nothing about, that seemed far too interested in something she wasn’t comfortable discussing with her. She needed to get away from the topic, away from Helia; she needed to speak with Errant immediately.

“If it had, you all would know as much as I. You saw every memory I have. I guess it just seemed like it was being too patient, like it was biding its time, waiting for someone to come to its aid. I don’t know. Everything has just been so chaotic, I just…” she was rambling and sputtering, clearly caught off guard.

Helia shook her head. “I’m so sorry. Of course, you’ve been through so much in so little time. There must be so many things going through your mind, and you are absolutely correct to think of any and every possibility, whether it be a theory or something more.” Astasha simply nodded. “Still, I think it warrants speaking to Errant about. He may have an idea or two on how to find out if it does indeed have an accomplice.”

There was a calmness coming from the sorceress that was almost unnerving. She couldn’t read anything else coming from her and it made Astasha uneasy.

“I agree. I should call him before he is too busy with his duties for the day.” Tasha stood, trying not to appear uncomfortable or off-putting. She was good at masking herself, but she knew the other fire witch was far more experienced and hoped she wasn’t reading right through the shield she had put in place.

Helia stood as well. “Yes, absolutely. Perhaps between the three of us we can deduce if your suspicion has merit enough to look further into it.”

Working with Helia on this was not at all what Tasha wanted. She needed to speak to Errant alone, to tell him of the conversation that actually took place. She didn’t want to risk a potential intruder knowing she knew more than she was letting on.

A loud thudding on the door made Astasha jump and Helia quickly looked to the entrance.

"Sorceress Astasha, I've come with fresh herbs for you."

Tasha had never been so relieved to hear her fellow Earth Sorcerer's voice.

“That would be Bryn. I completely forgot he was bringing me more salve this morning. My wounds seem to be requiring more than I expected so I should probably treat them first.” She headed towards the door. “I’m sure you have more important things to attend to than standing around watching me do that so if you’d like I can call upon you and Errant when I’m done, hopefully he will still be free.” She prayed Helia would believe her. It would give her time to get Errant there by himself.

Helia smiled. "Of course, you take care of yourself. I can go find Errant and speak with him about what we’ve discussed, fill him in so he’s aware when you call.”

Astasha didn’t want her doing that either but it was better than her staying there. “That would be wonderful, thank you.”

She opened the door to see Bryn outside with a small bowl of salve.

"Thank you, Bryn." She said as she took it.

Helia exited the room. "I'll come to check on you again soon if I don’t hear from you.” She smiled at Bryn as she passed. “Sorcerer.”

"Thank you, Helia." Tasha called after her before turning to Bryn. "You wouldn't be able to bring me more of this tonight would you?"

"Of course. The High Sorcerer has requested the guard of your room continue as before so I shall be on watch then anyway. Zephyr will be here shortly to commence the first shift."

Astasha smiled at him. "Thank you. Just knock when you arrive."

He nodded and left as she closed the door, leaning against it, her heart pounding.

She needed to get her head together. It was highly possible Helia wasn’t the one the demon spoke of. In fact, it seemed mildly ridiculous to think that considering her history with Errant. Hell, the whole thing could have just been the demon fucking with her. That's what it did after all. But still, she couldn't help the odd feeling she had gotten from the sorceress.

Either way, not having disclosed the conversation with the demon to Errant immediately wasn’t going to look good on her part, especially if she was going to follow it up by accusing his ex lover of potentially being in league with it. Not to mention she had to find a way to even get him there alone without Helia knowing. Could things get any more complicated?

This definitely wasn't going to go over well at all.